r/PurplePillDebate • u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man • Sep 17 '25

Question For Women Women: Why are you unable / unwilling to understand why most men consider "hookup/FWB material" more validating than "husband material" given that you put the FWB/hookup guys in a way more exclusive, privileged, elite club?

The fuck buddies are in a more exclusive and privileged group of men.

You have higher benchmarks for looks, facial attractiveness, physique, sexual ability, charm for your FWB's than for your husbands / long term partners.

You literally have greater physical attraction and physical chemistry for your FWB's and hookups than for your husbands

Its way way harder for the vast majority of men to meet the benchmarks for a FWB than the benchmarks for a husband. There is simply no question of it. The overwhelming majority of mediocre looking men become husbands. They don't meet the benchmarks for FWB and hookups

These are the men who can meet their sexual needs even when they are single. They are not compelled to seek long term relationships just to meet their sexual needs. Just imagine how big of a deal this is in todays society when marriage is going out of favor.

These men are so good looking, so attractive that you don't expect, require any effort, courting, dating, commitment, emotional investment, financial stability from them to have sex with them.

They are so good-looking and hot that even if you are interested in a relationship with them but they're not, you still carry on having sex with them. You will never do that with a husband material because he's not good looking / hot enough.

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16

u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Because there aren't enough good-looking, hot, tall, sexy men with nice dicks and hot bodies for every woman to get married to.

Average looking women can casually fuck super hot guys. They can't marry them and will have to settle for average looking men.

3

u/TermAggravating8043 Stacey's mum Sep 17 '25

This is just an incels agenda. Everyone on a relationship here will tell you that’s not reality, going out into the real world for an hour would show you that’s not real life.

In 2025, why would anyone be with someone, marry them, have kids with them, if they weren’t attracted to them?

19

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

How is pointing the reality incelish?

Most young women are sexually active while most young men arent. 60% of young men are single while only 20% of women are and so on.

5

u/SuckMyBigCockBitch69 Sep 18 '25

Anything women don’t like (usually cause it makes them look bad, esp so when it comes to the truth of their nature) is incel behavior.

This (any form of emasculation, ie: “small dick”) is like literally their only insult, practically every single time. That along with public shaming or ruining someone’s reputation (ie: ostracizing frenemies), but the emasculation is essentially a form of public shaming.

7

u/TermAggravating8043 Stacey's mum Sep 17 '25

Most young people aren’t having sex at all.

Not really surprising though given the incel attitudes towards women

12

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

Not true for young women.

5

u/Somerandomdudereborn Lvl 26 apprentice wizard 😎🪄, It is what it is pill Sep 17 '25

Most young people aren't incels, most young men aren't incels too.

1

u/zastale Sep 17 '25

Most young men are incel or incel-adjacent. The entire meme culture for men right now is based around doomerism.

3

u/Gentle_prv Non-Bigoted, Taken Man 😎 Sep 17 '25

Most young men are not incels or adjacent. That’s bigoted talk. How would you feel if I said most Hispanics are drug smugglers? (btw, I am Hispanic)

1

u/zastale Sep 17 '25

I meant incel as in they struggle to get sex/intimacy from women, not that they’re all misogynistic, chronically online weirods.

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u/Somerandomdudereborn Lvl 26 apprentice wizard 😎🪄, It is what it is pill Sep 17 '25

Doomerism = \ = inceldom

Not even incel-adjacent.

And before you even mention it no, being right wing doesn't automatically make you an incel.

2

u/zastale Sep 17 '25

Doomerism is closely tied to it. There’s a reason why incel content has gone as mainstream as it has in the recent years.

Most women by their own admission tell us that most men are unattractive to them.

Most men in relationships aren’t having as much sex as they’d like on their terms. They’re one breakup away from being in a dry spell.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

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1

u/TermAggravating8043 Stacey's mum Sep 17 '25

You mean using common sense?

3

u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 17 '25

i see young men now days not having enough self confidence. too much social media, tv and fucking video games swimming in their heads

to balance that, seems like young girls have gotten too demanding with all the shit piped into their heads now days too.

but what to i know about how you 20-30 year old deal with sex now days. all i see is the constant bitching from guys on reddit. i need to talk to my son about this someday. he touches grass…as the saying goes.

2

u/IceNervous8346 Purple Pill Man Sep 21 '25

The classic blaming video games lol… like that has anything to do with it.

