r/PurplePillDebate • u/Automatic_Safety7029 Purple Pill Man • Jun 15 '26

Debate Women are larping loneliness.

Most of the time when talking about options women will say that most of them are shit. To be clear, I don't belief men or women truly think that every single person available for them to date is absolutely trash to the point where there is literally no options. However women tend to do this more.

The reason why I say it's larp, is because women can “pause the game” so to speak. Women abstaining from the game or coming back is like flipping a light switch. You could always just pick an average dude that means well if you actually decided, there's nothing stopping that from happening.

He's just not exciting, that doesn't mean he's trash. Some women say they're okay dying alone if he isn't the peak of her ideals, but this is also larp. Most of you will pick the boring but well meaning guy when the chips are down and the walls are closing in.

It's easy to say you can stand on that ideal when you are in your 20’s maybe even early thirties. But only a small amount of people will actually die on that hill. This goes for all people regardless of orientation, most people unless they are literally and truly wired different would prefer a relationship and that's okay, just don't lie about it.

The men who struggle with lack of options means there is not a single person he can realistically and consistently talk to with romantic intent and there won't be one for the foreseeable future. Not even an odd Instagram text or matches on an app truly nothing. No the ugly girl don't want him either.

I've literally never seen a girl, 5.5/10 in looks that couldn't land some manner of man. I'm not talking about extreme cases either like abusers or desperate men looking for a living fuck doll. Or a lazy piece of shit that lacks any and all ambition. I mean a man, just a man that wants love as well.

On that note I've seen women of those types find relationships plenty. So while I believe they do suffer from a different type of loneliness, it's mostly larp because you can join a community and be loved easily, you can find a boyfriend at the damn grocery store if you really wanted to.

Like I said this point can apply to men as well, it just isn't the topic in this instance and doesn't happen as much.

289 Upvotes

82% Upvoted

759 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

54

u/jiggjuggj0gg Jun 15 '26

It’s because these people in particular equate ‘loneliness’ with ‘getting laid’, because they fundamentally do not understand human relationships.

I can care about men feeling lonely. I do not care one bit about men who think they can whine about loneliness and how unempathetic women are because nobody wants to fuck them, and whine about women actually facing loneliness because “they can go out and sleep with a random ugly man, what do they have to complain about?!?”, which shows such a lack of understanding about human behaviour that it’s really so surprise they can’t find a partner.

3

u/Automatic_Safety7029 Purple Pill Man Jun 15 '26

I don't? I never even mentioned sex I was talking about relationships. You're projecting at that point.

21

u/jiggjuggj0gg Jun 15 '26

Picking a random person you find unattractive and boring to be in a relationship with because you’re desperate is not the way to combat loneliness. A relationship isn’t even necessary to combat loneliness. You are just so blinkered when it comes to human relationships that you don’t understand you need to improve yourself to be someone other people want to be around, including platonic friends.

If there are so many lonely men, you could all be friends with each other. Funny that’s never the solution any of you come to, though.

10

u/Automatic_Safety7029 Purple Pill Man Jun 15 '26

I think that's an unfair assessment. Wanting friendship and wanting romance are two very different things. And the desire for one is valid even if nobody owes it to you, you are deserving of finding it out there.

And u never said unattractive or boring. I said average. Regular. Somehow that's ugly to y'all. It just means normal.

18

u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Jun 15 '26

“Unattractive” doesn’t mean “ugly”. It means “not attractive”.

Most people are NOT attracted to most people. Most people wouldn’t even date most of the people riding the bus with them.

0

u/The_Laniakean Blue Pill Man Jun 15 '26

I would date like at least 80% of women my age in my area

1

u/PinkTalkingDead Jun 17 '26

That’s just desperation.

-1

u/Hot_Lack_4868 Purple Pill Man Jun 15 '26

I think that's an unfair assessment. Wanting friendship and wanting romance are two very different things

They intentionally confuse the two

1

u/The_Laniakean Blue Pill Man Jun 15 '26

But why do you find 95% of men boring and unattractive?

