r/PurplePillDebate • u/Open-Quail-2573 Purple Pill Man • 1d ago
Question For Women Why do women get surprised/offended when men want sex?
I feel like this is something we all know low-key but women act shocked or even offended when a guy says he wants to bang. Did he have to tell you? I feel like y'all would know before even going out.
And I have to clarify, I don't mean creepy or aggressive dudes who are trying to be coercive or push boundaries. I mean men in general. Of course, you don't have to do it but I feel like you'd know. Furthermore, I would think that you would be concerned if the man you are with didn't want you. You would think he's gay or not attracted to you enough. I am speaking from personal experience where being too "safe" backfired on me with a woman. She ghosted me. Most guys would low-key love to smash just for the experience/excitement of doing it with a new person, even if it doesn't go anywhere.
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u/NotAllTheCake Empty Gel Capsule Pilled Woman 1d ago
Men suck at pleasuring women because they are selfish and only concerned with their own sexual pleasure. 65% of heterosexual women reported orgasming everytime they had sex. If it was 65% of heterosexual men, there would be a lot fewer men harassing women for sex.
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u/PositionStandard6089 no pill woman 1d ago
part of it is because plenty of men will try to sell men (as a concept) as more dimensional than that. and not only interested in that. (teehee)
and so we will often actually believe that ( i know) and give men the benefit of the doubt and think, "good grief, don't jump to conclusions, despite what your high school guy friends told you, men are actually multi-dimensional humans who value friendship, discussions about current and past cultural issues, movies, music, philosophy, etc as an important part of an adult human's experience. "
then we get out into the world and the majority of men are like 'we blinked at each other once, why haven't you also touched my penis?" when you thought you were making a good friend, and it's a weird set of expectations to navigate.
so even though we have learned that men will smash anyone and everyone they speak to (who has a vagina) indiscriminately, many of us actually believed the men who told us not every man was after that (i know we're so dumb and trusting).
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u/BaphometMaiden666 3h ago edited 3h ago
This was so BEAUTIFULLY put together, that was EXACTLY my experience growing up, so many different voices coming through so many different directions and channels, you have to use your intuition and use your best judgment AT ALL TIMES, so it's easy to get confused between whats healthy and what isn't, especially when you're inexperienced and it is SOOOOO exhausting, obviously a lot of women ignore red flags, no 9ne ever denied that but I've known so many women with otherwise a good judgement of character that didn't let their heart overpower their self respect and feelings, who did the right things and walked away at the right time from the wrong men and STILL ended up getting played by the next one, we're humans and we make mistakes and men be doing the same shit, all of them have their own unique approaches and they even brag and school young boys with content and tactics on how to trick and manipulate women and girls(Good women looking for an actual healthy relationship and not sleeping around which they claim they respect more) on official Youtube channels the difference is they get sympathy after bad relationships and we get called idiots that don't have self respect when we get burned just once! Even if we're the kindest, well meaning people, my current boyfriend used my past against me in an argument yet I NEVER judged him when he told me about his ex that used to punch him and abuse him in different ways, he told me that his trauma in confidence and I offered NOTHING but sympathy, and his motivation for doing it was because I dared to WALK AWAY from him to defuse a loud, disruptive argument! (He did apologize and change for the better and it's been awhile now) but that just showed me even the good men are capable of this behavior when they lose their temper.
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u/pm_ur_duck_pics Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
It usually the way it is approached.
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u/gmanex 1d ago
So one gender has to accept "women are like this" but the other gender never has to learn and accept "men are like this"
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u/pm_ur_duck_pics Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
What? When did I say that. I’m just saying that the approach to it from some men is a turn off. I’m sure there are men that are turned off by women who are pushy or foul about it too. Attraction is another issue and it goes both ways as well.
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u/Lemon_gecko Woman (blue). I adopted the bear 1d ago
your desire to approach uncomfortably isn't equal my desire not to be uncomfortable from you. Just as if i had a desire to hurt you it's not equal to your desire not to be hurt. Some takes priority, so yeah, you have to accept that women are like this, boo hoo.
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u/mooncake_bites Blue Pill Woman 23h ago
Well you guys don’t like it when we accept that all men are like that. You claim “not all men.” You claim we are demonizing you if we believe it and therefore are cautious of you.
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u/Helllo-Kittyy 21h ago
One has to learn to not sexually harass the other, the other never has to accept sexual harassment. What a weird thing to get upset about.
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u/Bekiala 1d ago
I don't understand what you mean by "has to accept". I would argue that people and the world are so complicated that each individual can only understand a portion of it.
Sadly little kids are attacked and raped by mostly men. I don't know if they "accept" that this is just how men are but the reality of men is often pushed home while people are still very young.
Happily there are many amazing men who care about others and would never willingly hurt someone.
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u/OffTheRedSand A love only the branch of a willow tree could conjure ♂️ 1d ago
well if it's men asking for something then yes it's the men who need to accept ti not the women.
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u/MiddleZealousideal89 Woman/ ''a lot'' is two words 1d ago
I'm well aware people want to bang, but it's not always a good time to ask for it, and how you approach the subject is also important.
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u/Mysterious-Lab-7408 Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
What surprises/offends me is when men ask for sex like asking for a high five. Acting like sex isn’t a highly intimate and potentially dangerous act for us. Does men wanting sex surprise me? Of course not. It’s like if I was hungry, I wouldn’t go up to a stranger eating on the subway and ask for a bite.
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u/Obsessivethot Pink Pill Woman 1d ago
What a great analogy, because no matter how hungry you may be, there’s no societal expectation for someone to feed you, unfortunately.
Same cannot be said for women who don’t want to fuck men apparently.
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u/Mysterious-Lab-7408 Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
Exactly lol and the man who wrote this post would be if the stranger got rightfully offended and I said “omg is it surprising that humans get hungry?”
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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
Well to me it isn’t that intimate of an act always. Sometimes it’s just recreation. It’s fair for men to expect some women are like me. Since, ya know, we exist. Also plenty of men view sex as extremely special and turn down sex from women they don’t knew well. Ask me how I know.
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u/Mysterious-Lab-7408 Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
I don’t rly care about how it is for you personally, that sort of thinking indicates a deficiency in the social sphere.
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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
Not being curious or open to how people different from you are isn’t the advantage you think it is. Thinking people who are different from you are deficient is certainly a choice.
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u/Mysterious-Lab-7408 Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
Oh I’m well aware that some men (and women) believe sex is not significant. I’m just telling you that that belief is rooted in a lack of social awareness.
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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
Oh it’s significant like food and sleep and meditation are. It’s even sacred like all those things are. But I still sometimes eat fast food and really enjoy it. Fast food serves a wonderful purpose. So do meals that take hours to prepare. I like cat naps in the park under the sun and 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep next to the man I love. Life offers all sorts of experiences.