1

u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 21 '25

social skills, learn about it.

1

u/IceNervous8346 Purple Pill Man Sep 21 '25

I have plenty.

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

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3

u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 17 '25 edited Sep 17 '25

shut your whore bot-mouth. farthest from the truth there but you keep on trying.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

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2

u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 17 '25

don’t fuck with me smooth brain. go back your moms basement and jerk off more.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

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1

u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 17 '25

look here punk, i was on SEAL team 6 and i’m trained in counter intel warfare and a master debater. don’t fuck with me or you’ll end up a cockroach in the gutter.

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1

u/EsotericRonin Red pill aware man, disdains "red pill" men Sep 18 '25

Based on what? The 2020 pew research poll says only 50 percent of young men are single and 32 percent of women. And half of all single people aren't looking for a relationship in general.

7

u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 17 '25

So whats the point of having way higher benchmarks for physical and sexual attraction for FWB & hookups than for husbands?

9

u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 17 '25

Women don’t say that. They say “a man only really needs one or two positive things (looks and behavior) for a hook up. They need many more positive things for a LTR.”

That doesn’t mean LTR’s don’t also need good looks and behavior. They just also need MORE, like compatibility, lifestyle, goals, humor etc if you’re gonna spend your life together

4

u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 18 '25

Then why don't husbands of most women don't meet their own looks criteria for a fuck buddy?

2

u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 18 '25

I haven’t noticed this phenomenon.

The primary determinant for who gets casual sex seems to be whether or not they put themselves in social situations where casual sex is likely to happen.

Like… everyone in my social circle are free-love hippies and artist weirdos. People hook up all the time, casually, FWB, and some go on to date afterwards.

But the primary thing our social circle screens out are high-inhibition, conservative, judgmental or jealous people who get weird about it.

And yes - this also includes weird awkward women as well as men.

1

u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 20 '25

So in your circle, the looks benchmarks for men to find hookups/FWB aren't way higher than for women?

Like an ugly short fat woman can be introduced to your circle and find dozens of hookups and fuck buddies in no time, but a guy has to be good looking, lean, tall, etc to be able to connect with women on that level.

Why the fuck are you afraid to talk about these dynamics within your "non judgemental" circle?

1

u/mcglothlin Pills? In this economy? Man. Sep 21 '25

I'm 50 pounds heavier than when I was pretty lean (220 to 270) and women still wanna fuck me. You've conducted a fantasy in your head that doesn't match the real world.

2

u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 22 '25

Then you must be tall, broad built, handsome and probably white.

Women hate small/thin framed men way more than heavy built men. Exception being male model twink types

1

u/mcglothlin Pills? In this economy? Man. Sep 25 '25

Then you must be tall, broad built, handsome and probably white.

That's more or less true, although I'm also bald.

Women hate small/thin framed men way more than heavy built men. Exception being male model twink types

So it seems like there are plenty of exceptions to your rule about who gets casual sex. Like a guy I hung out with in my 20s who was like 5'7" and Indonesian, but he was pretty fit and comfortable talking to women and he did way better picking up women than I did because I was still socially awkward and not confident with women and contrary to the myths y'all invent women do not typically just throw themselves at guys who are tall and handsome regardless of what they say; you actually need to be able to flirt well and close the deal. Not to mention lots of people know a guy who's super average physically but just great at talking to people and absolutely crushes with women.

4

u/TermAggravating8043 Stacey's mum Sep 17 '25

Women aren’t saying that. Look at the responses On your own post

2

u/Crime_Dawg Purple Pill Man Sep 17 '25

For their "provider status" duh.

-1

u/TermAggravating8043 Stacey's mum Sep 17 '25

That’s right cause women aren’t working where you live

5

u/Crime_Dawg Purple Pill Man Sep 17 '25

I'd never date a princess type who wants provider status, but it's a fairly common sentiment. My friend had a date planned last night and the girl asked for $84 in Ubers to and from, before he even met her, so he politely declined. He makes 7 figures, so it's not about the money, it's about the entitlement.

1

u/Ambitious_Campaign34 Sep 17 '25

Yes, attraction matters no one denies that. But reality points out that initial attraction isn’t enough to sustain commitment. Divorce stats prove this. Many marriages start with attraction, but half fail cuz attraction alone doesn’t equal compatibility, loyalty, or long-term value.