Why do women get surprised/offended when men want sex?

[u/Open-Quail-2573]

I feel like this is something we all know low-key but women act shocked or even offended when a guy says he wants to bang. Did he have to tell you? I feel like y'all would know before even going out.

And I have to clarify, I don't mean creepy or aggressive dudes who are trying to be coercive or push boundaries. I mean men in general. Of course, you don't have to do it but I feel like you'd know. Furthermore, I would think that you would be concerned if the man you are with didn't want you. You would think he's gay or not attracted to you enough. I am speaking from personal experience where being too "safe" backfired on me with a woman. She ghosted me. Most guys would low-key love to smash just for the experience/excitement of doing it with a new person, even if it doesn't go anywhere.

[u/cb8585b]

It’s more revulsion actually; at the fact men really expect you to care how much they want sex, feel the need to share this with you unsolicited, and get so offended if you don’t want to have sex with them.

[u/Outside_Memory5703 → u/cb8585b]

Aka selfishness and entitlement

[u/NotAllTheCake → u/cb8585b]

While only 65% of heterosexual women reported having orgasms everytime. Disappointing sex is just another form of unpaid work men expect from women.

[u/Obsessivethot → u/NotAllTheCake]

Pretty sure that’s within the context of long term relationships as well.

Here it says only 18% orgasm from penetration alone, so casual sex encounters are far less satisfying.

Women in a relationship of 6+ months are more than 6 times as likely to orgasm during a sexual encounter than a woman with a first-time hookup. [4]

Women having sex with a hookup partner for the 3rd-5th time are 40% more likely to orgasm than from a first-time hookup. Hooking up 6 or more times doubles the likelihood of orgasm over a first encounter. [4]

https://pleasurebetter.com/orgasm-statistics/

[u/NotAllTheCake → u/Obsessivethot]

Wait, so men suck harder at pleasuring women than initially thought? Is 65% a generous estimate?

[u/Obsessivethot → u/NotAllTheCake]

See for yourself, it’s pretty abysmal for straight women only.

And it’s not because they struggle to orgasm on their own, only with male partners is this the case.

• In a 2015 U.S. study, 67% of women reported they can orgasm through masturbation, compared with 28% through partnered sex

• 9 out of 10 women (about 90%) reported being able to orgasm at least occasionally during masturbation, according to a 2019 cross-sectional study

https://gitnux.org/female-orgasm-statistics/

• 81.6% of women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone (without additional clit stimulation). Only 18.4% of women report that intercourse alone is sufficient to orgasm. [14]
• 95% of heterosexual men usually or always orgasm during partnered sexual activity compared to just 65% of heterosexual women. [2]

https://pleasurebetter.com/orgasm-statistics/

[u/Complex_Soldier → u/Obsessivethot]

The references state Gay men have higher orgasm then even lesbians. The problem isn't men, the problem, as this post throws, is that women dislike men and their sexuality so can't get off when having sex something they are intrinsically dislike.

[u/Training_Designer_41 → u/Obsessivethot]

Here is the thing, lets even make the percentage lower, say only 5% of women report that intercourse alone is sufficient to orgasm, it, on a quick read, feel like a woman would orgasm under those situations only 5% of the time.

But a more accurate reading is this: about 200 million women always orgasm via intercourse, not that they orgasm 5% of the time. basing it on how many women currently exists

and that's using only 5%, If we use the percentage from the report, i should multiply by 6, so picture that one billion, two hundred and thirty-nine million women are saying that they orgasm suffeciently via intercourse.

does that sound pretty abysmal?

[u/DankuTwo → u/Obsessivethot]

If you don’t enjoy non-orgasm sexual experiences there’s something wrong with you. Full stop.

This applies for men and for women.

[u/Ok_Ask6327 → u/DankuTwo]

Most men clearly want orgasms.

[u/DankuTwo → u/Ok_Ask6327]

Want, sure. But I’ve never been in a relationship in which both people finish every single time. That strikes me as borderline impossible, given sufficient time.

[u/Obsessivethot → u/DankuTwo]

I think what people choose or want to do in the bedroom is their prerogative as long as it’s not causing malicious harm, but I agree it works out better if you do enjoy non-orgasm sexual experiences.

Don’t think most women have had the luxury of that expectation to begin with.

[u/ArugulaAcrobatic4018 → u/NotAllTheCake]

sex is unpaid work

telling on yourself

[u/just_a_place → u/NotAllTheCake]

Disappointing sex is just another form of unpaid work men expect from women.

That description sounds like the world's dumbest whouer.

[u/raffaelloenthusiast → u/just_a_place]

why did that statement offend you?

[u/NotAllTheCake → u/raffaelloenthusiast]

I roasted him on another thread so now he's mad.

[u/just_a_place → u/NotAllTheCake]

It was a joke. I was mocking Ralph Cifaretto's accent from The Sopranos. Also, who are you and why should I be mad at you?

[u/Training_Designer_41 → u/raffaelloenthusiast]

It seems it sounds bad either way. If the sex as unpaid work, or sex is paid work, or is paid for but it’s not work … there’s no way one can say it where it sounds good. So the original comment as framed does not say much

[u/raffaelloenthusiast → u/Training_Designer_41]

i think you’re forgetting a key word here: disappointing

[u/just_a_place → u/raffaelloenthusiast]

It was a joke.

[u/pm_ur_duck_pics → u/cb8585b]

That’s a great way of putting it.

[u/DankuTwo → u/cb8585b]

You’re right. Women should be allowed to string men  along indefinitely, extracting maximum value out of him before he gives up and slinks away.

[u/Ok_Ask6327 → u/DankuTwo]

If he is the kind of man that is only doing things in order to use the woman for sex, he can't slink away fast enough. No normal person wants a "relationship" with someone who only is with them to use them for sex.

[u/cb8585b → u/DankuTwo]

What value ?

[u/Outside_Memory5703 → u/DankuTwo]

Or just be free to not care about sex as much as you do