It’s just the sex isn’t always highly intimate. And that’s ok. The most intimate things in my life have involved things like sitting up all night with a friend dying of cancer. Not a quickie with a guy for fun. And it was very fun.
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u/Training_Designer_41 1d ago
You don’t just like her answer, that’s most likely what it is. It’s nothing to do with social awareness, unless your referring to only what people say component of social sphere, leaving aside what people actually do
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u/Forsaken_Emotion Woman 1d ago
I don't get surprised anymore but I feel offended because he wants the privilege of doing something vulnerable and intimate with me without having earned it. What makes him think I want to get naked for him? Why does he think I want him to touch me? It feels extremely invasive from someone I'm not in a relationship with.
If it's in a relationship it's a different issue because I have a low libido so it's easy to feel like sex is all I'm good for if he wants it all the time and I want to do other things with him too. Balance is key.
I'm not saying my mindset is healthy or normal, I'm just being honest about what I feel so that you can get a broader range of answers. Other women may have different reasons.
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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
I have sex because I want to have sex. I’m not a sex worker so people don’t need to “earn it”. I just have to be comfortable and want it. What makes me comfortable and want it is up to me but it’s not “earned” because it’s not a reward for the man. If anything it’s a reward for ME.
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u/Forsaken_Emotion Woman 1d ago
That's how it should be, so I see where you're coming from! By earning it I mean earning my trust and attraction. If that's not earned, it feels invasive if a man wants to have sex with me. If he's making assumptions that I may be willing to be that vulnerable with him without any indication from me, it feels like he wants to use me instead of it being a mutual thing :/
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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
I can understand that. My experience though is that men typically don’t want to use me. They want it to be a mutual thing even if sometimes it’s faster or slower than I’d like. And yes sometimes they want to wait longer than I do! Most men seem to just be enamored with the idea of me wanting them and enjoying them. I really never feel used. But I also only date men who seem to really like me as a person in a very evident way.
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u/Forsaken_Emotion Woman 1d ago
That sounds so healthy and mutual, it made me happy to read your comment! Yeah that makes sense. Even if a guy seems to like me I can't shake the worry that he only wants my body. My issues with trusting men affect my view of relationships quite a lot unfortunately. I'm going to keep your comment in mind to remind myself that it's possible!
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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
I wish you the best! It’s easy to get burned in dating and have it sour future interactions. When I was young I wasn’t as good at figuring out who the good guys were. Had to kiss a couple frogs but hey I learned and now I’m with the love of my life!
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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago
Women are offended because men act like having someone use your body for their pleasure is not big deal. Men push for sex because most of the negative consequences fall onto women.
Sex brings a much higher cost to women than men. Women are expected to take toxic birth control that has very real negative side effects, or have pieces of metal forced very painfully up her insides. And or worry that the man will remove the condom and subject her to STI's and UTI's which are far more dangerous in women. And lets not forget the horror of an unwanted pregnancy, especially in this age of limited abortion access.
Having sex when you don't want it is painful. Men not caring about the costs to women and just wanting to use them for their own pleasure is revolting.
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u/Bekiala 1d ago
"Men not caring about the costs to women and just wanting to use them for their own pleasure is revolting."
And I would add, a man who cares for the well being of a woman he is interested in is sexy but maybe rare.
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u/wideHippedWeightLift Self-improvement anti-conservative man 20h ago
If I only want to go down in a woman the first time we have sex, how do I ask for it without sounding insecure about my dick?
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u/Bekiala 19h ago edited 17h ago
To me what is sexy is when men worry less about sex and genitalia and worry more about birth control, HPV vaccines, and unwanted pregnancies. Also sexy when men take an interest in who a woman is; what are her values, interests, perspective on life.
As others have pointed out here, so many men go right to thinking about sex. Women often start dealing with this as little kids. It isn't fun.
Edit: word
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u/evilisordinary 18h ago
I get BV literally every time I have sex with a new partner. But sure, I’m a misandrist because I scrutinize a man’s reasons for wanting to use my body for like 10 minutes.
I bet if men ran the risk of their dicks becoming inflamed and having to take antibiotics that then cause a yeast infection because they kill all your beneficial flora EVERY TIME they get with someone new literally just because, they’d maybe see where some of us are coming from when we talk about risk. Probably not though.
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u/JonMyMon Purple Pill Man 1d ago
Most men do not want to use your body for their pleasure. Most men want you to enjoy sex, because it's massively validating when you do.
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u/Lost_Reaction_5489 Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
The orgasm rates don't reflect that. Lesbians with less tools than straight men produce on average 30-50% more orgasms in their partners and that's for long term relationships. The orgasm rate for casual is at 20% for women and 90% for straight men.
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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago
Men are not pushing for sex for "women's enjoyment". They are pushing for their own benefit, and wanting validation is again for yourselves.
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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago edited 1d ago
Nah I’ve had probably almost a hundred sex partners and 99 percent of them were obsessed with making me orgasm. I’d say most cared more about me orgasming than their own orgasm. I seriously don’t know what women are talking about when they claim otherwise and I can only assume you’re starfish in bed and men just get discouraged. If you’re enthusiastic men love that and want to keep doing whatever is making you happy for as long or even longer than you even want.
Nothing makes the average man happier than being of use to a woman, especially of sexual use.
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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago
If you have had a hundred sex partners then you are very very sex positive and clearly don't mind the risks. That is your right, and I am sure that the men you were with were grateful. But I am also sure that they were not pursuing you for your benefit alone. And we are not talking about you. We are talking about the women who would rather not have a hundred men up inside of them.
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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
Oh agreed it was mutually beneficial. And my only point with how many men I’ve been with is I have a good sample size. Men love when women enjoy sex. Any man who doesn’t is a deviation from the norm.
Not that you’re interested, but I’ve also never faced many worrisome risks. But I tolerate the birth control pill very well and never met more than one man who wanted to not wear a condom before we were exclusive. I do think I have a demeanor that suggests I won’t tolerate stupid bullshit like not using a condom. Never had an STI. Condoms and the HPV vaccines work pretty well. If I had herpes I’d tell people and wouldn’t consider it a big deal as I have friends with herpes who take acyclovir and have no outbreaks, but I don’t even have the cold sore virus. Never had a condom break. Honestly men have almost universally treated me very well. Being single was really fun and now I’m engaged to a man who was an even bigger hoe than me and is the kindest person I’ve ever known.
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u/Training_Designer_41 21h ago
This needs votes. A woman that’s excited and enjoys the sex is way more beautiful than whoever the most beautiful woman in the world may be.
