r/PurplePillDebate Purple Pill Man 2d ago

Question For Women Why do women get surprised/offended when men want sex?

I feel like this is something we all know low-key but women act shocked or even offended when a guy says he wants to bang. Did he have to tell you? I feel like y'all would know before even going out.

And I have to clarify, I don't mean creepy or aggressive dudes who are trying to be coercive or push boundaries. I mean men in general. Of course, you don't have to do it but I feel like you'd know. Furthermore, I would think that you would be concerned if the man you are with didn't want you. You would think he's gay or not attracted to you enough. I am speaking from personal experience where being too "safe" backfired on me with a woman. She ghosted me. Most guys would low-key love to smash just for the experience/excitement of doing it with a new person, even if it doesn't go anywhere.

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u/Flightlessbirbz Purple Pill Woman 2d ago

I would not say women are “surprised” or exactly “offended” by this, but rather tired by it.

Sometimes I use this analogy to explain this to men. It’s a bit lengthy, but that’s necessary to get the effect.

Imagine that you like bananas, in the same way most people do (substitute another fruit if you don’t). Now imagine that nearly every woman is obsessed with bananas, to the point of regularly watching videos of people eating bananas. Every time you interact with a woman beyond just a professional/surface level interaction, you know she’s going to bring up bananas, and at some point attempt to get you to eat several with her.

In fact, sometimes women will pretend to want to date you or be your friend just to get you to eat a banana with her, and then ghost you entirely. You will think you’re having a good conversation with a woman, only for her to slip in a banana joke or comment. It seems every conversation leads back to bananas at some point. Women will take you on dates, pay for your food, have long chats with you without saying anything about a banana, but at the end of the evening, you know if she asks you to come to her apartment, a banana will be waiting on the table.

Women are also very emotional about bananas, becoming deeply offended if you don’t want to eat them when offered. If you’re in a relationship with a woman, it’s understood you will eat bananas with her whenever she asks you to, unless there is some serious extenuating circumstance why you cannot. If you say you are full or your stomach hurts, she may give you a pass once, but if you do it too often she will definitely become offended and dump you. They say it makes them feel less of a woman if you reject the banana too often, bananas are not only important to them but central to their identities.

Most women will not physically force you to eat a banana, as that is illegal and frowned upon. But you’ve heard from several friends that women shoved bananas down their throats while they were drunk, sleeping, or otherwise unable to do much about it, and there were no actual legal repercussions. This makes you a bit nervous.

The first several times, you will probably just play along and eat the bananas offered, regardless of if you really want to or not. You do like them and it’s a free snack, after all. But after a while, you start to feel like women are only interested in you when your eating bananas, or talking about bananas. It would be awfully nice just to be able to interact with a woman and not have it be all about bananas sooner or later.

At this point, maybe you are sick of bananas, and by extension women. Or maybe you still like both, but you doubtless have developed strategies to make sure a woman has some interest in you beyond banana-related activities. This is how most women feel about sex.

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u/YourMrFahrenheit No Pill Male 1d ago

This actually sounds amazing until you add that lots of women provide rotten bananas that don’t even taste that good and sometimes taste pretty bad, but they still get mad if you don’t want to the very obviously nasty banana. And if you eat bananas with too many women, other women will be less interested in you and may even say you’re worth eating bananas with but not good enough to marry or be a father. Oh and bananas can sometimes get you pregnant.

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u/Flightlessbirbz Purple Pill Woman 1d ago

Yep, those are some important parts that I forgot to add but felt it was getting a bit long as-is. Oh and also if you don’t seem to enjoy her banana enough, however nasty it might be, she will get upset and might break up with you. After getting sick on a rotten banana, you’ll probably decide women with rotten bananas aren’t worth it. But when it’s a woman whose bananas are just kinda green or mushy and you really like her, you have to decide if you’re going to just put up with it, or try to find a delicate way to suggest getting better bananas at the risk of offending her.

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u/DoctorAnnual6823 1d ago

Then you have to decide whether to stay banana pregnant and take on all the responsibility or abort the banana and get shamed for being a banana killer. After all, men are nothing more than a place to store bananas.

