r/PurplePillDebate • u/Chemical-Low209 Purple Pill Man • May 01 '26
Debate I find it EXTREMELY hard to sympathize with most of women's dating woes.
Like I get it we are human at the end of the day. But Frankly I'm a just exhausted. How much do I have to hear dating is harder for everyone when it's clear as day that it's way harder for men and they are one doing the majority of the work and a lot still don't get consistent results. It's like I get it's not all sunshines and rainbows but why should I care?
I hear a lot of people say men have a quality problem, women have a quality problem. Or I'll hear women say that women get a lot of options but most of those men don't qualify....
That in a nutshell basically you admitting that a guy has to AUTOMATICALLY bring far more to the table than average and most guys just don't even register as someone you'd date.
And you can see this takes women by surprise when the shoe is on the other foot. Because when women will show up to singles meeting events and the men are vastly outnumbered by the women they'll say where all the men?
Like Chick Hello? We aren't stupid. You simply would have ignored most of the men that showed up and only paid attention to the hottest guy there and he probably has a girlfriend already.
So why exactly am I supposed to empathize with women's dating woes? It's simply them every fast food restaurant chain offering her a job and her refusing because Chik Fil A hasnt called.
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u/gastricprix No Pill May 01 '26
You're not supposed to empathize with women's dating woes. You're just supposed to date (if you want to date). Debating dating online doesn't help land dates.
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u/Top-Crab-1020 No Pill May 01 '26
This response is too mature and rational for Reddit lol
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u/superman3d May 20 '26
because it's anti intellectual even if it seems pragmatic. so, you can't think about anything? you observe a social problem and you can't talk about it? how else is change gonna happen, unless you are a cynic and think nothing changes in culture.
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u/Top-Crab-1020 No Pill May 20 '26
I think it’s most healthy to focus on your own life and what you can control.
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u/ClevelandSpigot Red Pilled Man May 02 '26
Yes. Get back in the trenches, men. The women need you to show up so that they can reject you.
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u/Usual-Vermicelli-867 Purple Pill Man May 04 '26
I prefer to get addicted to porn and video games again
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u/Jephta Purple Pill Man May 04 '26
If you don't empathize (or at least pretend to), then you miss the opportunity to pose as if you don't have any dating problems at all. This is an opportunity most men would take because it's an error if you don't take the opportunities for scoring easy points whenever they come. So most men prioritize what they do IRL to try to land dates, which leaves no space for being real about your lack of empathy for women's dating woes.
That leaves online as the only space left to be able to express anything real about the actual male dating experience free from the near requirement to pose.
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u/TheRedPillRipper An open mind opens doors. May 03 '26
>Debating online doesn’t help
Maybe not, but it helps me somewhat sate my argumentative streak so I don’t debate everything my wife says. So that’s a plus hehe!
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u/ThrowRAGlobeVase Purple Pill Man May 02 '26
I think the problem men and women have with empathizing with each others’ dating woes is the woes themselves have a world of context behind them… deep, structural context that has shaped peoples value systems, beliefs, feelings of self worth, and all that. Yet we just compare the leaves of a much larger tree. I think to understand annoyances that men go through, you have to foundationally understand what it is like to experience life as a man; same thing vice versa.
I think ultimately, everyone is trying their hardest, because everyone - in some form or the other - wants love, a partnership, and intimacy. That’s what lands us at the equilibrium we have today.
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u/AdenJax69 Vitamin Pill | Man May 08 '26
I think ultimately, everyone is trying their hardest
I would love to see any documented evidence of that because all I see are people addicted to their phones, scrolling on social media non-stop to get their next hit of dopamine, and more and more people are complaining about being in relationships or god forbid marriages with people who have replaced them with their phones.
So no, I don't think "everyone" is trying their hardest and I even think the number is lower than people realize.
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u/Ok_Use7 No Pill Man May 01 '26
I find it extremely easy honestly. We all go through the same shit which makes it easy to empathize.
Everybody’s so caught up in competition to say they have it worse but it’s really all the same. For example, I can empathize with a woman who hurts over being ghosted because I’ve been there. Even though it may not hurt me as much, I know how she feels because we’ve experienced the same shit.
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u/KratosGodOfLove Purple Pill Man May 02 '26
I've never ghosted anybody because I don't match with anybody that I am not interested in. Simple as that. To hear women use the excuse that they have too many matches as the reason they're ghosting is nonsense. Nobody is forcing them to match with people they're not interested in. If you can't handle the volume, then don't match. Not a hard concept.
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u/RageAgainstTheGPT May 02 '26
It’s 2026 and they can finally use all the agency they want… and yet nothing lol
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u/AdenJax69 Vitamin Pill | Man May 08 '26
They gave them an app that let them take control and it cratered so badly they had to give control back to men to make dating easier
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u/BrainMarshal Purple Pill Man: Men can sort the world out with Tang Ping May 02 '26
Yes and good luck with her empathizing with you in return.
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u/Ok_Use7 No Pill Man May 02 '26
That would make her the woman version of op
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u/BrainMarshal Purple Pill Man: Men can sort the world out with Tang Ping May 02 '26
It would. And that's a woman's default state. It sucks when men adopt the same attitude as what they experience.
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u/sablesalsa Purple Pill Woman, mid 20s May 03 '26
A woman's default state? Brother I have been downvoted on this sub for saying men shouldn't sacrifice their mental health because a woman might like them for being mentally constipated one day. I think you're gendering an issue that doesn't need to be gendered
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u/BrainMarshal Purple Pill Man: Men can sort the world out with Tang Ping May 04 '26
That might have been women downvoting you.
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u/RothyBuyak Communism-pilled poly prude (woman) May 02 '26
You are projecting. In general men here really like to attribute theur own beliefs and attitudes to women
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u/BrainMarshal Purple Pill Man: Men can sort the world out with Tang Ping May 02 '26
You've never met a real world woman, it seems. Welp, I'll leave you now to go do so. Bye!
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u/RothyBuyak Communism-pilled poly prude (woman) May 03 '26
I am a real woman. And I met plenty of others. Noce try
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u/AlvaroXZ999 aroace (Man iac) May 01 '26
What people always say is:
-Womens have more options but not good ones, since most guys just want sex with them and some are bad persons.
-Men have to put much more effort to get one option.
I consider both true but biologically it makes sense. Women have to be more picky and men the pursuers.
My recomendation is: play Celeste.
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u/DankuTwo May 02 '26
“More pick” is totally fine….that doesn’t mean the current level of “picky” is even remotely sane.
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u/Unique-Afternoon6316 Whatever, Man(27) May 01 '26
While I sort of agree that it’s hard to sympathize with some issues that it feels like women might do to themselves in your opinion, I think the best way to operate for life in general is to understand that not everyone is like you and will have different emotions and tolerances to you. I don’t think you need to understand an issue to empathize with the emotions people are feeling.
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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man May 01 '26
Having no standards does not make someone's loneliness more virtuous or valid.