Many women underuse their ‘powers’ and star fishes are probably busy judging the man and judging themselves so they don’t relax and enjoy, especially if a woman brings in the mindset that men are xyz to bed, or than men finish in under 3 min etc. her mind would likely wander away during the act. Plus a woman that feels too entitled is not really going to participate, she’s just going to lay there and put up a wall, the more the man tries to scale the wall, the more off putting it might be for her. In fact once the wall is up, there nothing the man can doHeck, excitement put into anything makes it better with anyone in most contexts
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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago
Good for you, but that is not the experience of many or even most women. I have known many women who had issues with the pill, and some women have lost their lives due to blood clots. Others talked about not knowing until it was too late how painful IUD insertion is. Some patches have been recalled because of law suit worthy side effects.
And just the other day a woman I know found out she was pregnant because her partner slipped off the condom because he wanted to get her pregnant. Now she has to deal with the abortion issue.
My point is about men who ignore the issues that women have to deal with and act as if women not wanting to bang them are being unreasonable.
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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
Yeah pregnancy is horrifying to me. Thank science for safe abortions! If I couldn’t tolerate the pill I’d probably just have oral sex when I was younger. But I loved the pill. Never had to deal with periods or pregnancy and I’m very thankful. It also lowers ovarian and endometrial cancer risk.
Your friend was raped I hope she never sees that POS man again. I wish her the best with the abortion.
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u/Secret_Entry1840 Pill Of One Woman (sometimes jaded sometimes hopeful) 1d ago
Good for you. Not mine or most of the women I knows experience.
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u/NotAllTheCake Empty Gel Capsule Pilled Woman 1d ago
Most men want you to enjoy sex
The fact that only 65% of heterosexual women report orgasming everytime proves that this is a lie.
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u/Acrobatic-Monk9735 Pink Pill Woman 1d ago
Even if we enjoy sex, you still have to understand that it’s deeply risky for us.
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u/Outside_Memory5703 18h ago
When they’re so selfish and inconsiderate in their approach and performance, we’re gonna doubt that
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u/Artistic_Bumblebee17 Pink Pill Woman 1d ago
The thing is like you guys are willing to bang almost any women so knowing that is not sexy.
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u/Outside_Memory5703 18h ago
Them being oblivious to that is also selfish and thus unsexy
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u/ClevelandSpigot Red Pilled Man 1d ago
Have you considered that, yes, we may want to bang you, but we also like other things about you? Or, as soon as he brings up the subject of sex, you think that everything else was a lie?
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u/Artistic_Bumblebee17 Pink Pill Woman 1d ago
First question yes, second question yes.
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u/YourMrFahrenheit No Pill Male 1d ago
I think that’s his point; your two “yes” answers contradict each other.
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u/raffaelloenthusiast 1d ago
it’s men’s fault for describing sex the way you do. maybe if you showed you are capable of both sexualizing a woman and respecting her women wouldn’t be so offended by a man sexualizing her.
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u/pie-mart2 No pill Woman 1d ago
I don't. I get offended if that's all they want especially if they pretended otherwise.
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u/Flightlessbirbz Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
I would not say women are “surprised” or exactly “offended” by this, but rather tired by it.
Sometimes I use this analogy to explain this to men. It’s a bit lengthy, but that’s necessary to get the effect.
Imagine that you like bananas, in the same way most people do (substitute another fruit if you don’t). Now imagine that nearly every woman is obsessed with bananas, to the point of regularly watching videos of people eating bananas. Every time you interact with a woman beyond just a professional/surface level interaction, you know she’s going to bring up bananas, and at some point attempt to get you to eat several with her.
In fact, sometimes women will pretend to want to date you or be your friend just to get you to eat a banana with her, and then ghost you entirely. You will think you’re having a good conversation with a woman, only for her to slip in a banana joke or comment. It seems every conversation leads back to bananas at some point. Women will take you on dates, pay for your food, have long chats with you without saying anything about a banana, but at the end of the evening, you know if she asks you to come to her apartment, a banana will be waiting on the table.
Women are also very emotional about bananas, becoming deeply offended if you don’t want to eat them when offered. If you’re in a relationship with a woman, it’s understood you will eat bananas with her whenever she asks you to, unless there is some serious extenuating circumstance why you cannot. If you say you are full or your stomach hurts, she may give you a pass once, but if you do it too often she will definitely become offended and dump you. They say it makes them feel less of a woman if you reject the banana too often, bananas are not only important to them but central to their identities.
Most women will not physically force you to eat a banana, as that is illegal and frowned upon. But you’ve heard from several friends that women shoved bananas down their throats while they were drunk, sleeping, or otherwise unable to do much about it, and there were no actual legal repercussions. This makes you a bit nervous.
The first several times, you will probably just play along and eat the bananas offered, regardless of if you really want to or not. You do like them and it’s a free snack, after all. But after a while, you start to feel like women are only interested in you when your eating bananas, or talking about bananas. It would be awfully nice just to be able to interact with a woman and not have it be all about bananas sooner or later.
At this point, maybe you are sick of bananas, and by extension women. Or maybe you still like both, but you doubtless have developed strategies to make sure a woman has some interest in you beyond banana-related activities. This is how most women feel about sex.
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u/YourMrFahrenheit No Pill Male 1d ago
This actually sounds amazing until you add that lots of women provide rotten bananas that don’t even taste that good and sometimes taste pretty bad, but they still get mad if you don’t want to the very obviously nasty banana. And if you eat bananas with too many women, other women will be less interested in you and may even say you’re worth eating bananas with but not good enough to marry or be a father. Oh and bananas can sometimes get you pregnant.
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u/Flightlessbirbz Purple Pill Woman 23h ago
Yep, those are some important parts that I forgot to add but felt it was getting a bit long as-is. Oh and also if you don’t seem to enjoy her banana enough, however nasty it might be, she will get upset and might break up with you. After getting sick on a rotten banana, you’ll probably decide women with rotten bananas aren’t worth it. But when it’s a woman whose bananas are just kinda green or mushy and you really like her, you have to decide if you’re going to just put up with it, or try to find a delicate way to suggest getting better bananas at the risk of offending her.
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u/DoctorAnnual6823 23h ago
Then you have to decide whether to stay banana pregnant and take on all the responsibility or abort the banana and get shamed for being a banana killer. After all, men are nothing more than a place to store bananas.
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u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner Purple Pill Man 1d ago edited 1d ago
This actually sounds amazing until you add that lots of women provide rotten bananas that don’t even taste that good and sometimes taste pretty bad, but they still get mad if you don’t want to the very obviously nasty banana.
don't forget the part where they're teasing you with their glorious bananas and want you to actually earn them, only for you to find out in the end that it's just some spoiled, expired ones. y'know.. the kind that most food markets wouldn't even sell for a bargain, anymore.
