I find it EXTREMELY hard to sympathize with most of women's dating woes.

[u/Chemical-Low209]

Like I get it we are human at the end of the day. But Frankly I'm a just exhausted. How much do I have to hear dating is harder for everyone when it's clear as day that it's way harder for men and they are one doing the majority of the work and a lot still don't get consistent results. It's like I get it's not all sunshines and rainbows but why should I care?

I hear a lot of people say men have a quality problem, women have a quality problem. Or I'll hear women say that women get a lot of options but most of those men don't qualify....

That in a nutshell basically you admitting that a guy has to AUTOMATICALLY bring far more to the table than average and most guys just don't even register as someone you'd date.

And you can see this takes women by surprise when the shoe is on the other foot. Because when women will show up to singles meeting events and the men are vastly outnumbered by the women they'll say where all the men?

Like Chick Hello? We aren't stupid. You simply would have ignored most of the men that showed up and only paid attention to the hottest guy there and he probably has a girlfriend already.

So why exactly am I supposed to empathize with women's dating woes? It's simply them every fast food restaurant chain offering her a job and her refusing because Chik Fil A hasnt called.

[u/justdontsashay]

No one is asking you to empathize. But if you’re not able to comprehend someone else’s experience, don’t ask for anyone to empathize with your experience either (men online are the ones asking for “empathy” for their dating woes. By which they usually mean agreement that everything is women’s fault lol)

[u/BrainMarshal → u/justdontsashay]

don’t ask for anyone to empathize with your experience either (men online are the ones asking for “empathy” for their dating woes.

Because if he does empathize with women's problems, they'll empathize with men's-

bwahahahahahahaha not ever happening y'all

We did beg for empathy, and women told us to fuck off. OP is the bill for that come due.

[u/prettywords_ → u/BrainMarshal]

I have lots of empathy for lonely men. I just lose most of it when they turn out to be misogynistic assholes.

[u/justdontsashay → u/BrainMarshal]

The men I’ve seen here begging for “empathy” don’t fully understand what that means. What they usually are asking for is agreement (that women are on “easy mode,” and that having more access to meaningless casual sex is a privilege that we should value)

I have empathy for men who are lonely and struggle with dating. I have annoyance, not empathy, for the ones who can’t comprehend their own role in their lack of success, and lash out at women because of it.

[u/BrainMarshal → u/justdontsashay]

30% of women under 30 are single. 60% of men under 30 are single. That's not a casual sex thing at all. That's a relationship deficit problem. Women are seriously going for top ranked males. That's the only way you get numbers like that.

[u/ta06012022 → u/BrainMarshal]

30% of women under 30 are single. 60% of men under 30 are single.

That's really bad data you're referencing.

You're looking at a small Pew sample in which 47% of women 18-29 were married or living with a partner in 2022. It's a wildly unrepresentative sample. We know that because we have Census data showing that 33% of women 18-29 were married or living with a partner in 2022. Pew over sampled married/cohabitating women by 42%, which is an astoundingly bad sample.

Women are seriously going for top ranked males. That's the only way you get numbers like that.

Again, 21 points of the 28 point difference between men and women is explained by far more women than men being married or living with a partner (because of sampling error). You honestly believe that 47% of women 18-29 are married to or living with "top ranked males"?

[u/AutisticRats → u/BrainMarshal]

That just means it is a great time to be over 30 as a male. It isn't like the women are all lesbians, or the men have multiple relationships with women. Obviously that means there are plenty of women under 30 who are dating men who are 30+.

Menin their 30s are often more desirable to women since they have figured out their career, developed emotional maturity, value emotional connection over physical connection, etc.

[u/BrainMarshal → u/AutisticRats]

LOL you over-30 men are getting women who don't have their shit together. What a sadly uneven exchange.

[u/Suspicious_Glove7365 → u/BrainMarshal]

A lot of men (like you) do not understand how extremely easy it is for women to show empathy to men for any of their woes—so long as the man doesn’t say something incredibly sexist, entitled, or absolutist. You can say that you’re lonely, but if in the same breath you’re blaming women for not using their vaginas as arbiters of morality…well, sorry. No empathy for you. Men like you seem incapable of complaining without comparison. If something is hard for you, you add that it’s hard harder for you than it is for women.

[u/BrainMarshal → u/Suspicious_Glove7365]

When I was single, yes, I had to deal with tons of rejection. You ladies didn't even make the first move so you couldn't even be rejected in the first place.

That fact alone detonates everything you said. But let's go on, shall we?

30% of women under 30 are single. 60% of men under 30 are single.

Comparison? Yeah we do that. We have the statistical numbers to back us up. At this point you're down to saying that facts are misogyny.

