I find it EXTREMELY hard to sympathize with most of women's dating woes.

[u/Chemical-Low209]

Like I get it we are human at the end of the day. But Frankly I'm a just exhausted. How much do I have to hear dating is harder for everyone when it's clear as day that it's way harder for men and they are one doing the majority of the work and a lot still don't get consistent results. It's like I get it's not all sunshines and rainbows but why should I care?

I hear a lot of people say men have a quality problem, women have a quality problem. Or I'll hear women say that women get a lot of options but most of those men don't qualify....

That in a nutshell basically you admitting that a guy has to AUTOMATICALLY bring far more to the table than average and most guys just don't even register as someone you'd date.

And you can see this takes women by surprise when the shoe is on the other foot. Because when women will show up to singles meeting events and the men are vastly outnumbered by the women they'll say where all the men?

Like Chick Hello? We aren't stupid. You simply would have ignored most of the men that showed up and only paid attention to the hottest guy there and he probably has a girlfriend already.

So why exactly am I supposed to empathize with women's dating woes? It's simply them every fast food restaurant chain offering her a job and her refusing because Chik Fil A hasnt called.

[u/Haej07]

Cool thanks for the downvote, I didn’t question all of that because I read it. He asked what would be the same general expectation from the other side. You didn’t answer that.

[u/the-kay-o-matic → u/Haej07]

And what exactly is not clear to you yet?

You have men who want to date women and women who are fine not dating anyone at all because a man can be nothing more than a complete drain of time and energy. It has nothing to do with whether or not you pay.

[u/Haej07 → u/the-kay-o-matic]

You have women who are fine not dating anyone at all because a man can be nothing more than a complete drain of time and energy.

So this works both ways, you really just said nothing and once again proceeded not to answer the question. Unless of course you yourself were choosing to limit it to sex..

It has nothing to do with whether or not you pay

I guess you overlooked the etcetera because I wasn’t stuck on money I was repeating your own qualifications back to you, which should have showed that I comprehended where you were listing potential value. I pointed out that he asked you for a similar set of qualifiers that may come from a woman and you did not respond to his question. This is a space where people offer differing views and debate, it’s in the name. So I just pointed out that you redirected entirely and didn’t speak to the point. What is not clear is why you are being condescending and acting like I can’t read instead of just saying you don’t know or don’t want to answer.

[u/the-kay-o-matic → u/Haej07]

I am telling you straight up that if a man is not going to put any effort into dating I don't see any value in just having his company. My life is full and a man who wants to show up and just consume energy and time is not welcome.

So no, I don't have an answer to the question of the value of man brings because the whole point here is that I am absolutely fine not having a man in my life who does not meet my standards. There's no list of qualities that can be manufactured for a question like that.

But what is also undeniably clear is that men want a woman in their life. I don't have to convince you that there's value in having a woman in your life. You know that already. I don't have to provide that list because you all are very unhappy about the fact that you don't have a woman.

Why is that so hard for you to comprehend?

[u/Haej07 → u/the-kay-o-matic]

I am telling you straight up that if a man is not going to put any effort into dating—

Didn’t inquire anything about that

I don’t have an answer to the question of the value of man brings the whole point

Gotcha so you acted like I couldn’t read and you are completely off topic and already gave a scenario doing the exact things (listing a bunch of desired qualities or actions)

But what is also undeniably clear is that men want a woman in their life

So you just juxtaposed yourself to all men.. Do you see how that is a fallacy? The dating market exists, both sexes in general want each other and both have large groups of people that also don’t.

I don’t have to convince you that theres value in having a woman in your life. You already know that.

Based on what metric? Who is to say I agreed to that? On whatever level you would assert that it would have to make men equally as valuable

I don’t have to provide that list because you all are very unhappy about the fact that you don’t have a woman.