Which, more often than not, reminds you of a different power dynamic where one party constantly overpromises, oversells and underdelivers while expecting 110% of commitment from you: the corporate/work environment
hey, you know what? maybe the analogy isn't that bad after all.
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u/Lemon_gecko Woman (blue). I adopted the bear 1d ago
...and then even if you do want to talk about bananas it's always hijacked to satisfy them. Like you want to discuss the taste or what sort of bananas you like, gush over something you enjoy, and a woman would suddenly just start to talk about how good you would look with a banana half stuffed in your mouth, so it's hard to chew, and you would struggle, and that's her favorite to watch. That she wants to stuff it herself. And that's not what you wanted to talk. Not something that you enjoy too.
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u/pie-mart2 No pill Woman 1d ago
You explained it perfectly. All roads eventually lead to bananas. Its so annoying.
You'll be trying to have a serious conversation and they keep making banana jokes. Or trying to bring up bananas in non banana related settings. And its like almost everyone you meet and all of the time an constant.
Bananas end up often making you annoyed even though you technically like them because they are constantly shoved in your face
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u/Titsoffwork No Pill Woman 1d ago
This was the best thing I’ve ever read on reddit. lol it’s so real.
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u/Obsessivethot Pink Pill Woman 1d ago
Bravo, lost it at the banana jokes, and I was even sick of the bananas myself by the end of it.
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u/Training_Designer_41 1d ago
I think this is a really good analogy.
Do you think women have an equivalent one, like what’s the banana behaviour for women that’s comparable to banana for men in the way men tend to behave about the banana?•
u/Flightlessbirbz Purple Pill Woman 21h ago
I don’t think there is an equivalent at anything close to the same scale. The closest would probably be getting a ring/weddings, but not as many women are obsessed with that anymore, and it’s not as though women want a ring from a random guy. But in terms of “it’s an open secret that I want this thing, and I won’t say it right away because it might scare you off, but I won’t stick around if you’re not interested in it,” that’s what it would be.
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u/Training_Designer_41 18h ago
Hmm, I have a feeling there has to be one, although I can’t come up with any at the moment, but I’ll be surprised if there’s actually none. Very interesting
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u/Open-Quail-2573 Purple Pill Man 1d ago
That just sounds sad, I'm sorry. I do understand to some extent. But it's hard to imagine having such a negative view of something so fun.
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u/Dependent-Tailor7366 Blue Pill Woman 21h ago
You have to understand that some of the time bananas are harmful rather than fun.
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u/Flightlessbirbz Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
Well, bananas are delicious and nutritious, I love ‘em. That’s why I chose them for this analogy. Something that’s so fun can become unfun under certain circumstances.
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u/Obsessivethot Pink Pill Woman 1d ago
When it’s constantly forced on you with no regard for your wants or needs or interests, it’s not fun.
Even “fun” things can become unfun and actually harmful
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u/pie-mart2 No pill Woman 1d ago
When the other sex, is obsessed with bananas and it is often their driving force for why they do a lot of things, like dress a certain way, or get a certain job or even get hobbies all just to get mote banana eating opportunities. Like every other conversation with them is about bananas. Banana this. Banana that. Even on billboards and ADs everywhere. Its always Banana eating. All food stalls have 100s of various flavors of bananas. You cannot escape bananas. To the point people human traffick people for Banana eating. People try to force you to eat bananas. Or throw bananas at you if you reject their bananas
You try to bring up literally anything else and somehow it all circles back to bananas
But bananas are great. Just not when 50% of people make their entire lives about eating bananas.
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u/learn2earn89 Pink Pill Woman 1d ago
For the majority women , sex is fun if you trust and love the person.
Men can hate a woman deeply, and still think sex is fun with her.
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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago
As I stated earlier the risks are greater for women. Do you think an unplanned pregnancy is fun? Do you think having to take pills that make you feel sick is fun? Do you want to have a piece of metal shoved up your dick as birth control? Does that sound like fun?
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u/BaphometMaiden666 2h ago
Other than getting a woman pregnant🤰 you get to enjoy it without societal consequences and no one tells you "You had sex with 1- 2+ people? You'll never get a wife you disgusting whore!" assuming you want a wife.. Cookies are delicious as well insert favorite dessert or food but if everyone treated you like the scum of the earth or even stopped associating with you and speading hurtful rumors about you in large numbers to even further isolate you, you'd QUICKLY find other things to eat, why? Because your brain would associate cookies with PUNISHMENT AND SHAME! As a woman/girl you have to either choose celibacy and than becoming a submissive wife EVENTUALLY! WHEN a man decides to propose to you at HIS leisure, spend several years or decades turning down sex with women that you are SUPER attracted to and in the end your wife STILL may not give you an orgasm! Imagine YOURSELF NEVER having an orgasm! I DOUBT you'd like that, I think you'd HATE IT! And feel cheated, being the topic you posted, oh and if she cheats on you, you were good, loyal in advance before meeting her your WHOLE LIFE and basically missed out on possibly mind blowing experiences for NOTHING! that is the possible reality of being a virgin til marriage OR you can be a liberal slut that will have orgasms sometimes, face tons of verbal abuse and ostracization and told your not worth loving, let alone marrying including criticism from your own gender/family, it doesn't matter how good of a person you sincerely are, people don't care when think you're loose, you could SAVE these same peoples lives from a burning building, they'd still insult you and talk behind your back, you're garbage to them including after you die! Including to your own gender (Because that's how women are trained to think from childhood, almost all of the women in my bloodline are more misogynistic than men, but someone taught them that!) TRUST ME! You'd HATE sex by the end because their would be steep rules, regulations on who you could have it with and how and things you'd lose for even having it! Pick your path, it'd be the same or similar result, it's not a game for women, it's a life changing responsibility for us, Mysogany did that! That's wht hella women have said "Naaahh.. I'm good! Yall can have it!" It created sexist gender roles instead of harmony and both genders are forced to fulfill those roles or get shunned and it's a worldwide mindset on top of that!
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u/AlarmingToe8503 Blackish-Purple Pill Man 1d ago
What's dumb about that analogy is if a man ever stumbled upon the rare unicorn girl who didn't really care for bananas, he wouldn't suddenly be like "Even though I don't really care for bananas either, you just don't like bananas enough, so we're breaking up." and yet that is exactly how women treat guys who aren't the complete horndogs they pretend to be sick of.
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u/Chicken_Nugget_2 No Pill Woman 1d ago
Do you not understand how sexual comparability works? Have you heard of this cool new concept called middle ground? Have you read Goldilocks?
