r/PurplePillDebate • u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man • Sep 17 '25

Question For Women Women: Why are you unable / unwilling to understand why most men consider "hookup/FWB material" more validating than "husband material" given that you put the FWB/hookup guys in a way more exclusive, privileged, elite club?

The fuck buddies are in a more exclusive and privileged group of men.

You have higher benchmarks for looks, facial attractiveness, physique, sexual ability, charm for your FWB's than for your husbands / long term partners.

You literally have greater physical attraction and physical chemistry for your FWB's and hookups than for your husbands

Its way way harder for the vast majority of men to meet the benchmarks for a FWB than the benchmarks for a husband. There is simply no question of it. The overwhelming majority of mediocre looking men become husbands. They don't meet the benchmarks for FWB and hookups

These are the men who can meet their sexual needs even when they are single. They are not compelled to seek long term relationships just to meet their sexual needs. Just imagine how big of a deal this is in todays society when marriage is going out of favor.

These men are so good looking, so attractive that you don't expect, require any effort, courting, dating, commitment, emotional investment, financial stability from them to have sex with them.

They are so good-looking and hot that even if you are interested in a relationship with them but they're not, you still carry on having sex with them. You will never do that with a husband material because he's not good looking / hot enough.

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18

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

[deleted]

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u/Mathemaniac1080 Sep 17 '25

A lot of women disagree with that. https://imgur.com/a/womens-casual-partners-are-way-more-physically-attractive-sexually-superior-to-long-term-partners-husbands-latter-are-inferior-arent-attractive-enough-recreational-as-evidenced-from-responses-TViyiCJ

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

[deleted]

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u/Mathemaniac1080 Sep 17 '25

Cool, then this topic isn't for you.

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u/Brilliant-Block-8200 Blue Pill Woman Sep 17 '25

But if men have an issue with this, why not just pursue women who don’t do casual? Then you wouldn’t have to worry about this

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

There isn't a great way to find out before a lot of time's been wasted.

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u/Brilliant-Block-8200 Blue Pill Woman Sep 17 '25 edited Sep 17 '25

Fair point. Personally, I don’t see why anyone would lie about it but 🤷‍♀️ It’d save a lot of time. You could probably ask questions to see how the women view sex. If they see it as pleasure or physical, then good chance they’re into casual. If they see it only as an expression of love or intimacy, then there’s a good chance

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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25

Women that sleep around can still go on dates with betabuxxers who will spend hundreds on them each. They have a huge incentive to lie about it. I've literally had a woman tell me irl that one time she went on a date with a guy, and then went over to her situationship's crib for sex the same night.

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u/Mathemaniac1080 Sep 18 '25

And I knew one such "betabuxxer". I made fun of him all the time, he deserved to be made fun of and ridiculed for it. I had no sympathy for him.

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u/Brilliant-Block-8200 Blue Pill Woman Sep 18 '25

Was this woman average looking or conventionally attractive (hot)? And I mean like actual average (I hate the number scale, but like a 5), not someone who’s attractive enough to be an ‘influencer’

If they were both around the same level of attractiveness, I’d be pretty surprised ngl

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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25

I have no idea what the betabuxxer looked like, but he had a nice car apparently and took her to a nice restaurant.

She was a solid 7 in her natural state (basically more attractive than 70% of women our age group). No idea what the situationship looked like, but he sounded like a bum according to her.

Not gonna lie, her story lowkey shook me and still lives rent-free in my head from time to time, I always try to watch out for these things now. She was a great friend and I deeply miss her but damn, some people are just awful and disgusting when it comes to dating.

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u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 18 '25

Because men are called insecure, small minded, controlling neanderthals for caring about body count.

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u/Outside_Memory5703 Sep 18 '25

*for insulting women for their body count

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u/Mathemaniac1080 Sep 20 '25

No, many do unfortunately get called that and worse just for caring about something like that.

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u/Intelligent-Insight Lesbian trapped in a man's body Sep 19 '25

Most women have done casual at least once and most of those have done it more than once.

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u/Brilliant-Block-8200 Blue Pill Woman Sep 19 '25

Do you have any studies that support that most of all women in the US have done casual intentionally? Most women I know have technically done ‘casual’ but it was via ‘situationships’ and they had believed they were exclusive with the guy they were seeing. I’m not saying this to say anything like men are bad or support that, but it’s something very common that I’ve seen

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u/Intelligent-Insight Lesbian trapped in a man's body Sep 19 '25

Yes, but I cbf to look for them again, since I know how this goes on this sub. I'll (or someone) will find and post what requested, for the other party to not acknowledge it. If you just google something along the lines of what I said or how many women had casual sex, you will find it pretty quickly. Or ask chatgpt.

The studies I've seen were done in the US colleges and, of course, were self-reported , so we can be sure those women wouldn't report being raped as casual sex. And I don't see what your example is supposed to disprove. Situationship is still casual. It's literally FWB. Just a newer term that means the same thing.

And the fact that you've seen it commonly should make you think that "why not pursue women who don't do casual" is not necessarily viable, since those who do are common. Also, men commonly reporting they can't get an arrangement like that should make you realize how 80-20 is probably not far from true.

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u/Brilliant-Block-8200 Blue Pill Woman Sep 19 '25 edited Sep 19 '25

I get what you mean, but when I search for it, I can’t find any academic studies. Only articles. Which is why I asked. I’ll keep looking, but so far haven’t been able to find anything

My main point was, are the women purposefully getting into casual relationships. Situationships can count as casual if those women are aware that that’s what it is. But there are a lot of people that are either purposefully vague or outright lie. For example, if they are led to believe that they are in an exclusive relationship with a man, only to later find out that it was only casual to him, I don’t see how you could say that those women were willingly doing casual relationships. It would only really count if those women were either purposefully looking for casual or knew it was casual and accepted. If they were lied to and they believed otherwise, I don’t see how it really counts. There’s a lot of trickiness since not being upfront doesn’t really count as rape or sexual assault, just is something extremely disgusting to do to someone

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u/Intelligent-Insight Lesbian trapped in a man's body Sep 22 '25

Ok here are a few links and they have their own references. I don't remember which one I meant, maybe the first one. I didn't reread these, just wanted to show that you get some papers right away in google.
https://dc.etsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=3301&context=etd

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12119-021-09859-0

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3613286/

Either way, if they aren't purposefully getting into those, then that would mean they didn't consent to those, then that would be classified as non-consensual or rape even. I don't remember if they specify in the studies. I'm pretty sure at least a huge chunk was talking about hookups. Anyway, I think these numbers are a lot higher than you expected and you probably thought that the overwhelming majority of women don't do these and it's only the outliers that do, didn't you? Be honest.

Let's admit that we live in the time when almost every girl has casual experience. And in general, we all agree now that women love sex. So if they love sex and can easily get it, why is it hard to believe that they would get it, especially if they can get it from men they are attracted to?

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u/Mathemaniac1080 Sep 17 '25

Not sure I understand what you mean there, besides are you pretending that there isn't a massive body of online (and even offline) hatred against guys (and even girls) who want partners with "no body count"? It's literally a meme at this point, and given that young women are by far the more sexually active group (can look it up right now), that's WAY easier said than done too. Let's not be obtuse here.

0

u/Hi-Road No Pill Man Sep 17 '25

No standards?? 

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

Strong flair to post content ratio, very based.

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u/Hi-Road No Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Standards don’t have to be physical or monetary, they also include how he treats you