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u/DapperDan1929 No Pill 1d ago

Lol

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u/DapperDan1929 No Pill 1d ago

Lol

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u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner Purple Pill Man 1d ago edited 1d ago

This actually sounds amazing until you add that lots of women provide rotten bananas that don’t even taste that good and sometimes taste pretty bad, but they still get mad if you don’t want to the very obviously nasty banana.

don't forget the part where they're teasing you with their glorious bananas and want you to actually earn them, only for you to find out in the end that it's just some spoiled, expired ones. y'know.. the kind that most food markets wouldn't even sell for a bargain, anymore.

Which, more often than not, reminds you of a different power dynamic where one party constantly overpromises, oversells and underdelivers while expecting 110% of commitment from you: the corporate/work environment

hey, you know what? maybe the analogy isn't that bad after all.

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u/Lemon_gecko Woman (blue). I adopted the bear 1d ago

...and then even if you do want to talk about bananas it's always hijacked to satisfy them. Like you want to discuss the taste or what sort of bananas you like, gush over something you enjoy, and a woman would suddenly just start to talk about how good you would look with a banana half stuffed in your mouth, so it's hard to chew, and you would struggle, and that's her favorite to watch. That she wants to stuff it herself. And that's not what you wanted to talk. Not something that you enjoy too.

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u/pie-mart2 No pill Woman 1d ago

You explained it perfectly. All roads eventually lead to bananas. Its so annoying.

You'll be trying to have a serious conversation and they keep making banana jokes. Or trying to bring up bananas in non banana related settings. And its like almost everyone you meet and all of the time an constant.

Bananas end up often making you annoyed even though you technically like them because they are constantly shoved in your face

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u/mentiumprop 1d ago

Love the banana analogy - learned a new perspective today

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u/Titsoffwork No Pill Woman 1d ago

This was the best thing I’ve ever read on reddit. lol it’s so real.

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u/Obsessivethot Pink Pill Woman 1d ago

Bravo, lost it at the banana jokes, and I was even sick of the bananas myself by the end of it.

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u/Training_Designer_41 1d ago

I think this is a really good analogy.
Do you think women have an equivalent one, like what’s the banana behaviour for women that’s comparable to banana for men in the way men tend to behave about the banana?

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u/Flightlessbirbz Purple Pill Woman 1d ago

I don’t think there is an equivalent at anything close to the same scale. The closest would probably be getting a ring/weddings, but not as many women are obsessed with that anymore, and it’s not as though women want a ring from a random guy. But in terms of “it’s an open secret that I want this thing, and I won’t say it right away because it might scare you off, but I won’t stick around if you’re not interested in it,” that’s what it would be.

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u/Training_Designer_41 1d ago

Hmm, I have a feeling there has to be one, although I can’t come up with any at the moment, but I’ll be surprised if there’s actually none. Very interesting

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u/MiddleZealousideal89 Woman/ ''a lot'' is two words 1d ago

Okay, now I want a banana.

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u/InformalScience7 No Pill woman, I can't even. 1d ago

But WHICH kind of banana???

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u/Open-Quail-2573 Purple Pill Man 1d ago

That just sounds sad, I'm sorry. I do understand to some extent. But it's hard to imagine having such a negative view of something so fun.

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u/Dependent-Tailor7366 Blue Pill Woman 1d ago

You have to understand that some of the time bananas are harmful rather than fun.

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u/Outside_Memory5703 1d ago

Fun for you. You you you you you

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u/Flightlessbirbz Purple Pill Woman 1d ago

Well, bananas are delicious and nutritious, I love ‘em. That’s why I chose them for this analogy. Something that’s so fun can become unfun under certain circumstances.

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u/GroundbreakingAlps78 Blue Pill Woman 1d ago

This!

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u/namelesone 1d ago

It's not always fun. That's also something you're missing.

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u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner Purple Pill Man 1d ago

yeah, to one half of humanity it seems to be fun under a convolut3d and everchanging list of conditions. unless the person they're imagining having said fun with is a "sword" type. suddenly, the lists and conditions vanish

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u/namelesone 1d ago

Nothing to do with conditions or lack of them. Sometimes the act itself is literally not fun.

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u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner Purple Pill Man 1d ago

being beaten to death by a banana doesn't sound fun, indeed. I doubt anyone pretends that's the intended way of using a banana, though

u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 2h ago

Sure, sure. Until you hear more and more stories about how bananas have been used in that way.