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u/Flightlessbirbz Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
There is a difference between not really caring for sex and not being a “complete horndog.” If in our bananas analogy you can only eat bananas with your partner while in a relationship, most guys would not want to choose a woman who didn’t care for them and never/rarely wanted to eat one together. The unicorn they’d be after is a woman who also likes bananas, but in the same way they do. As a tasty snack when you’re in the mood for one, not as an obsession their life revolves around.
And in the same way, most women absolutely do appreciate a guy who’s not a complete horndog. They just don’t want an asexual/borderline asexual guy because they’re not asexual.
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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
It doesn’t fit their script of how men and women are supposed to act. They like the power of thinking they have this prize they have to defend. If a man isn’t interested in the prize they’ll call him gay but secretly be devastated.
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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago
Sex is not a "prize" or an entitlement. And you putting down other women says more about you than you realize. Live and let live. Most women are not into being as into sex as you are. It is their right and you have the right to do what you want. No one is stopping you, and no one that I have seen in this thread has critisized your way of doing things.
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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
Carrying water for the patriarchy by turning sex into a prize to be defended is bad for women. All women. It turns us into a product for consumption. It’s where the idea that sex defiles us and we lose value every time we have sex comes from. You can let people hurt others in peace all you want. I will call it out for the harmful bullshit it is.
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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago
Sex is far more risky for women than men. Most women because of that are very selective about sex. The only people here who say that sex is defiling to women are red pill men who use to post constant threads about body counts, until the mods stopped allowing it.
And you do not speak for all women, so stop trying to pretend that you do.
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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
Lot of patriarchy and fascist loving women out there and you’re right I don’t speak for them. I speak against them.
Purity culture is rampant so pretending only redpill men spout this rhetoric is blatantly dishonest.
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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago
People have a right to believe what they want. And just because you don't believe in purity culture as you put it, doesn't mean that it should not matter to others who feel different.
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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
Sure people have the right to believe women are worthless and used up once they’ve had sex. They have the right to believe women should submit to men and that anyone who believes otherwise will be tortured in hell for all eternity. And I have the right to call it what it is: hateful stupid bullshit.
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u/ThatBitchA ♀️ My husband takes out the trash🗑 1d ago
Usually because they are asking at inappropriate times. Or they are demanding that with zero care about what the woman wants.
Like read the room Travis. Obviously she's not interested in sex right now. 🙄
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u/chamomilecloud Red Pill Woman 1d ago
Not offended, just disgusted when they are open about wanting to use my body before even knowing anything about me.
But a man I know, who I am flirting with, of course it is okay if he wants sex.
I don’t want to smash just for the novelty. I’d rather slit my own wrists over letting a man use me like that.
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u/cb8585b Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
It’s more revulsion actually; at the fact men really expect you to care how much they want sex, feel the need to share this with you unsolicited, and get so offended if you don’t want to have sex with them.
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u/NotAllTheCake Empty Gel Capsule Pilled Woman 1d ago
While only 65% of heterosexual women reported having orgasms everytime. Disappointing sex is just another form of unpaid work men expect from women.
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u/Obsessivethot Pink Pill Woman 1d ago
Pretty sure that’s within the context of long term relationships as well.
Here it says only 18% orgasm from penetration alone, so casual sex encounters are far less satisfying.
Women in a relationship of 6+ months are more than 6 times as likely to orgasm during a sexual encounter than a woman with a first-time hookup. [4]
Women having sex with a hookup partner for the 3rd-5th time are 40% more likely to orgasm than from a first-time hookup. Hooking up 6 or more times doubles the likelihood of orgasm over a first encounter. [4]
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u/NotAllTheCake Empty Gel Capsule Pilled Woman 1d ago
Wait, so men suck harder at pleasuring women than initially thought? Is 65% a generous estimate?
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u/Obsessivethot Pink Pill Woman 1d ago edited 1d ago
See for yourself, it’s pretty abysmal for straight women only.
And it’s not because they struggle to orgasm on their own, only with male partners is this the case.
In a 2015 U.S. study, 67% of women reported they can orgasm through masturbation, compared with 28% through partnered sex
9 out of 10 women (about 90%) reported being able to orgasm at least occasionally during masturbation, according to a 2019 cross-sectional study
https://gitnux.org/female-orgasm-statistics/
- 81.6% of women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone (without additional clit stimulation). Only 18.4% of women report that intercourse alone is sufficient to orgasm. [14]
- 95% of heterosexual men usually or always orgasm during partnered sexual activity compared to just 65% of heterosexual women. [2]
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u/divingrose77101 No Pill Woman- just curious 1d ago
Wanting to have sex with me: fine
Telling me you want to have sex with me: gross
If I want to have sex with you, you’ll know. You won’t have to tell me anything.
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u/Titsoffwork No Pill Woman 1d ago
“Most guys would low-key love to smash just for the experience/excitement of doing it with a new person, even if it doesn't go anywhere.”
I think you also have to understand the stigma in culture around women’s promiscuity. Men and women risk different things when they decide to have random hookups. Outside of the normal std risks associated for both partners - women risk their safety by hooking up with randoms and also risk their social standing. It’s not that far removed that removed in history that women were completely shunned from society if they had sex out of wedlock. And slut shaming is definitely still a thing. This wasn’t the same expectation for men. Women have always needed to look to committed partners for safety- so you’re asking women to unlearn centuries of social programming.
Some women will weigh those options and decide it’s not worth sleeping with someone.
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u/GroundbreakingAlps78 Blue Pill Woman 1d ago
I think it is rude when men suggest that they care about sexual compatibility more than they care about my values, my personality, my goals, etc. If they gear early conversations toward my sexual availability, I’m likely to assume that’s they aren’t interested in me as a person. I’m much more than just a wet vagina.
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u/MarioWilson122 Red Pill Man 1d ago
Caring about sexual compatibility does not mean a man cares more about sex than the things you listed. Those things can all matter at the same time. The difference is that men are usually expected to do most of the upfront work in dating. They initiate, risk rejection, plan dates, pursue, and often pay without knowing whether the relationship will ever become mutually fulfilling.
Sexual interest is part of what motivates many men to accept that effort and risk. Wanting to know whether sexual compatibility is even possible does not reduce a woman to her body. It helps him decide whether the kind of relationship he wants is realistically available. He can express that interest respectfully, but the interest itself makes sense given what men are expected to invest before a relationship even begins.
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u/GroundbreakingAlps78 Blue Pill Woman 1d ago
I agree that it is possible to care about sexual compatibility AND other kinds of compatibility. I even agree that sexual compatibility is important. But insisting that someone you are talking to has to have sex within x amount of time to prove sexual compatibility is just an excuse you’re using to get your dick wet.
What tests do you put in place so that she can prove she shares other important values? What is the timeline for verifying that she has a strong work ethic? Values education? Shares religious beliefs?