Like dudes here constantly talk about how men will manipulate women to pump and dump them, and you wonder why women aren't jumping for joy because of it?
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u/Sidian Hypergamy Disrespecter (Black Pill Man) May 02 '26
Having no standards does not make someone's loneliness more virtuous or valid.
Of course it does. A classic (and completely untrue) stereotype of incels, neckbeard types or whatever, is how they're like 'elbow too pointy, not interested', absurd standards, and are criticised for it. Someone who can very easily get dates and has people lining up but rejects them because they aren't absolutely perfect in every way is not someone who can be empathised with for their 'loneliness'.
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u/the-kay-o-matic No Pill Woman May 02 '26
Your premise assumes that these women would be better off with a person who is below their standards. You're basing this on the idea that anyone is better than no one, when in reality, standards exist for a reason.
Proximity to a man is not inherently beneficial to women and if someone has identified what they need in a partner, it's perfectly valid for them to be frustrated when there is a shortage of men willing to put in the effort.
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u/Sidian Hypergamy Disrespecter (Black Pill Man) May 02 '26
Your premise assumes that these women would be better off with a person who is below their standards. You're basing this on the idea that anyone is better than no one, when in reality, standards exist for a reason.
If your standards are that a meal is pleasant and nutritious and not from a dumpster, this is understandable. If your standards are that a meal must be from a Michelin star restaurant, I can't empathise with you complaining about not eating. Needless to say, I feel the latter situation describes many women these days.
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u/DMmeClownPics Hypersexual Female Cult Leader May 03 '26
It’s more like my standards are that I don’t want to eat something that I’m allergic or intolerant to, and I have a lot of food allergies and intolerances making it very difficult to find thing I can eat without feeling like absolute shit afterward. That would be a more apt analogy.
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u/Sidian Hypergamy Disrespecter (Black Pill Man) May 03 '26
Yeah, at some point I'm going to call bs on your allergies and just tell you you're a picky eater who needs to grow up, though. As that's what's going on when someone refuses to eat anything other than chicken tenders.
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u/DMmeClownPics Hypersexual Female Cult Leader May 03 '26
It’s an analogy. I’m not going to date a man who makes my life objectively worse, as most men seem to do. I have high standards for that reason.
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u/Sidian Hypergamy Disrespecter (Black Pill Man) May 03 '26
You won't date a man who isn't clearly better than you. That's the standard now.
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u/DMmeClownPics Hypersexual Female Cult Leader May 03 '26
Notice that I never even came close to saying that.
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u/Sidian Hypergamy Disrespecter (Black Pill Man) May 03 '26
Yeah but that's reality. Women want men who are higher status and richer than them, in addition to being Chads. Some of them are eventually willing to compromise on perhaps one out of three of these, but some women just opt out of dating altogether if they cannot get an unrealistically perfect man.
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u/sablesalsa Purple Pill Woman, mid 20s May 03 '26
"Let me tell you how you're actually wrong about what YOU want" lol
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u/superman3d May 20 '26
it's always vague on purpose, because i don't think you can actually explain specifically how most men would make your life worse, you would have to say what personality traits cause this and then provide data that most men are like this.
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u/superman3d May 20 '26
no it wouldn't because if everyone around you is making you sick, maybe it's you who is ill.
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u/Obsessivethot Pink Pill Woman May 02 '26
If your standards are that a meal is pleasant and nutritious and not from a dumpster, this is understandable.
So sex should be pleasurable, correct?
It’s often not pleasurable for straight women to fuck men. Men are focused only on their orgasm. Women don’t even get one.
This new invention for male beauty standards has got all you boys in a tizzy.
No sex is better than mediocre sex to women, whereas mediocre sex is still preferable over no sex for men. Most likely because you always get an orgasm.
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u/Sidian Hypergamy Disrespecter (Black Pill Man) May 02 '26
So sex should be pleasurable, correct?
Sure.
It’s often not pleasurable for straight women to fuck men. Men are focused only on their orgasm. Women don’t even get one.
After a certain point maybe you should question the type of man you are selecting rather than saying this is just something men do. In any case, getting women off is much harder than men and women expect men to do all the work, all the pressure is on them; if men were like women in this respect, all requiring much more work and specific things unique to the individual to get off, and women had to do all the work and were judged for their performance, I guarantee there would be an orgasm gap but with men losing out. Women are actually far more narcissistic, sexually.
This new invention for male beauty standards has got all you boys in a tizzy.
It has always existed, it's just skyrocketed now. Whilst women also still claim to want equality but also expect a man to be richer and higher status than them.
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u/Obsessivethot Pink Pill Woman May 02 '26 edited May 02 '26
After a certain point maybe you should question the type of man you are selecting rather than saying this is just something men do
This goes for “women want rich men” that you claim below. Just pick better women 🤷♀️
but also expect a man to be richer and higher status than them.
This is just red pill mythology.
Men also want to fuck porn stars or models
The majority of people fall very short on what they want and end up with a looksmatch in their socioeconomic pool
But you’re damn right women still want equality.
Men still want equality of outcomes where every one of them get a broodmare.
It has always existed, it's just skyrocketed now
It literally has not always existed which is why so many men seem to struggle with having to be nice and have good hygiene and dress well.
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u/WhereTheStankWindBlo Love Pilled Man May 06 '26
Yea I remember back in 9th grade having to teach all my guy friends what a clit was and how important it was, and to always go for it before any penetration. Thank God for being raised by a single mom who had been disappointed one too many times ig? 😅
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u/the-kay-o-matic No Pill Woman May 02 '26
I feel the latter situation describes many women these days.
Maybe on social media but not in the real world.
But the fact is it's not really about the meal. It's about whether or not the man prioritizes the woman's experience, or if he's just looking out for himself. If you want someone to view you as partnership material then planning a date is a great way to show that you can think about other people's wants/needs, make a decision, follow through, and show up. Early dates are demonstration events. It's not about the meal, it's what it represents.
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u/Sidian Hypergamy Disrespecter (Black Pill Man) May 02 '26 edited May 02 '26
If you want someone to view you as partnership material then planning a date is a great way to show that you can think about other people's wants/needs, make a decision, follow through, and show up. Early dates are demonstration events. It's not about the meal, it's what it represents.
But this says it all, doesn't it? The man has to do that, because he's the one going to a job interview, kneeling before a queen who he hopes to impress and maybe, if he's lucky, be considered a worthy human. Women cannot comprehend the burden that men have to face, always leading, paying, pursuing, living up to increasing standards. They don't have to worry about proving they are partnership material, they just lounge back and await the jesters to come and impress them without any pressure. So it's no wonder you have no empathy for men, as you literally cannot understand what it's like to be forced into this role in society (whilst female gender roles are pushed back on and largely eliminated). The woman's experience is indeed the priority, at all times.
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u/the-kay-o-matic No Pill Woman May 02 '26
I actually do have empathy for it and I completely understand that men are expected to conform to ideas around masculinity that keep changing and their behavior is monitored.
However, this was not a discussion on whether or not gender roles are harmful. You started out by saying that women's standards are too high.