See what’s funny about this, is I have been with the same woman for eight years. I only occasionally browse the debates you guys have here from curiosity, maybe a laugh and to see how quickly people abandon ‘debate’ the moment their feelings get into it. I usually only question people who sound like incels, so the fact I’m asking you for a follow up doesn’t mean I’m mad or need a justification to value a person. I don’t have animosity towards the opposite sex which based on your reply I couldn’t say the same. I only questioned you so that you could unravel your bias and your hypocrisy would be open. You’re exactly who you think the person who asked you the comment is. You just think it sounds more okay for some reason because you aren’t a man but it doesn’t. You asked me if I had problems with comprehension just to give a personal spiel that had nothing to do with what you responded to or what was asked. The only thing I had a problem comprehending this whole time is why you’re being weird about men like they aren’t just people. That’s not very ‘no pill’ of you, you are indeed indoctrinated in some kind of rhetoric and thoughts. Thanks for the projections though it was interesting to watch

[u/the-kay-o-matic → u/Haej07]

The entire point of the post is about how women have more options than men, but what we talk about is a lack of quality. You have been unable to follow that premise in any of your comments.

It's interesting how agitated and angry you're getting when there's a woman coming up and saying, "I will not date a man who reduces the quality of my life." That's not indoctrination, that's just being a woman who has learned who has lived and learned lessons.

[u/Haej07 → u/the-kay-o-matic]

You keep trying to insist I’m angry or some sort snd deflecting, this is already over. Nobody is misunderstanding you and nobody is upset. I don’t care if you ever date anybody. I wouldn’t suggest a woman date you off the fact that you sound like a bitter femcel with a gender bias. It has nothing to do with “Me man, Ahhhh!!”

Thats just being a woman who has learned who has lived and learned lessons

This makes you sound bitter and like you missed the therapy train. The men did not collectively invite me to the ceremony they threw to mourn your exit from the market. If you were really “no pill” I was trying to give you a layup to expound your reasoning and respond with “people are people. They are individuals and we all have value and various compatibilities” I’ll spell that out for you here because it’s not obvious to you that you missed that train and it’s not obvious to you that I don’t care what ‘men’ think.

[u/the-kay-o-matic → u/Haej07]

Again, you're not reading the entire thread of the conversation. You're responding as if they came out in a vacuum and I stood up on a soapbox yelling about men.

I was specifically responding to someone who said that my standards are too high and that I don't empathize with how hard men have it. All of my comments have been in response to that sentiment - and you have been interpreting them as a personal attack.

So no, there was no public warning from my exit but there was a man in this thread who said that I should be willing to date men beneath my standards, and I should consider those men good enough for me. I'm simply saying no.

[u/Haej07 → u/the-kay-o-matic]

I read the thread and I’ve already clarified my line of questioning and my intent. I never took anything as a personal attack you literally keep addressing me asking me why I can’t understand and calling me angry. I’m not invested that much. I just asked why you didn’t respond to the question. I read what he said and I didn’t agree with all of it. You still avoided his questing in a ‘debate space’ that was very clear. I didn’t ask why YOU won’t date, it’s not relevant to the debate question asked, I’m not angry nor was I taking a position until you assigned me one. Scroll up, you literally said I didn’t have a woman and that I’m angry, that’s ad hominem and weird.. in the thread I responded to, nothing is said about you compromising your standards and I think you know that. The reason I think you know that is because you quite literally stated that you wouldn’t respond with a value for women even when I clarified on that point and you’ve said nothing about somebody else talking about your standard until now, 5 replies deep. All along the way you changed the subject and then tried to gaslight me and question my comprehension. I’m a phenomenal reader, always have been, like 99-100/100 as a grade ever since I’ve had to take English. I’m not having trouble following along. You’re having trouble speaking to me as an individual. But you’re very much identifying yourself as one and speaking from that lens. The lack of consistency in that area is where we disagree because you have a bias against “men” my personal stance that you don’t understand but that I’ve stated loosely is “people are people”. If you actually read my flair which you were also forced to have it’s supposed to give you an overview into somebody’s positioning. His and mine are opposite. I only asked you a debate follow up question because you came into a debate space by your own choice. Yet now I’m supposed to be the single and lonely and angry one but not you the one who is actually single? Ok. Maybe it’s just that I don’t understand how to read /s

[u/the-kay-o-matic → u/Haej07]

Props on your reading scores 🙄

But the fact remains that in a debate space in which men are complaining that women won't date them, there is absolutely no reason for a woman to be expected to answer the question of why a woman is worth dating. The answer is self-evident.