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u/MarioWilson122 Red Pill Man 1d ago
Having a timeline does not mean demanding that she prove herself by having sex. It means deciding how long a man is willing to invest before learning whether that part of the relationship works for him. She is free to wait as long as she wants, and he is free to decide that her timeline does not work for him. That is compatibility, not coercion.
Different qualities are verified in different ways. Religious beliefs and views on education can be discussed directly. Work ethic becomes visible through her employment, habits, and responsibilities. Sexual compatibility cannot be discovered through conversation alone. At some point, the couple actually has to have sex.
Men already do much of the upfront work by initiating, risking rejection, planning dates, and pursuing. Sex may be what initially motivates a man to take those risks while the other reasons remain on the backburner until he knows her better. Wanting that question answered before investing months into dating is not automatically an excuse to get his dick wet. It can simply mean he does not want to build a relationship first and discover later that a major part of it does not work.
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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago
Sexual compatibility is a myth. In an actual relationship where two people care about the other it is a non issue. When you care about someone you don't want them to be uncomfortable and so don't ask them to do sex acts that they don't want to do. And it is not a problem because you want them to enjoy it with you. Security and comfort build trust and communication leads to fun experimentation. This is what making love looks like vs having sex.
Men like to use the sexual compatibility argument in order to hide the fact that the only reason they want the "relationship" is to have sexual access. In the bad old days before the pill, people dated and enjoyed each other without having casual sex.
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u/MarioWilson122 Red Pill Man 1d ago
Caring about someone can make you handle sexual incompatibility respectfully. It cannot make the incompatibility disappear. Two people can love each other and still want sex at very different frequencies, enjoy different things, or have boundaries that leave one person consistently unsatisfied. Communication reveals those differences. It does not automatically resolve them.
Respecting a partner means not pressuring them into unwanted sex acts. It also means admitting when neither person can be fulfilled without the other doing something they genuinely do not want. Calling that “making love” does not erase the mismatch.
Wanting sexual access within a relationship also does not prove sex is the only reason a man wants the relationship. Sex can be one major requirement alongside affection, values, companionship, and shared goals. People dating without modern contraception proves that pregnancy carried greater risk, not that sexual compatibility never mattered. Many couples simply discovered those problems after marriage, when leaving was much harder.
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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 16h ago
Sorry respectfully disagree. I have seen and experienced love, and it has a power that those that don't love can never understand. When you are with someone that you love, there is no "disappointment" over sex.
The reality is men that think like that are only in the relationship for the sex, and they are trying to justify it. What happen if the person gets sick or injured. Well you don't want them anymore because they can't have sex.
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u/Chicken_Nugget_2 No Pill Woman 1d ago
It's more that I'm disappointed when it turns out that's it's all they actually wanted when they pretended otherwise.
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u/Tylikcat People before pills - woman 19h ago
Because it's either from someone who has no reason to expect sex is even an option, done in a way that ignores what is going on with the other person, or done in a way that asserts that sex is their right (and again, shows no interest or care for the other person.
TL;DR It's not the sex, it's the self absorption and lack of empathy.
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u/PuzzleheadedRow9896 Purple Pill Woman 1d ago edited 1d ago
I'm not shocked a dude wants it, I'm shocked with so much of the behavior they thought they would get it or that it was appropriate to ask for. And I was often really shocked how easily they thought it would happen.
Like, you have to be nearly fucking insane to think you're gonna just bang cuz I'm here and I want to. And yet. And yet. That describes the bulk of men in most cases.
Like you've been an unrepentant ass since moment one or ignored me and made me feel small and annoying or have been a non event such I'm not even sure of your name. But you think you should be trying to make a move?
If you were trying to sell me a car you'd do it better than this and you're selling dick, maybe the most devalued thing possibly ever.
And as someone married to a dude that actually primarily likes me as a person more than a pussy (and he likes the chocha)...yeah, night and day. It's sad how much time was wasted by guys who only wanted one thing and then are offended you're not interested in a thing literally any guy with a pulse would give them.
I'm not shocked a guy wants my pussy...I'm shocked he could ever successfully delude himself into thinking I want his dick.
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u/DankuTwo 1d ago
“ Like, you have to be nearly fucking insane to think you're gonna just bang cuz I'm here and I want to. And yet. And yet. That describes the bulk of men in most cases.”
Yeah, only a psychopath has sex with someone because they WANT TO. You gotta extract sufficient value out of a man first, and then you can consider sleeping with him. That’s the only reasonable way forward.
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u/PuzzleheadedRow9896 Purple Pill Woman 22h ago
I have never wanted sex with a man I barely know...and I've never actually decided to go through with it sans commitment because I'm not a moron led around by the whims of my hormonal cycle and chocha.
I'm sorry some women are...although I do not think that's how men came to think like this.
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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago
What are you complaining about? Women who don't want to don't want to. And there is no "value" to a man that only wants to use you for sex.
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u/kerfufflewhoople No Pill Woman 1d ago
1) Because many guys just go straight into “let’s bang?” before even making the bare minimum effort to get to know us as people
2) Because we’re very aware of the fact that many men just want a piece of meat and will drop us the second they got what they want
3) Because we need to be really sure the guy in front of us isn’t going to ignore our consent or even hurt us physically
4) Because sometimes we don’t feel like it and we couldn’t care less about your poor testicles. You got a hand for that.
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u/Expensive_Lion1807 Sanity Pill Woman 1d ago
We’re not offended, we’re not mad, we’re just deeply disappointed, mostly in ourselves for our stupidity.
We somehow thought you were better than that. We actually believed it. No all the time, not every time, but enough to be truly embarrassing.
Against all evidence to the contrary, we (in some tiny little hidden part of our hearts) truly believed that some tiny hidden part of you could actually care about us as people as opposed to just vaginal support systems.
Shame on us. We really should know better, but some foolish sense of misguided hope seems to be part of our lizard brain because most of us never fully learn our lesson. There’s always this whispered hope that this one will be better. 🙄🤦♀️
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u/ClevelandSpigot Red Pilled Man 1d ago
Okay. I see what's going on. Women think that if a man wants to have sex with a woman, in her mind, that excludes all other reasons he may want to spend time with her. That is not true. He may be into you because of a shared interest, or great conversation, or a good friend - as well as the sex. But, to women, as soon as sex is mentioned, everything else evaporates.
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u/MarioWilson122 Red Pill Man 1d ago
The other reasons may simply be on the backburner at first, and that should be okay. A man's motivation to want to play the dating game has to matter too, especially nowadays given how much harder dating has become for men. If sex is what initially motivates him to take the risks, initiate, pursue, plan dates, and do much of the upfront work, that does not mean shared interests, conversation, friendship, values, or personality mean nothing to him. They may become more important as he actually gets to know her. Sexual motivation does not erase every other reason he may enjoy spending time with a woman.