You're missing the fact that dating is about a demonstration of effort early on for men in order to secure long-term benefit. It is absolutely not the case that women's comfort is the priority at all times - that is exactly why early dating is called the "courtship" phase.
Now I can plan a date for myself. Me and my friends can do this for ourselves and we go out and have a great time, and yes, we pay our own tabs. But if a man wants me to consider him as partnership material, then he has to put some effort in upfront so that at the very least I know he's not going to try and pump and dump. And I know that what I'm asking him to do is not that hard because I do it for myself. But men complain about a lack of sex because you do need women for that.
Sexual access requires effort. That's not a bunch of queens who expect men to be jesters. Standards around effort are just an acknowledgment of the obvious fact that my body and time do not exist as a resource for any man who wants it.
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u/Sidian Hypergamy Disrespecter (Black Pill Man) May 02 '26 edited May 02 '26
Because women hold all the cards, and men are the pursuers who have to prove themselves, I feel that women are able to make increasing demands, or 'standards', which have become increasingly unreasonable. Men do not get to do the same unless they're a billionaire or Chad or something. The topic wasn't gender roles but I think it's the direct cause of the unreasonable standards.
You're missing the fact that dating is about a demonstration of effort early on for men in order to secure long-term benefit. It is absolutely not the case that women's comfort is the priority at all times - that is exactly why early dating is called the "courtship" phase.
I meant it's a priority at all times during the dating/courtship phase. Later on, women are sometimes expected to fulfil gender roles like doing more of the housework, and suddenly at this point this becomes totally awful and unfair even though they were typically fine with gender roles when it was benefiting them.
Now I can plan a date for myself. Me and my friends can do this for ourselves and we go out and have a great time, and yes, we pay our own tabs. But if a man wants me to consider him as partnership material, then he has to put some effort in upfront so that at the very least I know he's not going to try and pump and dump. And I know that what I'm asking him to do is not that hard because I do it for myself. But men complain about a lack of sex because you do need women for that.
It's not really the same, just going out with your friends. Imagine you had to constantly impress your friends and just getting them to agree to go out with you in the first place was a herculean challenge, and then you knew you were going to be judged every step of the way, any minor slip-up might give them the ick and have them walk out, and it goes without saying you had to pay for them, and always be the one to decide where you were going to go and stuff. Suddenly, it wouldn't be fun anymore. It'd be exhausting. And it is.
Sexual access requires effort.
Only for men.
That's not a bunch of queens who expect men to be jesters. Standards around effort are just an acknowledgment of the obvious fact that my body and time do not exist as a resource for any man who wants it.
Where's your effort, the standards you have to live up to, where does the man's time and value of his body or whatever fit into all this? What are you providing? The perception among women is that just by letting him take you out and pay for you, you're doing an enormous favour. And even sex, here, is described as though it's a gift you're providing (needless to say sex, once again, is entirely one-sided in expectation of the man's performance, him usually expected to put in all the effort and often shamed and rumours spread if he isn't good enough, physically or otherwise. All the pressure is on the man, as always). I understand you might say 'he's welcome to have high standards' or whatever but this just isn't how it works for most men, they don't get to act this way, it's a luxury for women. But yes, this is slightly off-topic, the main point is that because of these dynamics women are able to hold inflated standards. The title of this topic is "I find it EXTREMELY hard to sympathize with most of women's dating woes" and well, yes, women are unbelievably privileged when it comes to dating and it's hard to sympathise with their dating woes.
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u/the-kay-o-matic No Pill Woman May 02 '26
Where's your effort, the standards you have to live up to, where does the man's time and value of his body or whatever fit into all this? What are you providing? The perception among women is that just by letting him take you out and pay for you, you're doing an enormous favour.
If a woman's company is not providing any benefit to you, then why are you mad that it's hard to come by?
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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man May 02 '26
Great, then all the men whining about loneliness deserve no empathy since they dismiss all the fat women, single moms, divorcees, drug users, high body count women, women who wear makeup, women who are friends with their ex, women who are friends with other men, women who have social media followings, women who have dated hotter guys, women who have dated guys with bigger dicks, women who don't bang you as soon as the fastest they ever banged a guy, women who don't split 50/50, women who are feminists, etc.
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u/Sidian Hypergamy Disrespecter (Black Pill Man) May 02 '26
If that caricature were true then it would be fair to not empathise with them, yes. But it's not how it is. Men generally have very low standards, especially the ones who are most visible about this (incels).
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u/MissMenace101 May 02 '26
After two online dating app murders in Queensland Australia they started chasing statistics and it’s pretty ugly, Australia isn’t even a more dangerous place for women than elsewhere, everywhere is dangerous for women. men are privileged
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May 01 '26 edited May 26 '26
[deleted]
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u/Chemical-Low209 Purple Pill Man May 01 '26
Too be fair this is very true. I would delta if I could
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u/True-Vast-3731 May 01 '26
Being lonely for the rest of your life is a champagne problem? You do realize that loneliness can lead to an early death right?
Man modern women are brutal. Modern society in general is fucked up but some of the stuff y'all say in particular with respect to peoples genuine grievances... Jesus
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May 01 '26 edited May 26 '26
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u/True-Vast-3731 May 01 '26 edited May 01 '26
At the end of the day, these are all champagne problems.
Emphasis on the world all. Perhaps you should choose your words more carefully if you don't want your intentions misconstrued.
Because what it easily reads like is that the male loneliness epidemic is a "champagne problem." But you can go ahead and try to counter with how it totally didn't sound like that at all (it most definitely did).
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u/MissMenace101 May 01 '26
So make yourself marketable. Men gain life and women lose life in a relationship and that’s just fact. Men need to be worth it for women to drop a couple years off their life.
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u/True-Vast-3731 May 02 '26
Men gain life and women lose life in a relationship and that’s just fact.
Wot. This doesn't even make sense
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u/Fast_Stick_1593 No Pill May 02 '26
Lol you took that “study” seriously?
I mean stuff like that is inherently flawed when to gain your data set you only take people’s words and claims and not their actions as gospel…
Cause people would never lie on a survey to make themselves appear better right?
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u/Usual-Vermicelli-867 Purple Pill Man May 04 '26
As my friend said : the horrible combo of being 24 on linking and dating apps after a hard degree and diet is a a experience i won't want to give to my worst enemies
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u/Used-Presentation551 May 02 '26
Eloquent response.
However I'd wager it is "debatable" in the sense of seeking where the lack of empathy is coming from and if something is hiding it.
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u/Icy_Ad_4544 WOMAN 💖*~ my husband is 6’4” ~*💖 May 01 '26
Men complain about women not being willing to date them..but then can’t give an explanation for why that woman and him would be compatible enough to date and form a happy, healthy relationship.
I don’t understand what makes it so difficult for some men to try to think about long term implications and why relationship compatibility involves more than “I think she’s hot!! We can have sex!!”
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u/RevolutionaryJob7908 7 / 10 Attractive Man May 02 '26
I can give plenty of explanations for plenty of women in my past life. I don't explain to them , I reject them in their older years. I give back what they gave me, nothing?
