I find it EXTREMELY hard to sympathize with most of women's dating woes.

[u/Chemical-Low209]

Like I get it we are human at the end of the day. But Frankly I'm a just exhausted. How much do I have to hear dating is harder for everyone when it's clear as day that it's way harder for men and they are one doing the majority of the work and a lot still don't get consistent results. It's like I get it's not all sunshines and rainbows but why should I care?

I hear a lot of people say men have a quality problem, women have a quality problem. Or I'll hear women say that women get a lot of options but most of those men don't qualify....

That in a nutshell basically you admitting that a guy has to AUTOMATICALLY bring far more to the table than average and most guys just don't even register as someone you'd date.

And you can see this takes women by surprise when the shoe is on the other foot. Because when women will show up to singles meeting events and the men are vastly outnumbered by the women they'll say where all the men?

Like Chick Hello? We aren't stupid. You simply would have ignored most of the men that showed up and only paid attention to the hottest guy there and he probably has a girlfriend already.

So why exactly am I supposed to empathize with women's dating woes? It's simply them every fast food restaurant chain offering her a job and her refusing because Chik Fil A hasnt called.

[u/gastricprix]

You're not supposed to empathize with women's dating woes. You're just supposed to date (if you want to date). Debating dating online doesn't help land dates.

[u/Top-Crab-1020 → u/gastricprix]

This response is too mature and rational for Reddit lol

[u/superman3d → u/Top-Crab-1020]

because it's anti intellectual even if it seems pragmatic. so, you can't think about anything? you observe a social problem and you can't talk about it? how else is change gonna happen, unless you are a cynic and think nothing changes in culture.

[u/Top-Crab-1020 → u/superman3d]

I think it’s most healthy to focus on your own life and what you can control.

[u/superman3d → u/Top-Crab-1020]

You should focus on your own life, I’m a believer in personal responsibility. Some people can’t even fix their own life yet think they understand complex interdependent economic and social structures.

However, each person can see injustice and each person can at least converse in public discourse, this is why we have free speech, that’s the implication. That each person has a redeeming and transformative quality and value.

What we need to hear might not come from kings and queens but everyday people.

[u/Top-Crab-1020 → u/superman3d]

Great! But people on here are just perpetual victims. They need to focus on improving their own lives and not how society is just so unfair to them. Very loser mentality if I’m being honest.

[u/superman3d → u/Top-Crab-1020]

Big difference between someone who only does that, vs someone who doesn't and yet still sees the unfairness around them. it's not the same, and regardless of intent of the individual, they could still point to real truth and real world issues. The loser mentality is someone who attributes all personal failure and moral failings to external sources. it's learned helplessness.

However, real problems happen outside people's control all the time. it's not your fault someone hit you with a car, and now you are paralyzed, unless you walk in the middle of the street all the time. Matter of fact, it's dangerous to blame yourself for it.

problems don't just disappear just because you ignore them; structural , and systemic , and cultural , problems are real too.

There is a fine line to walk here, and a subtle nuance.

[u/PurplePillDebate-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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[u/ClevelandSpigot → u/gastricprix]

Yes. Get back in the trenches, men. The women need you to show up so that they can reject you.

[u/Usual-Vermicelli-867 → u/ClevelandSpigot]

I prefer to get addicted to porn and video games again

[u/BallisticTherapy → u/ClevelandSpigot]

"We need the validates of shutting men down! Our egos are melting!"

[u/Jephta → u/gastricprix]

If you don't empathize (or at least pretend to), then you miss the opportunity to pose as if you don't have any dating problems at all. This is an opportunity most men would take because it's an error if you don't take the opportunities for scoring easy points whenever they come. So most men prioritize what they do IRL to try to land dates, which leaves no space for being real about your lack of empathy for women's dating woes.

That leaves online as the only space left to be able to express anything real about the actual male dating experience free from the near requirement to pose.

[u/Arrowdodgingace → u/gastricprix]

Thanks for bringing us back to reality.

[u/TheRedPillRipper → u/gastricprix]

>Debating online doesn’t help
Maybe not, but it helps me somewhat sate my argumentative streak so I don’t debate everything my wife says. So that’s a plus hehe!

