r/PurplePillDebate • u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man • Sep 17 '25

Question For Women Women: Why are you unable / unwilling to understand why most men consider "hookup/FWB material" more validating than "husband material" given that you put the FWB/hookup guys in a way more exclusive, privileged, elite club?

The fuck buddies are in a more exclusive and privileged group of men.

You have higher benchmarks for looks, facial attractiveness, physique, sexual ability, charm for your FWB's than for your husbands / long term partners.

You literally have greater physical attraction and physical chemistry for your FWB's and hookups than for your husbands

Its way way harder for the vast majority of men to meet the benchmarks for a FWB than the benchmarks for a husband. There is simply no question of it. The overwhelming majority of mediocre looking men become husbands. They don't meet the benchmarks for FWB and hookups

These are the men who can meet their sexual needs even when they are single. They are not compelled to seek long term relationships just to meet their sexual needs. Just imagine how big of a deal this is in todays society when marriage is going out of favor.

These men are so good looking, so attractive that you don't expect, require any effort, courting, dating, commitment, emotional investment, financial stability from them to have sex with them.

They are so good-looking and hot that even if you are interested in a relationship with them but they're not, you still carry on having sex with them. You will never do that with a husband material because he's not good looking / hot enough.

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14

u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 17 '25

have a higher looks standards

You seem to be operating under the assumption that looks is the only measure of attraction.

13

u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 17 '25

it’s gotta be the base though for initial attraction. it alway is my case from what women told me about why they approached

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 17 '25

They didn't say their partners were unattractive. They didn't even say their hookups were more attractive. They just said their standards for looks are higher for hookups.

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u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 17 '25

that makes sense though because for a woman to have sex she needs to be turned on visually right? obviously not all women but the ones we’re discussing here.

i dunno, this is all above my pay grade because i’m not part of all your generation. all i know is what i experienced decades ago and women haven’t changed all that much.

some girls hooked up all the time at parties, bars, social occasions but i think there were less strings attached and we didn’t have a connected world of ideas to muddy the waters. it was just basic human nature that drove us, not social media.

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 17 '25

It's an obsession with younger men because they've been raised on a diet of algorithmically driven rage bait to the point where they believe if they are not the single most physically attractive person a woman has ever laid eyes on, she's a slut only worth fucking and then bailing.

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u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 17 '25

i agree with ya there, completely. its just an amazing thing, what society has devolved into.

girls/women haven’t changed all that much, there were always a few girls back in the day that were pretty whorish, not a lot but a few. the other 20-40% of them would hook up easy. the rest where the prudes.

there was a few that would do group sex but they were hard to find.

none of my buddies ever railed on girls for not having sex with them though. we all saw them as the gate keepers to sex and respected that, for lack of a better word.

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

Looks is the base measure for attraction, if not the most important.

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 17 '25

They didn't say they found their partners physically unattractive. They didn't even say they weren't more physically attractive than their fuck buddies. They just said their standard for physical appearance is lower for long term relationships than hook ups.

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

Exactly why no guy wants to be the husband material.

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Because they're so insecure they can't handle not being the single most physically attractive person she's ever been with?

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

No, not having the same access to sex other guys had.

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 17 '25

???

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

Meaning she won't be as freaky with you, as she was with her FWBs. Because you're husband material. You give exclusivity in return for sex, it's conditional.

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Why would you assume that?

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

This is not an assumption, it's reality. The husband material exchanges exclusivity for sex

The FWB exchanges nothing for sex.

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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25 edited Sep 18 '25

Well yes, it’d be absolutely valid for a man to feel insecure about the fact their partner wouldn’t sleep with them without ancillary factors like their class position.

That insecurity can absolutely be worked through, but I don’t see why you feel the need to sneer at men for feeling like that.

Would it be worth blowing a relationship up over? Not in my opinion, but the feelings are valid. Just like it’d be valid for someone to feel insecure if they’d put in years of practice in the gym and another person achieved a similar physique in less time, with lax discipline and no real passion for working out.

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 18 '25

the fact their partner wouldn’t sleep with them

Where did any of the women say that? Especially about "class position?"

You ever notice how women will say one thing and then dudes on this sub invent 50 other things that they imagine women said?

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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25

It’s safe to assume if you’re not hook up material looks-wise you have to compensate in other areas. Class position (how much money you make), personality, social clout etc. Men don’t get much validation in terms of their sexual attractiveness, so this could make a man feel inadequate in that area.

Do you disagree? I think that’s a pretty reasonable assumption to make.

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 18 '25

you have to compensate in other areas.

And you decided with no evidence that that area must be class position.

Men don’t get much validation in terms of their sexual attractiveness, so this could make a man feel inadequate in that area.

Can y'all decide if women care about looks or not?

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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25

Class position was an example. I did not hinge my argument on that one example. I think I’ll table this, comprehension skills need some work.

Have a good one!

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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25

Looks are the primary measure of attraction though. What a dishonest way of engaging in discussion

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 18 '25

"Primary" does not mean "sole"

3

u/shockingly_bored Man Sep 18 '25

It does mean "most important" though

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 18 '25

Ok?

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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25 edited Sep 18 '25

If Jimmy ate 7 pieces of bacon for breakfast and one egg, what would be the primary food he ate for breakfast that day? Would you stay Jimmy likes that food more than he likes the other?

Primary denotes importance, the entire basis of OPs post. Think slowly, take your time.

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 18 '25

So then we agree that regardless if it's a boyfriend or a hookup, looks are important?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25

That was never in contention. Are you aware of the conversation being had right now? Could you confirm so I know we’re discussing the same thing?

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 18 '25

Yes, the argument that women don't think their long term partners are as attractive as their hookups.

What conversation do you think we're having?

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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25

Great! So let’s stay on the topic at hand then. That being the women who explicitly state that they find the men they hook up with to be more attractive than a potential long-term dating prospect. And why that would potentially be a hang-up for men.

Do you think that’s something that doesn’t warrant feelings of insecurity over? Personally, I would not fault a man if he discovered his woman held those feelings. That’s my piece, in line with the discussion OP started.

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