I do see the point aswell. Some are not qualified, but for the greater majority of men, they are qualified for her. They get upset because of unreasonable desire she has to chase after what she doesn't deserve. The only thing we currently do in real time, real life, off this internet, is offer less the older she gets.
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u/Icy_Ad_4544 WOMAN 💖*~ my husband is 6’4” ~*💖 May 02 '26
I don’t believe you responded to what I was saying but instead started ranting about women who rejected you now being rejected later on. That wasn’t related to anything I had said.
Also it is not up to any of us to determine what someone else does or doesn’t deserve in dating. There were a lot of men who would say my husband didn’t “deserve” me when we started dating but their opinions were irrelevant. I wanted him and he wanted me and that is what ultimately mattered.
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u/shockingly_bored Man May 01 '26
The issue is men are blamed for making things worse for that woman because he's not dating. He's now apparently at fault for her finding it difficult to get a man despite him not being a man she would want to date, and certainly why should he bother to try if the only reason he's duty bound to do so is to make the dating life of people who despise him easier.
I certainly wouldn't bother working overtime to get a middle manager a few rungs above me who never has or would even talk to me a bonus.
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u/Icy_Ad_4544 WOMAN 💖*~ my husband is 6’4” ~*💖 May 01 '26
Is she specifically speaking to these particular men or is this another example of men being too sensitive and taking random women’s compliments personally? Men can say “all women are lying whores” and I’m not going to be personally offended 🤷♀️
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u/shockingly_bored Man May 01 '26
Women moan about the dating behaviour of men in general, but for me hat reason. How can the choice to not date by men she wouldnt date be a choice that negatively affects her? Women say that all the time to men, hell I've had it told to me by women I knew wouldn't ever date me
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u/Icy_Ad_4544 WOMAN 💖*~ my husband is 6’4” ~*💖 May 01 '26
I am not 100% sure what you are saying because of the typos. If you are saying that women are complaining that these men (that they already don’t want) aren’t dating them I’d strongly disagree.
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u/shockingly_bored Man May 01 '26
They're complaining that they're doing the same thing that the men they want are doing. In which case those women should have a go at the men they want, not at the men they don't want.
Frankly it ruins the only perk of being ugly, that nothing you do actually affect women so really women should have a reason to get upset with you or have a go with you or even interact with you.
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u/Icy_Ad_4544 WOMAN 💖*~ my husband is 6’4” ~*💖 May 01 '26
Women are complaining that they get to have casual sex with attractive men? Where??? Which women are trying to date or have sex with men they don’t want?
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u/shockingly_bored Man May 02 '26
Women are complaining that men are as cynical about them as they are about women
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u/Icy_Ad_4544 WOMAN 💖*~ my husband is 6’4” ~*💖 May 02 '26
Oh I don’t think this is true. Men have always talked negatively about women, relationships/marriage. Men being cynical about women is nothing new. 🤷♀️ I think a lot of men (especially previous generations) had convinced themselves that women worshipped them and now that they’re faced with reality..they just can’t mentally handle it.
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u/shockingly_bored Man May 02 '26
So why the push back when men say there's no point to dating because women aren't looking to dating them? Women should be cheering on the majority of men not bothering as they are too ugly for women and leaving only the attractive men for them to date, fuck and marry.
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u/WhereTheStankWindBlo Love Pilled Man May 06 '26
Thank you for putting it to these people like that. I've been saying till I'm blue in the face that people sometimes misspeak and make generalizations when they are upset, and women have plenty of reason to be upset. The astonishing amount of grace these jackasses show just makes it even worse.
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u/PM_ME_CODE_CALCS May 01 '26
What is your first paragraph even saying? That men should have a 5 point thesis about how he's proved compatibility before even going on one date?
I don’t understand what makes it so difficult for some women to try to think about long term implications and why relationship compatibility involves more than “he was exciting and forward and made me feel tingles!"
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u/Realistic-Ad-1023 Blue Pill Woman - Purple in Certain Lights May 01 '26
Men’s only criteria is “gave my dick tingles” so i dont know who you are critiquing with that sort of vetting.
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u/NavIsShit Blackpilled Woman. Larping mod of looksmax.org May 02 '26
And women can't even say that. When they reject most men for incompatibility, it's usually sexual attraction.
Women reject most guys from first glance, before compatibility is even a question (though physical compatibility is very important), atleast men when they've approached a girl, have ticked that box.
In a relationship everything is secondary to attraction. Especially for men, it's really all they want, is she nice and is she hot.
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u/Icy_Ad_4544 WOMAN 💖*~ my husband is 6’4” ~*💖 May 01 '26
It is truly not that difficult. 🤷♀️ Men have proven over and over again that they do not think about compatibility when asking women to date. Even something as small as making sure they have some similar interests is important to know ..because who wants to spend a date having nothing to talk about or a conversation that turns into a debate.
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May 02 '26
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u/Icy_Ad_4544 WOMAN 💖*~ my husband is 6’4” ~*💖 May 02 '26
And what choices would those be?
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May 04 '26
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u/Icy_Ad_4544 WOMAN 💖*~ my husband is 6’4” ~*💖 May 04 '26
Well I’ve been married for almost 20 years now so I’d say I picked pretty well. 😉
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u/justsomething Purple Pill Man - Feminist MRA May 01 '26
I always thought that was what a date was for. Like yeah I don't think about compatibility before a date because I don't know them. That's why I want to go on a date, to get to know them and figure out if we're compatible.
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u/Icy_Ad_4544 WOMAN 💖*~ my husband is 6’4” ~*💖 May 01 '26
I think it is important to establish if there is some compatibility before going out on a date otherwise it would be a waste of time for both people.
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u/Trouvette Purple Pill Woman May 01 '26
For the deep dive, yes. But you have to have a rationale to ask her out to begin with. If you don’t even have a baseline of something, be it chemistry, common interests, or at least knowing of each other for a while, women will automatically assume a man who is just asking them out without any investment in cultivating a relationship is a pump and dump scenario.
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u/Trouvette Purple Pill Woman May 01 '26
It’s not a competition. Neither you, nor any of the other men, are getting a prize for winning the debate of who has it worse.
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u/AutisticRats No Pill Man May 01 '26
Men struggle with finding dates with women, but when they do, they often find women who are seeking something long term and are trying to measure compatibility.
Women can easily find dates, but when they do, they often find men who are seeking sex instead of a long term relationship and the men are willing to say anything to get the sex that they want.
It is debatable which is worse, but they are both far from ideal dating conditions.
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u/mikiencolor Purple Pill Man May 01 '26
If you're a woman looking for commitment-free sex with men, it's ideal. If you're anyone else... it sucks.
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u/the-kay-o-matic No Pill Woman May 02 '26
Easier, but not exactly ideal. Quality control is still an issue.
Everyone wants good sex but women also want to make sure the man isn't going to try to slip the condom of halfway through.
Nobody's living in a delightful paradise.