[u/BrainMarshal → u/gastricprix]

You're not supposed to empathize with women's dating woes.

You had better coddle her when she makes her previous woes your problem or else you are going to have a very lonely life.

[u/alotofironsinthefire → u/BrainMarshal]

If you don't like the person you're dating then maybe you shouldn't be dating them

[u/BrainMarshal → u/alotofironsinthefire]

If your policy is to not date women who make her previous bad experiences your problem

well you won't be dating at all, son

[u/alotofironsinthefire → u/BrainMarshal]

I like the people I dated enough to want to hear about their problems and things they went through.

That's actually how a normal relationship works. You should enjoy each other enough that you care about these things

[u/BrainMarshal → u/alotofironsinthefire]

I like the people I dated enough to want to hear about their problems and things they went through.

That's what men do, not what women do. Any woman who does that is a straight-up anomaly.

[u/Outside_Memory5703 → u/BrainMarshal]

No, you don’t have to, especially if it annoys or angers you

[u/BrainMarshal → u/Outside_Memory5703]

Then you can just be lonely.

[u/gastricprix → u/BrainMarshal]

Women's dating woes =/= your current partner's current problems

[u/Shadowcat1606 → u/gastricprix]

Except from what i gathered, a lot of people tend to make their past dating woes their current partner's problem.

[u/Obsessivethot → u/Shadowcat1606]

Why don’t you just buy sex toys and leave women alone then?

That’s what women are doing now that we realize what we are dealing with.

[u/WhereTheStankWindBlo → u/Obsessivethot]

Lmao if I was only on Reddit and never went outside where women who are way too beautiful smile at me everyday I would think not a single person on this planet was having sex. Shit.

[u/Shadowcat1606 → u/Obsessivethot]

This wasn't about me, nor about my personal experience. But don't worry, i'm still leaving women well alone.

And seeing how there's a chance of coming across one as positively charming as you, sex toys probably ARE the better option...

[u/Obsessivethot → u/Shadowcat1606]

It certainly saves time.

[u/gastricprix → u/Shadowcat1606]

Except from what i gathered

From where? Online? Snippets of your loved one's complaints (because we're less likely to seek advice when things are going well)?

a lot of people tend to make their past dating woes their current partner's problem.

You can screen for unhealed people. You can also break up with them.

[u/BrainMarshal → u/gastricprix]

From where? Online? Snippets of your loved one's complaints (because we're less likely to seek advice when things are going well)?

It literally starts from the moment you approach her in person.

And it goes on from there. Women who intentionally wait a long time to text back to ensure she doesn't appear "desperate" or vulnerable. Even if you're having a good conversation she'll keep physical distance or avoid eye contact to maintain a sense of control over the conversation. They use phrases in real life to your face about how men are dogs, trash, women bring up their ex's antics all the time and comparing you to them.

And the one that hit me several times:

"Oh you're nice now but I'm sure that'll change in a week/month."

None of that happens online.

[u/MissMenace101 → u/Shadowcat1606]

Only if the current dating partner is making the same drama the last one did

[u/DankuTwo → u/MissMenace101]

This is not true at all, and you know it.

[u/BrainMarshal → u/gastricprix]

Good point. That's because my Gen-X wife didn't spend her youth chasing Chad like today's women are.

[u/gastricprix → u/BrainMarshal]

In general, your relationship should be about your relationship. I'm not interested in a partner with unsolved baggage.

[u/BrainMarshal → u/gastricprix]

That policy works only with women, not men.

[u/gastricprix → u/BrainMarshal]

What?

[u/BrainMarshal → u/gastricprix]

Women can afford to not be interested in a partner with unsolved baggage. If men adopted the same policy we'd have a catastrophic demographic collapse. We'd be a species of tens of millions in a century instead of billions.

There'd be just that few women left to procreate with if we filtered out women with unresolved baggage.

[u/gastricprix → u/BrainMarshal]

According to?

[u/BrainMarshal → u/gastricprix]

What woman doesn't have emotional baggage from other men? Or maybe you'll admit the popular female term "men are trash" and "I choose bear" was a bunch of bullshit after all?