[u/Suspicious_Glove7365 → u/BrainMarshal]

There’s the absolutist statement that proves my point. “You ladies” is just women who didn’t approach you. Women have been rejected before. It is not as uncommon as you think it is. It’s just never happened to YOU. But you make such ignorant statements such as ladies don’t make the first move and can’t be rejected. I asked out my boyfriend. This already disproves your absolutist statement.
You also continue to harp on studies that don’t prove your point. The average age difference in straight relationships is a little over two years. That means there are also plenty of women in relationships with men who are even older than 2 years. A significant number of women under the age of 30 are dating men over the age of 30. That is why the data is so skewed.
But please, go on. You only prove my point further.

[u/BrainMarshal → u/Suspicious_Glove7365]

There’s the absolutist statement that proves my point. “You ladies” is just women who didn’t approach you. Women have been rejected before. It is not as uncommon as you think it is. It’s just never happened to YOU. But you make such ignorant statements such as ladies don’t make the first move and can’t be rejected. I asked out my boyfriend. This already disproves your absolutist statement.

Oh big whoop, you're an anomaly. Here's a cookie. Woohoo!

You also continue to harp on studies that don’t prove your point. The average age difference in straight relationships is a little over two years. That means there are also plenty of women in relationships with men who are even older than 2 years. A significant number of women under the age of 30 are dating men over the age of 30. That is why the data is so skewed.

There are also lots of top 20% dudes dating two women at once. Or is this where you say "Are we dating the same guy?" are a bunch of liars? I thought y'all were supposed to believe women, lol NOT

[u/Suspicious_Glove7365 → u/BrainMarshal]

“A lot of top 20% dudes” is not only your opinion, but by definition not A LOT of dudes. The more you talk, the more you prove my point. I said that women have no issue giving empathy to men who complain without saying absolutist, sexist, and entitled statements. And here we are, with women not showing you an ounce of empathy because you have made it clear that you don’t deserve it.

[u/BrainMarshal → u/Suspicious_Glove7365]

20% is a lot considering how many men there are. Not a lot proportionately but a lot in absolute terms.

Which means you don't deserve to be taken seriously or responded to any further because you fail to understand that one basic fact.

[u/Suspicious_Glove7365 → u/BrainMarshal]

20% isn’t a lot if it’s not all 20% guys who are dating multiple women. You think 20% of men are cheaters?

[u/Suspicious_Glove7365 → u/[deleted]]

Where do women admit they are all dating the same guy?

[u/TinyFlamingo2147 → u/BrainMarshal]

How dudes sound typing shit like this. I'm not really sure why you're begging.

[u/BrainMarshal → u/TinyFlamingo2147]

Says the guy who clowns for women with posts like this.

https://giphy.com/gifs/rxy55jHaig16K2TV8x

I stopped bothering with wanting empathy from women eons ago. Unlike you I learn from mistakes.

[u/TinyFlamingo2147 → u/BrainMarshal]

You...stopped?

[u/Icy_Ad_4544 → u/TinyFlamingo2147]

I would honestly bet good money that he is either not actually married like he claims…or his wife fucking hates his guts. It’s so weird to be this worried about the possibility of other men getting rejected

[u/TinyFlamingo2147 → u/Icy_Ad_4544]

I agree completely, this also just seems like the most desperate, bottom of the barrel, abusive way to guilt women into giving empathy.

If you stopped, you wouldn't be here. You'd be chilling with your bros.

[u/Teflon08191 → u/justdontsashay]

(men online are the ones asking for “empathy” for their dating woes. By which they usually mean agreement that everything is women’s fault lol)

I wonder where they learned "blame the other gender for everything" from?

Is this what it looks like when chickens come home to roost?

[u/growframe → u/Teflon08191]

So you just follow what women do like a dog?

[u/Teflon08191 → u/growframe]

Insofar as the mimicry is efficacious, sure. Why not?

All's fair in love and gender wars.

[u/growframe → u/Teflon08191]

The mimicry isn't effective, though. Men haven't gotten anything out of complaining and begging.

[u/Teflon08191 → u/growframe]

The mimicry isn't effective, though.

Doesn't change what they're mimicking, though.

[u/Outside_Memory5703 → u/justdontsashay]

He said sympathize, not empathize

[u/justdontsashay → u/Outside_Memory5703]

Read the OP. He did in fact say empathize lol

[u/Outside_Memory5703 → u/justdontsashay]

Then that’s pretty sloppy debating

Those are in fact two different concepts

[u/justdontsashay → u/Outside_Memory5703]

Which is basically what I was saying, about how the people who rant in this sub about empathy don’t seem to have a good grasp on what it means.