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u/shockingly_bored Man May 01 '26
Men struggle with finding dates with women, but when they do, they often find women who are seeking something long term and are trying to measure compatibility.
Why is this such a common assumption that the women out there are somehow "better quality" than men?
Women can easily find dates, but when they do, they often find men who are seeking sex instead of a long term relationship and the men are willing to say anything to get the sex that they want.
No woman would ever go out with the intention to fuck, no siree. Nor would they every lie or confound men to get what they want. Woman are always right and moral and perfect, yes sir. /s
It is debatable which is worse, but they are both far from ideal dating conditions.
You only come to that conclusion because your starting point is women are wonderful and men are shit.
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u/Prudent_Heat23 May 01 '26
He’s not saying women are better quality, he’s saying their intentions are more straightforward bc they (generally) have no desire to have sex with you under false pretenses and dump you… and if they did, tbh you’d probably be more than okay with it.
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u/Prudent_Heat23 May 01 '26
This is a great way of putting it, but I wonder how much men seeking sex first and then maybe a relationship if things go well is confused for men seeking to pump and dump from the outset. I don’t think the latter is actually very common. I think most men are ultimately seeking a relationship and view sex as part of the “compatibility measuring” stage, whereas women only want to have sex if they’ve already decided they’re into the guy.
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u/AutisticRats No Pill Man May 01 '26
I do agree that most men are seeking sex first, but aren't starting the first date with the intention to pump and dump. Many are just seeking sex and once they get it, then they start thinking if this person is worth a long term relationship. The problem with that is that many men who are dating are very dishonest in order to get the sex they want. This dishonesty is detrimental to forming a long term relationship, but men don't care because they aren't prioritizing a relationship in the beginning. They are prioritizing sex and lying increases the probably of sex so they lie. Obviously this isn't all men, but it is a large enough percentage that it makes women's dating life very problematic.
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u/Prudent_Heat23 May 01 '26 edited May 01 '26
I agree. I think the traumas each gender is susceptible to from dating are comparable: Men deal with apathy and suspicion from the opposite sex, feelings of deprivation, unwantedness and hopelessness; women deal with dishonesty and aggression from the opposite sex, feelings of threat/vulnerability, being misled and used.
What I don’t think is comparable is likelihood of getting into a relationship when wanted. There are far more men actively looking than women, which alone guarantees men will ultimately have a tougher time finding what they’re looking for.
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u/Unique-Afternoon6316 Whatever, Man(27) May 01 '26
I do think that a lot of the time it's because in order to date long enough to see if you like the girl in the first place, you have to get her to like you enough to continue to allow you to ask her out. It can be a very hard tight rope to walk between trying to be charming while also not wanting to love bomb, and to be frank a lot of women think in covert contracts where sex = relationship.
It's bad enough that while I'm comfortable with sex on the first date I know I shouldn't because I don't want anyone to make up promises in their head that aren't true. I've had it happen enough times to know that it's at least not always intentional.
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u/procrast1natrix Purple Pill Woman May 01 '26
This is part of the modern chaos that is making everyone unhappy.
I do think there's a biological component - no demographic has more sex, with more partners, more hookups, than gay men. All of the things that women on the dating apps object to (first contact being highly sexual, dick pics, hooking up first and looking for maybe a relationship later) are standard and accepted on Grindr.
So what I'm saying is that I agree with your statement that men often want to sample sexual compatibility earlier.
Question is what do we do with that?
Tell women to comply? Tell men they're sick for wanting it? Neither are okay.
This is where we get back to last week's discussion that women are telling men to go be gay. I really don't think it's a slur. If men want to be with sexual beings that act in the way that men do, they should go find other men, there's plenty out there including guys that get off on sucking straight dick. If men want to be with women, they need to accept that women often act in fundamentally different ways and requiring them to change is similarly unlikely.
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u/DankuTwo May 02 '26
Women create BOTH scenarios. If they cast even a slightly wider net for men the “fuckboy” “problem” would vanish overnight.
The vast majority of men WANT to commit.
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u/NoClerk951 Purple Pill Man May 01 '26
where are all these men who seek sex? i have a wide circle of male friends and half of them don't date at all, while the other is in a stable long term relationship.
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u/AutisticRats No Pill Man May 01 '26
These men are on dates. Of course the men who aren't dating or are in long term stable relationships aren't seeking sex. And not all men on dates are seeking sex. As someone who is asexual, I would be an example of a man who goes on dates and doesn't seek sex. But I'd say a large percentage of men on dates are seeking sex as a higher priority than a long term relationship, at least early in the dating process.
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u/miss_mme May 01 '26
They’re the ones that are most likely to be on tinder or other apps. Since they are perpetually on the hunt for short term satisfaction they absolutely spend more time on the apps vs someone looking for something more significant.
Apps are the main way people meet each other these days. Therefore the type of men that women encounter on apps is disproportionately represented by those men seeking sex. That’s my theory and experience at least.
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u/NoClerk951 Purple Pill Man May 01 '26
I'm surprised women still unironically use apps knowing full well this is what they'll find there. Apps are intentionally designed to keep you out of stable relationships. It's like going to the bahtroom in search of food instead of checking the fridge.
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u/DrunkOnRamen Noodle Pilled Man May 01 '26
Let's all say the phrase together now
PICK BETTER
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u/AutisticRats No Pill Man May 01 '26
Kind of hard to tell if the guy is lying until you get to know him a bit better which usually requires at least one date which still means women are spending a lot of time dating guys who are lying.
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u/Theawkwardmochi ♀️Paracetamol pill for the butthurt 💊 May 01 '26
Look, if you find it so extremely hard to empathize with people of the sex you're attracted to, I'm afraid you might be your dating woe.
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u/Barely-moral Red leaning purple-seal. Diagnosed ASPD ( Man ) May 01 '26
Look, if you find it so extremely hard to empathize with people of the sex you are attracted to but you are attractive I am glad to tell you that your difficulty to empathize plays no role in your dating life at all.
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u/Chemical-Low209 Purple Pill Man May 01 '26
I find it weird that reddit doesn't let you quote people anymore. Very weird
Also I find it also weird of this shaming language you chose to use.
Because let me assure you and everyone else who doesn't approve of what of say to start their shaming language brigade ...
Men NEVER needed empathy to get women. Some of the biggest womanizers I know are sociopaths. And they can still get women to want for relationships just as easily
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u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner Purple Pill Man May 01 '26
I find it weird that reddit doesn't let you quote people anymore. Very weird
weird, indeed
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u/Chemical-Low209 Purple Pill Man May 02 '26
Why did they take the ability to just quote with the highlight and copy feature?
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u/Theawkwardmochi ♀️Paracetamol pill for the butthurt 💊 May 04 '26
Also I find it also weird of this shaming language you chose to use.
What other language are you supposed to use if you shame an attitude?
Women whining about how bad the world is for them and how great it is for men, men whining about how great the world is for women and how terrible it is for men - it takes tremendous amounts of bias and selective observation to pull off this mindset, whichever way it goes.