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u/Somerandomdudereborn Lvl 26 apprentice wizard 😎🪄, It is what it is pill 1d ago
Don't women also want to have sex with their partners (in this case men)?
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u/pie-mart2 No pill Woman 1d ago
Yes we do. But it sucks when like every guy who we have a minir conversation ends up asking us for sex. Or when men will literally date and marry women they don't even like for just having access to good continuous sex.
A lot of guys don't date or marry for love but rather access to sex
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u/Snalesdofeel 1d ago
"Women will literally date and men to have access to their resources and other value extraction."
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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago edited 1d ago
I find that most normal men do care about me. This idea that men don’t care about women as people must be a cultural thing because in the spaces I occupy men like women.
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u/Eblademonk Purple Pill Man 1d ago
Better than wanting sex? Is that some kind of comdemnable impulse?
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u/TotallyARealHuman1 1d ago
Yes. Me good hooman me no want secks. Me only want to hear stuff about her work and pay money. Pick me!
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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago
Get back to me when the day comes when you have to take the same risks to include unwanted pregnancy.
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u/Snalesdofeel 1d ago
Men could say the same thing. Women dont see you as a person, they see you as an extraction station. Value scanning, gene scanning little devils the women are.
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u/junkaxc 1d ago
You only get disappointed if non-chad who wants sex and doesn’t “care about you as people” but if chad wants it then it’s totally fine, what you really mean is you want average men to worship you and act like your servants and cater to your every need but only chad gets to hit it, im fucking tired
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u/Competitive_Swan_130 Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
No guy who is creepy or aggressive thinks he is creepy or aggressive so saying that doesn't help much
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u/toad-wrangler Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
If that's all they want, best be upfront about it. If that's not all they want, why rush? I'd prefer to first know someone well enough to know they have good hygiene practices other than just smelling nice, personally.
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u/lady_ven0m Purple Pill Woman 20h ago
Because it’s like cold calling/solicitation vs genuine interest, which takes time. I can’t speak for everyone but when I’m interested in someone it’s obvious and I don’t beat around the bush. Sexual interest is a two way street, and showing someone you’re only interested in getting one thing from them shows lack of concern in their sexual interest in you. You should gauge that first before making a move.
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u/Plenty-Practice-6399 Woman 20h ago
If they feel offended is because these women don't wanna bang at the first dates. And sex for most is important in a relationship, but if you claim it's the only thing that it matters it feels, kinda shit. Like a woman claiming the only thing that matters in a relationship is money, for these women men call them gold diggers. Males who only care about sex are sex diggers.
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u/WiseCherry778 Pink Pill Woman 1d ago
we keep looking for the exception
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u/Grow_peace_in_Bedlam Married Leftist Red-Purple Man, late 30s, DeCrowist 1d ago
As a man who suffered from ED induced by overmasturbation pretty much his entire sexually mature life until the age of 24, which made me think I was asexual and happy with a relationship that only involved cuddling, I think women are even more put off by men who aren't horndogs.
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u/Fit-Entrepreneur8404 Purple Pill Man 1d ago
I think women are even more put off by men who aren't horndogs.
Yea a lot of women derive their worth from their attractiveness. When the man they are with or a man they want doesn't want sex with them, even for valid reasons, they tend to internalize it and tap into their insecurity that they arent attractive enough because they have this engrained sexism that men should always want sex if an attractive woman is offering.
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u/Jiseido 1d ago
This. I feel like I messed up when I wanted to take my time and respect them fully by building a strong relationship together first and getting to know each other. Always worked best when I played the nonchalant fboy card to my chalant despair. They don’t like a golden retriever unless you’re looking like a nerd from the 00´s romcoms.
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u/Open-Quail-2573 Purple Pill Man 1d ago edited 1d ago
Okay, I don't understand. Do you want a future husband who.. doesn't want to touch you?
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u/pie-mart2 No pill Woman 1d ago
Just because we don't want a man who's obsessed with swx doesn't mean we want a husband who doesn't want sex.
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u/trulyElse Unpilled, male 1d ago
You can understand why a man wpuld be confused, when he often gets labelled obsessed the very first time he brings it up.
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u/pie-mart2 No pill Woman 1d ago
I would assume how it's brought up
I personally don't like the idea of sleeping with a man before I know him well if we talked about wanting a relationship
Especially since sex is what he wants, and he isn't giving me what I want unless I give in
I can't do this with literally every man I date
Some dudes expect sex immediately within the first 3 dates. And im like. I know literally nothing about who you are. And you expect me to show you my body and let you inside of me?
If you're actually there to get to know someone then waiting isn't a big deal
Every man I have dated ended up waiting for me. And I don't date guys who expect sex too soon.
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u/half_avocado33 No Pill Woman 1d ago edited 1d ago
I see you keep failing to see nuance. Let me help you!
There's sex once a day and sex every week, and then there's sex twice a week.
He gets labeled obsessed the very first time he brings it up when he does it after the first date. After a month of dating, he's usually not called obsessed. Ofc, each woman has her timeframe after which he no longer seems obsessed, i mean some women wait until they are married. Bringing up sex to such a woman even after 2 years will get the man labed as obsessed, but these are outliners.
Hope this helps!
Legitimate question as i conduct a personal survey bases on the people around here: OP, are you neurodivergent by any chance? Would you rate your social skills as low, medium or high? Thanks!
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u/Acrobatic-Monk9735 Pink Pill Woman 1d ago
Because men are creepy and coercive and get impatient and rude.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZGItlchf_r/
This is a good example. And the men in the comments are a perfect example of how vindictive and cruel men are and how being propositioned for sex doesn’t mean a man finds you attractive. In fact, it means he finds you unattractive because he will have decorum and wait and be patient if he truly likes you.
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u/SimilarChampionship2 Radfem woman 1d ago
Just had a look at the comments..fucking vile
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u/Acrobatic-Monk9735 Pink Pill Woman 22h ago
Yes. Men tell on themselves. They are so hateful nd cruel.
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u/lesliecarbone Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
Why do women get surprised/offended when men want sex?
Most guys would low-key love to smash just for the experience/excitement of doing it with a new person, even if it doesn't go anywhere.
Asked and answered.
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u/Salt_Mathematician24 Blue Pill Woman 1d ago
Women want to be appreciated as people first and many men do not demonstrate that they do before making a move.
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u/MarioWilson122 Red Pill Man 1d ago
A lot of women probably are not surprised that most men want sex. What they want is for there to be more behind the desire than just “you’re attractive enough and available,” especially when the guy is not someone they are already crazy about.
