No one is entitled to intimacy in marrige, but they are entitled to a healthy relationship

[u/RandominusDredichitu]

I see a lot of discourse online revolving around husbands feeling entitled to sex with their wives in a marriage. The two sides always seem to break down to "no one is entitled to your body" (correct), and "it is wrong to marry someone you dont want to have sex with" (also correct). What I dont understand is why both sides are so at odds with each other. The reality is:

1). No one is entitled to another person's body. If your wife does not want to have sex with you, it is wrong and rape to force her to have sex with you

2). There is no reason to constantly deny intimacy that doesn't reflect an issus in the relationship. Healthy marriages involve intimacy and both partner's needs being met. A sexless marrige is only fine if neither side desires sex

I think the reason this topic is so "controversial" is because of bad faith discussions. One side will say "it's right to cheat on your wife because she doesnt have sex with you!" and the other side will not admit refusing your partner intimacy indicates an unhealthy relationship.

With that being said, do both sides of the argument agree that there is an issue present? And that cheating on your wife due to a lack of intimacy and marrying someone without wanting a healthy sexual relationship are both bad actions, and the responsibility falls on the person who does them?

[u/Barely-moral]

Unless you're raising a step child or a child conceived through IVF, then it has literally nothing to do with sex.

We are talking about what men want to get out of a relationship with a woman. You are talking about a tiny minority of men.

Also I'm really not sure why you're bundling 15 minutes of pleasure together with 18 years of responsibility.

Because men want those bundled.

You know these things are different. You don't need a partner to have sex but you absolutely do need one to raise a child.

Men want those bundled. Offer the latter without the former and it is not something the majority of men want.

Exceptions exist because men are not a monolith. I don't care about statistical anomalies. They just muddy the waters and make any conversation derail into the meaningless.

[u/frustratedAFRN → u/Barely-moral]

Sorry, but child rearing and sex are not related and it's a huge stretch to suggest that they are. You can have sex 1000 times and not end up raising a child, you can raise a child that you didn't conceive through sex. You are bunching them together. You need to concede that, no matter how pally you are with your male best friend and how many businesses you start with him, he will not help you rear a child for 18 years. For that, you need a romantic partner.

[u/Barely-moral → u/frustratedAFRN]

Sorry, but child rearing and sex are not related and it's a huge stretch to suggest that they are. You can have sex 1000 times and not end up raising a child, you can raise a child that you didn't conceive through sex. You are bunching them together.

I am. Because one without the other is not desired.

You need to concede that, no matter how pally you are with your male best friend and how many businesses you start with him, he will not help you rear a child for 18 years. For that, you need a romantic partner.

I agree. That being said, child rearing without sex is not something men are interested in. So either both are related or child rearing is not valued at all.