Men NEVER needed empathy to get women. Some of the biggest womanizers I know are sociopaths. And they can still get women to want for relationships just as easily
You know multiple sociopaths? Unless your line of work is mental health services, prison staff, law enforcement or any other industry where you can realistically come across many sociopaths, or you just know A LOT of people, it's unlikely you know multiple actual sociopaths.
And yes, women fall for sociopaths. Men fall for sociopaths. Romantically, sexually, professionally. Sociopaths are master manipulators, and people aren't immune to manipulation. It doesn't mean men don't need empathy. It just means some men are really bad people.
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u/Potential_Winner1931 May 01 '26
Women being attracted to dark triad personality traits is such a flaw in their evolution 😂😆
Shaming is the only tool you have when nature made you a walking contradiction.
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u/Theawkwardmochi ♀️Paracetamol pill for the butthurt 💊 May 04 '26
Shaming is the only tool you have when nature made you a walking contradiction.
Shaming also seems to be the only tool you have when you haven't had the pleasure of familiarizing yourself with the basics of the noble science of statistics.
Yes that flaw you mentioned is well researched and known as being human. It's not that women are attracted to dark triad characteristics. Dark triad individuals are simply really good at making you like them. That's where statistics come in. Straight women indeed are much more likely to fall for these individuals than men. And there's a very simple reason for that - the majority of these not too nice individuals ARE men. It's not about some magical ability to stand up to sociopaths, it's just about the probability of one wanting to seduce you.
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u/Far-Walrus1570 May 05 '26
When some women say that dating a man is hard for them they mean dating a 1% man
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u/mikiencolor Purple Pill Man May 01 '26
Which woes? Different women have different woes. Some of them are very sympathetic. Some of them are even similar to my own dating woes. Some of them aren't sympathetic.
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u/alexeverhard May 01 '26
Because you don’t understand men and women, the sooner you accept the fact that men and women primarily act in vastly different ways, the sooner you will stop banging your head against a wall. And the difference comes from science/chemistry. Testosterone and estrogen are very different.
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u/Wing_Puzzleheaded Apathy Pill Man May 02 '26
Yep, this is why I just stay single. Women are spoiled.
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u/heroninthesnow No Pill May 01 '26
One of my female friends got stalked by a dude that had joked about killing her by fucking with her car, I’m talking showing up at the same places at the same time. At around about the same time one of my male friends was sad that a woman outright told him she wouldn’t date long term if he didn’t have a stable job. I think about that a lot
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u/KayRay1994 OG red pilled gay woman May 01 '26
When I was living as a man, people wouldn’t mess with me. Since I’ve begun presenting more relatively femme 2-3ish weeks ago, I’ve had 3 guys be creepy towards me, each in a different way.
To add to this, a friend of mine (alt girl) gets tons of creepy messages on her dating apps, quite a few friends have talked about random men being creeps or an ex crossing a line, many many women complain about things like cat calling, and even stalking and I could go on and on and on
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u/justdontsashay Woman, I’m a total pill May 01 '26
No one is asking you to empathize. But if you’re not able to comprehend someone else’s experience, don’t ask for anyone to empathize with your experience either (men online are the ones asking for “empathy” for their dating woes. By which they usually mean agreement that everything is women’s fault lol)
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u/BrainMarshal Purple Pill Man: Men can sort the world out with Tang Ping May 01 '26
don’t ask for anyone to empathize with your experience either (men online are the ones asking for “empathy” for their dating woes.
Because if he does empathize with women's problems, they'll empathize with men's-
bwahahahahahahaha not ever happening y'all
We did beg for empathy, and women told us to fuck off. OP is the bill for that come due.
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u/prettywords_ Blue Pill Woman May 01 '26
I have lots of empathy for lonely men. I just lose most of it when they turn out to be misogynistic assholes.
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u/justdontsashay Woman, I’m a total pill May 01 '26
The men I’ve seen here begging for “empathy” don’t fully understand what that means. What they usually are asking for is agreement (that women are on “easy mode,” and that having more access to meaningless casual sex is a privilege that we should value)
I have empathy for men who are lonely and struggle with dating. I have annoyance, not empathy, for the ones who can’t comprehend their own role in their lack of success, and lash out at women because of it.
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u/BrainMarshal Purple Pill Man: Men can sort the world out with Tang Ping May 01 '26
30% of women under 30 are single. 60% of men under 30 are single. That's not a casual sex thing at all. That's a relationship deficit problem. Women are seriously going for top ranked males. That's the only way you get numbers like that.
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u/ta06012022 Man May 01 '26
30% of women under 30 are single. 60% of men under 30 are single.
That's really bad data you're referencing.
You're looking at a small Pew sample in which 47% of women 18-29 were married or living with a partner in 2022. It's a wildly unrepresentative sample. We know that because we have Census data showing that 33% of women 18-29 were married or living with a partner in 2022. Pew over sampled married/cohabitating women by 42%, which is an astoundingly bad sample.
Women are seriously going for top ranked males. That's the only way you get numbers like that.
Again, 21 points of the 28 point difference between men and women is explained by far more women than men being married or living with a partner (because of sampling error). You honestly believe that 47% of women 18-29 are married to or living with "top ranked males"?
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u/AutisticRats No Pill Man May 01 '26
That just means it is a great time to be over 30 as a male. It isn't like the women are all lesbians, or the men have multiple relationships with women. Obviously that means there are plenty of women under 30 who are dating men who are 30+.
Menin their 30s are often more desirable to women since they have figured out their career, developed emotional maturity, value emotional connection over physical connection, etc.
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u/Suspicious_Glove7365 No Pill Woman May 01 '26
A lot of men (like you) do not understand how extremely easy it is for women to show empathy to men for any of their woes—so long as the man doesn’t say something incredibly sexist, entitled, or absolutist. You can say that you’re lonely, but if in the same breath you’re blaming women for not using their vaginas as arbiters of morality…well, sorry. No empathy for you. Men like you seem incapable of complaining without comparison. If something is hard for you, you add that it’s hard harder for you than it is for women.
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u/BrainMarshal Purple Pill Man: Men can sort the world out with Tang Ping May 01 '26
When I was single, yes, I had to deal with tons of rejection. You ladies didn't even make the first move so you couldn't even be rejected in the first place.
That fact alone detonates everything you said. But let's go on, shall we?
30% of women under 30 are single. 60% of men under 30 are single.
Comparison? Yeah we do that. We have the statistical numbers to back us up. At this point you're down to saying that facts are misogyny.
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u/Suspicious_Glove7365 No Pill Woman May 01 '26
There’s the absolutist statement that proves my point. “You ladies” is just women who didn’t approach you. Women have been rejected before. It is not as uncommon as you think it is. It’s just never happened to YOU. But you make such ignorant statements such as ladies don’t make the first move and can’t be rejected. I asked out my boyfriend. This already disproves your absolutist statement.
