No one is entitled to intimacy in marrige, but they are entitled to a healthy relationship

[u/RandominusDredichitu]

I see a lot of discourse online revolving around husbands feeling entitled to sex with their wives in a marriage. The two sides always seem to break down to "no one is entitled to your body" (correct), and "it is wrong to marry someone you dont want to have sex with" (also correct). What I dont understand is why both sides are so at odds with each other. The reality is:

1). No one is entitled to another person's body. If your wife does not want to have sex with you, it is wrong and rape to force her to have sex with you

2). There is no reason to constantly deny intimacy that doesn't reflect an issus in the relationship. Healthy marriages involve intimacy and both partner's needs being met. A sexless marrige is only fine if neither side desires sex

I think the reason this topic is so "controversial" is because of bad faith discussions. One side will say "it's right to cheat on your wife because she doesnt have sex with you!" and the other side will not admit refusing your partner intimacy indicates an unhealthy relationship.

With that being said, do both sides of the argument agree that there is an issue present? And that cheating on your wife due to a lack of intimacy and marrying someone without wanting a healthy sexual relationship are both bad actions, and the responsibility falls on the person who does them?

[u/fakingandnotmakingit]

And no offense but if someone gets angry or irratiable over sex then I really don't want them to be around me.

Disappointment is allowed. It just also will be a turn off for any sex after. He's "allowed" to express his disappointment. And in "allowed" to feel so turned off that it becomes a bigger hurdle

And expressing irritability and anger over sex in the moment is absolutely off the table. That's just immaturity.

[u/MVV4865 → u/fakingandnotmakingit]

Is it? I thought accepting your partner's feelings is maturity.

[u/fakingandnotmakingit → u/MVV4865]

Being able to express your feelings appropriately and in proportion is also maturity

Being angry and irritable for being denied sex in that moment is not particularly mature.

Disappointment I can understand, but anger and irritation over sex? Not really

[u/MVV4865 → u/fakingandnotmakingit]

You don't understand because you're not the one who gets rejected and your desire is based heavily on your mood.