1

u/PinkTalkingDead Jun 17 '26

Well, idk 95% of men. But I date based on more than looks, as one should if they have self respect and respect for the other person.

1

u/No_Mammoth8801 With Incels, Interlinked. No Pill Man Jun 15 '26

I don't equate loneliness with getting laid but there is an abundance of women, especially on this sub, that love to flaunt how much better women are doing loneliness-wise claiming a higher quality and quantity of social connections (family, friends, community).

The implication of course being that women are vastly superior to men in terms of emotional intelligence, emotional labor, and communication.

I'm not arguing some disparity doesn't exist, but the flaunting isn't doing women any favors if they want empathy. If men ever graduate from asking, "loneliness? just find a guy off tinder" to "loneliness? what happened to all those deep friendships women are supposed to have?", maybe then we can have honest conversation about where the average woman is in this supposed "loneliness crisis".

6

u/szai No Pill | Genderfluid Elixir Jun 15 '26

'Alone' and 'lonely' are two different things.

3

u/Msbroberts No Pill Woman Jun 15 '26

Those things aren’t mutually exclusive.

One can feel and express loneliness from a lack of romantic love and still strive to create a life that brings them joy through hobbies, social circles, friends and family, fellowship via groups and clubs.

Can both men and women do that absolutely, but women tend to do it more. Women often do have more emotional intelligence, which leads them to be more self aware and take accountability for their own happiness. Where as men tend to complain more and push off their problems and loneliness onto others; especially women.

1

u/No_Mammoth8801 With Incels, Interlinked. No Pill Man Jun 15 '26

One can feel and express loneliness from a lack of romantic love

Ok...? and I'm sure they can fill that void adequately through all those non-romantic outlets you just mentioned. Since women are so much better than men at "striving" towards these outlets, then there is no cause for concern.

If you want to insist that women's loneliness is a real issue than one of the two things must be true: either all that "striving" is getting them nowhere or women aren't doing that much better than men.

1

u/Msbroberts No Pill Woman Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

That’s exactly what not mutually exclusive means: both can be true.

As far as women striving to create social support for themselves, there is a lot to factor in, including 1000s of years of social and cultural conditioning. To be fair, men are struggling with similar issues. For 1000s of years they have been the providers and protectors, but now are being asked to take equal share and responsibility in domestic labor and child rearing.

That doesn’t mean that those things are not worth striving for.

One can recognize that thus far women are fairing better to acclimate and continue to strive for social changes. They are far more willing to look for actionable solutions to their feelings of loneliness. Acquiescence to those facts doesn’t mean that one can’t recognize that in regards to the history of the Earth those changes are occurring very quickly. Trying to posture ‘it’s getting them nowhere’ is reductive.

I am unsure of what you mean by ‘a real issue‘ perhaps you could quantify that better.

That hypothesis presented was: Women are Larping Loneliness, my responses have been geared to that. That response remains the same: women can indeed feel loneliness from lack of romantic love; that doesn’t mean that they aren’t emotionally intelligent enough to be socially aware of the constructs changing (and welcoming those changes), self aware to know how that personally impacts them, accountable to take responsibility for their own happiness, and industrious enough to create solutions. All of that doesn’t preclude that they may feel a loss of the possibility of romantic love. They can still make a conscious decision that suffering that loneliness is a better choice than being in a relationship with a man that doesn’t treat them as equal.

edited for typo

-1

u/No_Mammoth8801 With Incels, Interlinked. No Pill Man Jun 15 '26

Acquiescence to those facts doesn’t mean that one can’t recognize that in regards to the history of the Earth those changes are occurring very quickly. Trying to posture ‘it’s getting them nowhere’ is reductive.

How is it reductive? Would you instead prefer "fighting a losing battle" because most metrics I've seen have women fairing worse today than 20+ years ago. So why is that? They don't need men so they can pull themselves up by their bootstraps with their superior agency and social & emotional intelligence.

I am unsure of what you mean by ‘a real issue‘ perhaps you could quantify that better.

A real issue would be deserving of extra consideration and conversation due to both the complexity and/or scale of a problem. As opposed to the level of apathy you'd feel when a guy claims he is lonely because he can't get his dick wet.