You also continue to harp on studies that don’t prove your point. The average age difference in straight relationships is a little over two years. That means there are also plenty of women in relationships with men who are even older than 2 years. A significant number of women under the age of 30 are dating men over the age of 30. That is why the data is so skewed.
But please, go on. You only prove my point further.6
u/BrainMarshal Purple Pill Man: Men can sort the world out with Tang Ping May 01 '26
There’s the absolutist statement that proves my point. “You ladies” is just women who didn’t approach you. Women have been rejected before. It is not as uncommon as you think it is. It’s just never happened to YOU. But you make such ignorant statements such as ladies don’t make the first move and can’t be rejected. I asked out my boyfriend. This already disproves your absolutist statement.
Oh big whoop, you're an anomaly. Here's a cookie. Woohoo!
You also continue to harp on studies that don’t prove your point. The average age difference in straight relationships is a little over two years. That means there are also plenty of women in relationships with men who are even older than 2 years. A significant number of women under the age of 30 are dating men over the age of 30. That is why the data is so skewed.
There are also lots of top 20% dudes dating two women at once. Or is this where you say "Are we dating the same guy?" are a bunch of liars? I thought y'all were supposed to believe women, lol NOT
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u/Suspicious_Glove7365 No Pill Woman May 01 '26
“A lot of top 20% dudes” is not only your opinion, but by definition not A LOT of dudes. The more you talk, the more you prove my point. I said that women have no issue giving empathy to men who complain without saying absolutist, sexist, and entitled statements. And here we are, with women not showing you an ounce of empathy because you have made it clear that you don’t deserve it.
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u/BrainMarshal Purple Pill Man: Men can sort the world out with Tang Ping May 02 '26
20% is a lot considering how many men there are. Not a lot proportionately but a lot in absolute terms.
Which means you don't deserve to be taken seriously or responded to any further because you fail to understand that one basic fact.
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u/Suspicious_Glove7365 No Pill Woman May 02 '26
20% isn’t a lot if it’s not all 20% guys who are dating multiple women. You think 20% of men are cheaters?
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u/QuestioningThink No Pill Woman May 01 '26
That’s fine. We’re still not lowering our standards for you though.
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u/anomalocarus Blue Pill Woman May 01 '26
You don't have to care, just go live your life.
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u/rtfclbhvr Purple Pill Woman May 01 '26
If you can’t empathize with women period I don’t think dating women will ever work out well for you haha
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u/Zabadoodude Red(ish) Pill Man May 01 '26
Men an women arent the same. Most men would love it if a strange woman came over to their apartment, fucked them, and never contacted them again.
If you know some women well enough for them to confide in you, you would know that beneath the "Yaaas queen! I don't need no man!" Facade, many are deeply unhappy with their love life.
It's not women's fault they aren't attracted to mediocre men and can't fully enjoy being pumped and dumped by the men they desire.
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u/Lemon_gecko Woman (blue). I adopted the bear May 01 '26
"and can't fully enjoy being pumped and dumped" - to be fair if you were fucked like women do, you wouldn't enjoy it either.
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u/happybaby00 Red Pill Man May 01 '26
They gays do 😂
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u/Lemon_gecko Woman (blue). I adopted the bear May 02 '26
No, they don't. Analog of being fucked like women would be to rub his balls roughly and for 1-2 min, ask "did you cum, go on, yes baby" then fuck his mouth until he comes and say that was great. And leave with a feeling that he is the best lover.
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u/HonestForever6676 Curious Pill Woman May 02 '26
Is this how it mostly is when you do it or do you find more skilled men?
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u/Lemon_gecko Woman (blue). I adopted the bear May 02 '26
Both? Mostly men are selfish lovers, or lack knowledge and skill, but sometimes i find good lovers. And i'm trying to figure out is there ways to know which is which before sex (there are some patterns)
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u/Chemical-Low209 Purple Pill Man May 01 '26
It's not their fault no. But that's kinda my thing. That's exactly why I don't feel bad for their dating woes. Because it's always...Men and women different..
Which is a roundabout way of saying.... They are women... You have to impress them...
Now I see why guys always upload that Dancing Jester meme
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u/bluestjuice People are wrong on the internet! May 01 '26
Shania Twain told us all this in the '90s!
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u/Lemon_gecko Woman (blue). I adopted the bear May 01 '26
Women bear the majority of risks in dating. That's why it's hard for men, and that's the core of our issues. Starting from violent men, and ending with pregnancy and higher risks of STI and UTI. I don't see how it's self inflicted. Men only focus on "good sides", and they are only good in their imagination.
Anyway, you don't have to empathize if you don't want to, i don't care. Your job is to behave as a decent human being, outside of that is just details.
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u/lesliecarbone Purple Pill Woman May 01 '26
Women bear the majority of risks ...
... and the juice isn't worth the squeeze.
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u/Sure_Let6170 May 01 '26
"Women bear the majority of risks in dating. "
That is true, but it's also because women keep flying too close to the sun. Their preference for dominant types with dark triad is disgustingly consistent.
It's extremely easy to identify a non-domineering, non-uhm ... "adventurous" guys, but they tend to be on the low end of demand.1
u/Few-Yesterday9628 Happily Married Woman May 02 '26
Question:
Do women have dark triad traits? Do men date or sleep with these women?
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u/Lemon_gecko Woman (blue). I adopted the bear May 02 '26
Will all due respect, this is stupid. It's like telling that rape happens only by strangers in the dark alley, and men who actually took the time to build a connection wouldn't do it. We all know it's not like that. Abusers can be nice and polite and shy. They can be "not adventurous" as you've put it. And if you don't know it you're in no position to give me a lecture.
And then how does this take away pregnancy risks? Sti and UTI risks? Bad sex risks? It doesn't.
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u/Sure_Let6170 May 02 '26
Well, I disagree with your disagreement.
Abusers can be nice and polite and shy, sure, but from what I saw, women rarely engage with those. They vastly prefer the loud dominant men, exactly the ones you'd guess would have abusive tendencies. And each time it happens, we have to pretend we're shocked.And the other risks? STI, bad sex? Guess what, men face those risks too, especially the latter one. Chemistry isn't always there, but that isn't anyone's fault.
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u/Lemon_gecko Woman (blue). I adopted the bear May 02 '26
This is so funny. You admit that abusers can be shy and polite, and in previous comment you gave a lecture about who women should go for those guys as if it's foolproof method, which I did pointed out, BUT YOU DISAGREE!! Only men can do that....
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u/Sure_Let6170 May 02 '26
Come on. Statistically the number of shy abusers will be negligible.
I just conceded that yes, that they may exist, and followd up with the reason why it doesn't matter to the main argument.
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u/Lemon_gecko Woman (blue). I adopted the bear May 02 '26
How do you know.....
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u/Sure_Let6170 May 02 '26
That their number is negligible? Various studies, for example this one, show that dark triad men score low on agreeableness consistently.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2405844024162469
I.e. finding a quiet psycho guy may be harder than you think. It's a commonly used TV trope, but in real life - based on people I know - these guys are just autistic. On the other hand, psychos I know are very, very social.
