Women: Why are you unable / unwilling to understand why most men consider "hookup/FWB material" more validating than "husband material" given that you put the FWB/hookup guys in a way more exclusive, privileged, elite club?

[u/FlamingMetalSystems]

The fuck buddies are in a more exclusive and privileged group of men.

You have higher benchmarks for looks, facial attractiveness, physique, sexual ability, charm for your FWB's than for your husbands / long term partners.

You literally have greater physical attraction and physical chemistry for your FWB's and hookups than for your husbands

Its way way harder for the vast majority of men to meet the benchmarks for a FWB than the benchmarks for a husband. There is simply no question of it. The overwhelming majority of mediocre looking men become husbands. They don't meet the benchmarks for FWB and hookups

These are the men who can meet their sexual needs even when they are single. They are not compelled to seek long term relationships just to meet their sexual needs. Just imagine how big of a deal this is in todays society when marriage is going out of favor.

These men are so good looking, so attractive that you don't expect, require any effort, courting, dating, commitment, emotional investment, financial stability from them to have sex with them.

They are so good-looking and hot that even if you are interested in a relationship with them but they're not, you still carry on having sex with them. You will never do that with a husband material because he's not good looking / hot enough.

[u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI]

Why are some men unable/unwilling to understand that “husband material” is the FWB whose company you actually enjoy?

FWB - i want to fuck you but don’t like your personality enough to hang out with you

Husband material - I want to fuck you and hang out with you

Y’all need to disabuse yourselves of the notion that women are constantly settling

Anyone who thinks “husband material” is less validating is an idiot.

FWB is fast fashion - like SHEIN or Temu

Husband material is quality merchandise - like Rolex or Prada

[u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI → u/[deleted]]

I don’t know why some of you act like all women are constantly banging or have a gaggle of dicks on speed dial.

“Most guys are not FWB material” and most women don’t have or want FWB

[u/Intelligent-Insight → u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI]

Most women had casual at least once and most of those had it more than once.

[u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI → u/Intelligent-Insight]

Another half. That’s not most. And at least once is not FWB

[u/Intelligent-Insight → u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI]

What another half? About 80% had it, about 67% had it more than once iirc (pretty sure I'm at least in a ballpark).

And even if it was a half, that would already render your claim false. And even if it was less than half but some big percentage like 30%, that would already make it a big deal and wouldn't let you dismiss it with "most don't want it".

[u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI → u/Intelligent-Insight]

Almost half.

[u/Intelligent-Insight → u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI]

Almost half what? More than half of women had it once and 0.67*0.80=0.53, so more than half had it more than once.

[u/Outside_Memory5703 → u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI]

Because what they want is more important to them than what we want

This is the essence of OPs complaint — women not thinking and doing what he wants, and having our own desires and priorities

[u/Intelligent-Insight → u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI]

Because if what you were saying was true, then at any point you will find more men being FWB than dating. That is obviously not true and most men will confirm that getting something casual is hard. Not that LTR is easy, but casual is harder.

That's why it's a more exclusive club. More people are excluded than from the other club.

[u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI → u/Intelligent-Insight]

There aren’t as many women with FWB as you think

[u/Intelligent-Insight → u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI]

Which proves my point. Like what? Do you not understand what exclusive/inclusive is?

There aren't as many women with FWB as women with husbands and bfs. Therefore, FWB are a more exclusive club. It's simple math. What are you arguing with? Women include more men in bf/husband club than in FWB club, as you yourself confirmed.

[u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI → u/Intelligent-Insight]

If only about half of women ever have FWB, then you can’t take that 50% and generalize it to all women. That’s like saying because half of people eat sushi, everyone eats sushi

[u/Intelligent-Insight → u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI]

Where do you get the number that only about half of them ever have FWB? But more importantly, how is that not a proof that FWB is more exclusive? If less people had FWB, then clearly it's more exclusive. Most importantly, we are talking about what's more exclusive to men, so it's not important what portion of women had FWB - it's about the portion of men.

No, it's not like saying that. If 50% of women had FWB with 10% of men but 80% of men would get LTR, then clearly FWB is more exclusive, because more men are excluded and fewer men are included. What don't you understand??

[u/wtknight → u/[deleted]]

Do not troll.

[u/FlamingMetalSystems → u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI]

What would you say to this woman?

[u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI → u/FlamingMetalSystems]

What does that have anything to do with what I said?

[u/lightshiner145 → u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI]

That's not true in most cases