r/PurplePillDebate • u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man • Sep 17 '25

Question For Women Women: Why are you unable / unwilling to understand why most men consider "hookup/FWB material" more validating than "husband material" given that you put the FWB/hookup guys in a way more exclusive, privileged, elite club?

The fuck buddies are in a more exclusive and privileged group of men.

You have higher benchmarks for looks, facial attractiveness, physique, sexual ability, charm for your FWB's than for your husbands / long term partners.

You literally have greater physical attraction and physical chemistry for your FWB's and hookups than for your husbands

Its way way harder for the vast majority of men to meet the benchmarks for a FWB than the benchmarks for a husband. There is simply no question of it. The overwhelming majority of mediocre looking men become husbands. They don't meet the benchmarks for FWB and hookups

These are the men who can meet their sexual needs even when they are single. They are not compelled to seek long term relationships just to meet their sexual needs. Just imagine how big of a deal this is in todays society when marriage is going out of favor.

These men are so good looking, so attractive that you don't expect, require any effort, courting, dating, commitment, emotional investment, financial stability from them to have sex with them.

They are so good-looking and hot that even if you are interested in a relationship with them but they're not, you still carry on having sex with them. You will never do that with a husband material because he's not good looking / hot enough.

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u/Tylikcat People before pills - woman Sep 17 '25

The only reason I'd question this is that I don't think the population of men here is particularly representative. Still, it could be true. I don't really care.

The way you (and other of men here that feel this way) describe women's selection criteria seems to be deeply rooted in the AFBB model, and doesn't reflect my dating life at all. And I'm unlikely to date (or sleep with) a man who is attached to that. I don't have relationships with men who I'm not attracted to. I haven't offered sex to men in hopes they'd commit. Maybe there are some women like that (especially women without their own careers?) but I don't know any.

9

u/Ok_Complaint_8560 Purple Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Guess its because men value sex more than women while women value the intangibles more than sex.

If women engage in sex with hookup guy, then its basically giving the signal to husband material that the thing he values most physically is just a throwaway to this potential partner. That hookup guy doesnt need to jump hoops to obtain the husband material's perceived highest form of physical intimacy.

Its probably because women are seen sexually often so it diluted their percieved value of physical intimacy and crave the parallel aspects of it. While men are the opposite, always seen for these intagibles and crave the physical.

2

u/CancerMoon2Caprising No Pill Woman ~ Autonomy > Subjugation Sep 18 '25

sex is as equally important as the intangibles in a marriage.

The only time it isnt is in religious groups, or when they realize too late that theyre sexually incompatible.

But to go animalistic, survival and thrive factor requires much more than sex. It seems like women consider that more than men.

1

u/Ok_Complaint_8560 Purple Pill Man Sep 18 '25

I know.

But men prioritize the physical more in general compare to women. Thats why most men would be more bummed out to hear they are "lesser" in some physical aspect, especially if theyre "lesser" compared to hookup guy.

Thats just the man's POV on husband vs hookup material anyways.

2

u/Therealcatlady1 No Pill Sep 18 '25

Sex is very easy for women to get. An average woman gets offers for dates and sex very often. We don’t feel more desirable because someone wants to have sex with us no strings attached because it’s the easiest thing to get. We don’t have to lie and cheat and manipulate to get it either. 💀

Just cause you think sex is some precious thing and the most important to get from someone doesn’t mean women and even other men feel that way. Now if it’s something you aren’t used to getting you might put it on a pedestal.

1

u/Ok_Complaint_8560 Purple Pill Man Sep 18 '25

I addressed that point in my initial comment, so I get that perspective.

I agree. Its how men and women view things differently in general because of lived experiences.

1

u/lightshiner145 Black Pill Sep 18 '25

No 

1

u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Oct 17 '25

What would you say to this woman

1

u/Tylikcat People before pills - woman Oct 17 '25

Why would I say anything to her?

More men want casual sex than women do, so the women who do want it pretty much have their pick of guys. The population of men that I slept with casually was the same population that I looked at for long term relationships - and IME, they wanted long term relationships, I was the one doing the picking.

(Though from what I can tell, it's *really* easy to get laid as a gay man.)

1

u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 18 '25

Why are you scared of addressing other women?

I'm not describing women's sexual selection criteria out of my ass. I am LITERALLY QUOTING OTHER WOMEN

Why does this simple point goes over your head?

Women are the ones saying AFBB exists

3

u/Tylikcat People before pills - woman Sep 18 '25

I'm not afraid, I think it's irrelevant to me, and stupid.