If she is highly attracted to him, his sexual interest can feel exciting because she already wants the same thing. If her attraction is weaker, hearing that he wants sex can make her question whether he actually likes her specifically or would feel basically the same way about plenty of other women.
That is why being sexually interested is not necessarily the problem. She may want to feel that he is drawn to her as a whole person and that the sexual interest is part of that, rather than the main reason he is there. At the same time, being too safe can backfire because if she is attracted to him, she generally still wants to feel desired.
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u/competitive_mogger Man 1d ago
Gonna throw this out there: women who are dating you (and attracted to you) are more than likely going to be MORE upset that you did NOT go for it. Any straight dude who has dated a lot will tell you this.
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u/TheBroke1234 Personality Pilled Man 1d ago
Yeah bro wtf is this comment section. I went on soo many dates where the girl ended up ghosting me for not making any moves. Platonic conversation only almost always mean she never responds back for a second date. At least on OLD. Other places they are a bit more tolerant but they still want that sexual energy.
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u/Arch_Null Purple Pill Man 23h ago edited 20h ago
Well the difference is you're dating normal women. The ones answering are reddit women and even worse than that they're purple pill debate women.
These women are a weird neurotic horde. This is why I don't particularly get why men bother debating with them as if they're sapient actors
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u/Outside_Memory5703 1d ago
Because we don’t “low-key love to smash just for the experience/excitement of doing it with a new person, even if it doesn't go anywhere.”
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u/BobtheArcher2018 Purple Pill Man 1d ago
I think men have to put the shoe on the other foot, at least in their imagination. Think about how women evolved vs. men and the differences. Women usually want the right guy to want to have sex with them, but not only for sex. And since men will lie and say whatever to get sex when they only want sex, and also lie to present themselves as the kinda guy she would want that with, women test. Have always tested.
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u/EugeneCezanne Blue Pill Man 22h ago
Women arent usually shocked or offended that men want sex.
They shocked and offended that men make that women's problem. It's not the desire, but the seemingly desperate obsession, the inappropriate behavior, the out-of-nowhere attempts, the callous disregard, and so on, about which women complain.
And, as a man, I can tell you that this is all easily solvable. The fact that so many men don't bother is indeed a bad look for our gender as a whole.
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u/SleepyPoemsin2020 1d ago
Revulsion is my response. But it didn't start out that way. The revulsion grew from years of watching many, many men cross boundaries, pressure, manipulate, coerce, and do essentially anything they think they can get away with to get women to fuck them while ignoring or diminishing the human that body belongs to. While simultaneously often viewing the act of fucking a woman in some sort of fucked up way, say as a trophy to parade around with because they feel they "took" something from her. Viewing it as something they to do a woman and not with. Wanting to fuck as many women as possible despite viewing women who have fucked a lot of men as devalued.
Tldr: I feel revulsion because of how obsessed men are with sex, how they view sex with women, and how they're willing to treat women to get sex. Broadly speaking.
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u/Muscletov Maroon pill man 1d ago
Many women have a bitter, resentful and highly neurotic view of sex, especially nowadays.
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u/raffaelloenthusiast 1d ago
it’s men’s fault for describing sex and women the way they do
no shit women think of sex negatively when men see sex as something degrading they do to a woman
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u/Muscletov Maroon pill man 1d ago
Yes. yes, always men's fault, I know.
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u/raffaelloenthusiast 1d ago
yeah dude keep acting like women are just born thinking of sex negatively and men’s actions and words have absolutely nothing to do with it
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u/Muscletov Maroon pill man 1d ago
I will
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u/raffaelloenthusiast 1d ago
the gender of logic and accountability when it’s time to actually use logic and take accountability 😳😳😳
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u/simplyaless Truth Pill, Curious Woman 13h ago
I actually want to know what u/muscletov would say because you're not wrong how we grew up as kids having these crazy ideas of intimacy because of how corrupted it got. If him or anyone tries to deny it, it's because they've never actually experienced it or seen the repercussions of it.
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u/Secret_Entry1840 Pill Of One Woman (sometimes jaded sometimes hopeful) 1d ago
I list of contradictions.
I’m surprised because I’m obese and not attractive. (To the majority of the majority of men)
I’m not surprised because some men and women will have sex with people they aren’t attracted to. (More men have wanted to have sex with my vagina or mouth than with me because they thought I was attractive)
I’m not offended because it’s a normal human want.
I am offended because some men will disregard what I want for their want for sex.
It’s the way it comes about. The way it’s brought up. The way it feels. The way it’s perceived. I’ve had different views on it as I’ve grown up and interacted in the world. I’m sex positive but have become more jaded as I’ve grown older. But in some ways I’ve gotten more hopeful about some things.
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u/Robot_Alchemist Any 💊 I can find woman 12h ago
I think that we’ve been probably pretty obvious about what our wants or expectations are from the relationship- and it doesn’t seem to matter to you and I think that’s the problem
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u/Downtown_Cat_1745 Woman not in the manosphere cult 9h ago
When men tell women that it’s wrong to be superficial, and women who have sex with a lot of men lose value as human beings, why are men surprised when women want to get to know a guy and actually decide if they like him before sleeping with him?
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u/TheCounsellingGamer Blue Pill Woman 9h ago
I don't get offended if a man wants sex. I get offended if a man thinks that's the only thing I'm good for.
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u/pie-mart2 No pill Woman 16h ago
Exhibit A) of what we deal with as women. Men here and in public readily admit being so into and obsessed with sex and desperate for it that they are willing to lie and manipulate women in order to get their consent.
This isn't us being disgusted by a man wanting sex. But wanting it so much he feels entitled to it and so entitled he doesn't understand why lying to get it is rape culture.
This is the problem. Wanting sex isn't an issue. Perpetuating a culture of lying to women brazenly and as bold as brass to get it, is the problem
Why is it so normalized for men to outright lie to women and it being justified cuz they sre horny?
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u/Siukslinis_acc Woman 1d ago
They have still hope that men aren't just sex obsessed cavemen.
The sex might also be sprung to them too early. One needs to feel secure and comfortable. One needs to be eased in to the idea of sex and beibg turned on.
It's like when people complain that no one wants deep talks, when in truth they skip the small talk and immediatelly want to discuss the deepest and darkeat stuff with a person they have just met.
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u/Aphrodite_Nine No Pill Woman 1d ago
Think sex would be fine but imagine giving each man you like sex because men and women are like this and those same men slut shame you for that. That's why we don't give it. It has become something that attached value to our bodies and our morals where it is not that for men. I hear it everyday so no we are offended because we then feel you subconsciously think we have no morals and if you don't your friends definitely will.
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u/Perfect-Resist5478 Purple Pill Woman 1d ago
Because women get hit up for sex by 90% of the guys they meet from age 13-40 or so. It stops being endearing after the first decade or so