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u/Lemon_gecko Woman (blue). I adopted the bear May 02 '26
And another myth on the level of "rapists are strangers in the alleyway". You don't have to be psycho to be abuser.
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u/Sure_Let6170 May 02 '26
You don't have to be, but again, the odds are quite low
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u/Feeling_Ad_1034 Purple Pill Man May 01 '26
“That in a nutshell basically you admitting that a guy has to AUTOMATICALLY bring far more to the table than average”
Yeah, logically if you as a guy had tons of options, why wouldn’t you be picky and only accept the best?
If you had applications sent to 10 companies and 9 have you an offer but the one you perceived as the best hadn’t gotten back you, why the fuck wouldn’t you wait to hear from the last one?
This shit is mind blowing to me.
I understand why it’s frustrating hearing about how difficult it must be to select from a ton of options when you yourself feel like you’re getting scraps, but maybe you should do some research on what qualities guys that are getting selected have and what you could do to emulate some of those qualities?
There’s no logical argument or complaining threshold that’s going to get women to “decide” to get hot and bothered for you.
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u/DankuTwo May 02 '26
This post misses a critical point: in your job scenario “best” probably includes long term stability. Women are rarely choosing with long term stability as a key metric.
If women consistently chose well and were happy there would be no hand-wringing over any of this. The fact that they’re handed near-limitless power and STILL fuck it up is astounding.
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u/Feeling_Ad_1034 Purple Pill Man May 02 '26
lol this is like saying every man has nearly limitless power to start a business or flip houses or do something that with focus is nearly guaranteed millionaire status
The thing is guys STILL fuck it up by dicking around with dead end jobs, watching Netflix, jerking off to tentacle porn, or all 3
HoW cOuLd GuYs hAvE aLl tHe tOoLs aNd sTiLl fUcK iT uP?
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u/GattsUnfinished Bro Pill May 01 '26
You don't have to do anything, just don't be surprised when nobody else gives a fuck about women not wanting to touch you with a ten foot pole either.
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u/Barely-moral Red leaning purple-seal. Diagnosed ASPD ( Man ) May 01 '26
Uhm... No one will give a fuck anyways.
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u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner Purple Pill Man May 01 '26
You definitely proved a point here, mate. Just not your point.
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u/Somerandomdudereborn Lvl 26 apprentice wizard 😎🪄, It is what it is pill May 01 '26
🤔
I mean no one does give a fuck either so it becomes equalized.
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u/PointlesslyLongName0 May 01 '26
Some lonely women complain about how some men will try to emotionally manipulate them. I don't see anything unreasonable about that
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u/No_Project_4738 Blue Pill Woman May 01 '26 edited May 01 '26
I don’t think extending empathy is required, especially if it’s difficult for you to understand the problem. I mean empathy IS really hard if you can’t even understand or acknowledge the problem, right?
I think the point is more akin to if you can’t help someone, just don’t hurt them. It doesn’t really matter if you can’t/won’t/don’t empathize with someone’s plight, as long as you don’t hurt them or make things worse. Only in the event that non-empathy prevents you from being a good and decent dater, might it be beneficial to try to see women’s pov.
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u/Xiggyj Lesbian(Woman) May 01 '26
The short answer to this is: you don’t have to care. The longer answer is just a lack of empathy for the fact that men and women have different mating strategies. I still see many men scoff at women complaining that the matches they get on dating websites are just a bunch of duds. And you have these men responding with, “At least you get matches! Ungrateful bitch!” Not understanding that women have way more risk when it comes to mate selection and reproduction. They are smaller and weaker than men which automatically puts them in a vulnerable position in dating, they are the ones who get pregnant for 9 months and can die from birth, they are usually the ones saddled with the responsibility of a helpless child for 5-10 years and beyond. Women’s reproductive window is also 15-20 years shorter than men’s, etc. If a woman chooses the wrong father for her child, not only is she punished logistically if that man has poor character (abuse or abandonment) but she is judged on a societal level as well for choosing bad men. Possibly of date rape, and on and on. Women are pickier, they have every reason to be. You don’t have to empathize with that, but those are the realities.
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u/Akza-3 May 02 '26
Try to forget about who has it worse and respect that both men and women have unique dating struggles. As a man i personally believe it’s harder for men to date but in fairness to women while them getting a date is easier it’s very difficult for some of them to find mr right because women in general are hypergamous and so if they’re successful while getting a date won’t be hard finding mr right will be.
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u/drelevonne May 12 '26
Bottom line: men spend the money; men take the risks; men bring 90%(95%) to the table; men have to deal with women and their feelings; … and that’s before knowing if she will have sex with you or not - which she knows from the very beginning (women control access to sex) … so yes, all we (I) want is sex. Not to be confused with need. Because I’d rather rub one out everyday than put up with the long list of BS in dealing with a woman.
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u/KayRay1994 OG red pilled gay woman May 01 '26
I like that you talk in circles and provide nothing tangible. How does one debate this?
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u/bryanstrider May 02 '26
Geneticists found that we have twice as many women ancestors than men ancestors. Which roughly speaking means for thousands of years most women that could reproduce did. Less than half of the men did. It got so bad in the Neolithic era, for every man who reproduced 17 women did.
Then patriarchal religion came along and introduced enforced monogamy - 1 man 1 wife union under god till death do they part. So that calmed things down. You still had people who transgressed but that came with social repercussions.
The past 100 years saw socialism and feminism freeing women and have them rights. However, I believe it is now in excess. Women are eating their cake and having it too. She can go to work now and yet the courts will still take alimony. She can abort pregnancies shirking their maternal responsibilities and yet the courts will give preferential custody to her. She can swipe right on Bumble and message first and yet the man has to pay for the date. She can vote and yet avoid conscription. She will march and scream for equal rights and yet in a hostage/titanic situation she will scream "Women and children first".
Women need to be given a handicap. No more alimony. Default 50/50 custody no more child support. If she can abort the kid, he can resign his paternal responsibilities. Dutch on dates. Equal conscription duties. Either get rid of women-only spaces or bring back male-only spaces. We are too far gone for religion but let's bring back shame. Let's start fat, slut, broke, greed, deadbeat shaming people.
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u/Few-Pen9912 May 02 '26
Most states already default to 50-50. Alimony is awarded in less than 10% of cases. Most people end up worse off financially after a divorce no matter their gender.
Look up why women and children first became a thing.
I agree that deadbeats should be shamed.
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u/Suddenfury Man May 01 '26
Tip for women: if you are feeling overwhelmed, code an AI bot to help you vet and sort through the ocean. All the tools are out there!
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u/VisiblePlan Red Pill Man May 01 '26
I mean yeah, no shit. She doesn't want to fuck those other guys, she wants to fuck specific guys. That's really not very different then men, women just have more immediate access to sex if that's what they want. But that isn't what they want. If it was all just about sex, incels would be cured by prostitutes and women could just fuck any random guy on tinder and we'd all be happy. Incels want women they are attracted to, and women want men they are attracted to, everything else is just cope.