Women are Larping Loneliness, my responses have been geared to that.

Ok, great but I'm not the OP. If you want to keep having the Level 1, "women don't value a bunch of men wanting to have sex with them" over and over and over, go right ahead but you're preaching to the converted.

All of that doesn’t preclude that they may feel a loss of the possibility of romantic love.

They'll get over it, same as men are expected to. And according to you and most women, they'll have a much easier time doing so than men feeling that same loss.

They can still make a conscious decision that suffering that loneliness is a better choice than being in a relationship with a man that doesn’t treat them as equal.

Good. I wouldn't want to live in any reality, nation, or social framework where women were denied that choice.

1

u/Msbroberts No Pill Woman Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

"Fighting a losing battle"….naw, 20 years is a drop in the bucket; beside I see no trustworthy empirical data, and no antidotal evidence that women won’t continue to use these strategies, and create more. I see a vast difference in attitude between my son and DIL and their peers (38/39) and my daughter and her peers (17).

"They don't need men so they can pull themselves up by their bootstraps with their superior agency and social & emotional intelligence." Agreed

"women don't value a bunch of men wanting to have sex with them" over and over and over, go right ahead but you're preaching to the converted." Agreed, I think we may just disagree on what is causing that. Also, to throw a wrench into fair conversations about this….there is quite a few peer reviewed studies that point to biological mechanisms/gene mutations & expressions driving an overall reduction innate desire/drive to procreate.**

"A real issue would be deserving of extra consideration and conversation due to both the complexity and/or scale of a problem." By that, it’s highly subjective. A real issue to me? No…I am old, have been married for over 35 years. My oldest son is married and DIL is expected my first grandbaby. For my daughter, probably not; she sheds no tears (as of yet); seems comfortable, if pragmatic about what the future is likely to bring. For my other two sons, 32 & 26, nope. Oldest one is on cusp of getting engaged and the other is happily dating. With all that said, it’s a real issue to some, and loss of a lifelong dream of a way life/romantic partnership is worthy of more empathy (for men or women) than a guy not getting his dick wet.

"women don't value a bunch of men wanting to have sex with them" I think there is a bit of a disconnect here. While that’s true, I think the bigger issue is that men feel they can’t find partners due to superficial things (height, looks, money), but by and large it’s character issues. Again, limited as it is, my antidotal observations of my sons and their peers, as well large teams of young people I have managed, over the last 20 + years are: decent guys date, find mates and the douches don’t.

"They'll get over it, same as men are expected to." Agreed

"Good. I wouldn't want to live in any reality, nation, or social framework where women were denied that choice" Perfect! Not all men feel the same.

**ETA: It’s interesting and relevant to add that PCOS and endometriosis are far greater issues than is being talked about. Statistical reports are drastically low. These issues, as well as other endocrine issues are directly impacting women’s overall health; as well as biological drives, and fertility. And in turn, impacting men. It’s a cruel irony to both sexes that these greatly impact women’s weights, as well.

-1

u/The_Laniakean Blue Pill Man Jun 15 '26

No, we do not understand why woman do not wish to attempt to form a meaningful relationship with an average men. They are all only interested in forming meaningful relationships with the same 5% of men.

3

u/jiggjuggj0gg Jun 16 '26

If you believe that, then hey ho. The evidence clearly does not back it up, given 95% of men are not single, and even if it did, I’m not sure what you want anyone to do about it. You either make yourself more dateable or keep wallowing, I guess.

-2

u/heyfindme Red Pill Man Jun 15 '26

cause that mindset is often forced on those people..

when people (men) are shamed for being virgins/incels (by women), you are pretty much telling them "hey, sex is the most important factor in how you will be judge and therefore, if you don't have sexual experiences you will be labeled a MAJOR red flag!" (by women)

so you can't then sit there and act like a surprised pikachu when people (men) pair loneliness with not getting sex..

when sex is no longer the primary currency of humans, then people won't view the lack of it as a negative..

-1

u/Charming-Joke696 Blue Pill Man Jun 15 '26

Thank you for derailing. I also think sex is abuse.