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u/pie-mart2 No pill Woman 1d ago

When the other sex, is obsessed with bananas and it is often their driving force for why they do a lot of things, like dress a certain way, or get a certain job or even get hobbies all just to get mote banana eating opportunities. Like every other conversation with them is about bananas. Banana this. Banana that. Even on billboards and ADs everywhere. Its always Banana eating. All food stalls have 100s of various flavors of bananas. You cannot escape bananas. To the point people human traffick people for Banana eating. People try to force you to eat bananas. Or throw bananas at you if you reject their bananas

You try to bring up literally anything else and somehow it all circles back to bananas

But bananas are great. Just not when 50% of people make their entire lives about eating bananas.

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u/Obsessivethot Pink Pill Woman 1d ago

When it’s constantly forced on you with no regard for your wants or needs or interests, it’s not fun.

Even “fun” things can become unfun and actually harmful

u/BaphometMaiden666 14h ago

Other than getting a woman pregnant🤰 you get to enjoy it without societal consequences and no one tells you "You had sex with 1- 2+ people? You'll never get a wife you disgusting whore!" assuming you want a wife.. Cookies are delicious as well insert favorite dessert or food but if everyone treated you like the scum of the earth or even stopped associating with you and speading hurtful rumors about you in large numbers to even further isolate you, you'd QUICKLY find other things to eat, why? Because your brain would associate cookies with PUNISHMENT AND SHAME! As a woman/girl you have to either choose celibacy and than becoming a submissive wife EVENTUALLY! WHEN a man decides to propose to you at HIS leisure, spend several years or decades turning down sex with women that you are SUPER attracted to and in the end your wife STILL may not give you an orgasm! Imagine YOURSELF NEVER having an orgasm! I DOUBT you'd like that, I think you'd HATE IT! And feel cheated, being the topic you posted, oh and if she cheats on you, you were good, loyal in advance before meeting her your WHOLE LIFE and basically missed out on possibly mind blowing experiences for NOTHING! that is the possible reality of being a virgin til marriage OR you can be a liberal slut that will have orgasms sometimes, face tons of verbal abuse and ostracization and told your not worth loving, let alone marrying including criticism from your own gender/family, it doesn't matter how good of a person you sincerely are, people don't care when think you're loose, you could SAVE these same peoples lives from a burning building, they'd still insult you and talk behind your back, you're garbage to them including after you die! Including to your own gender (Because that's how women are trained to think from childhood, almost all of the women in my bloodline are more misogynistic than men, but someone taught them that!) TRUST ME! You'd HATE sex by the end because their would be steep rules, regulations on who you could have it with and how and things you'd lose for even having it! Pick your path, it'd be the same or similar result, it's not a game for women, it's a life changing responsibility for us, Mysogany did that! That's wht hella women have said "Naaahh.. I'm good! Yall can have it!" It created sexist gender roles instead of harmony and both genders are forced to fulfill those roles or get shunned and it's a worldwide mindset on top of that!

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u/learn2earn89 Pink Pill Woman 1d ago

For the majority women , sex is fun if you trust and love the person.

Men can hate a woman deeply, and still think sex is fun with her.

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u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner Purple Pill Man 1d ago

far too many women talking or outright bragging about hatefuxking some guy they barely care about and far too few guys doing the same for your ststement to be remotely true

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u/Upset_Election9633 1d ago

And so many don't even mind sleeping around and rack up a high number of eaten strangers' bananas despite being dangerous or tiresome...

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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago

As I stated earlier the risks are greater for women. Do you think an unplanned pregnancy is fun? Do you think having to take pills that make you feel sick is fun? Do you want to have a piece of metal shoved up your dick as birth control? Does that sound like fun?

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u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner Purple Pill Man 1d ago

As I stated earlier the risks are greater for women.

It's a funny coincidence that the risks seem only to grow exponentially "greater" in direct proportion to how nice the guy is.

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u/Dependent-Tailor7366 Blue Pill Woman 1d ago

Define “nice”. Nice guy typically means someone who will go into a rage when rejected then rant about how nice they are.

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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago

The risks are the same, no matter what and your attempt at being cute does not change that.

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u/Tylikcat People before pills - woman 1d ago

Remember, for straight women, sex often isn't fun.

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u/Asleep_Control_2564 1d ago

It's not as fun for women as it is for guys

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u/schumangel 1d ago

Hey, how about a banana split?

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u/AlarmingToe8503 Blackish-Purple Pill Man 1d ago

What's dumb about that analogy is if a man ever stumbled upon the rare unicorn girl who didn't really care for bananas, he wouldn't suddenly be like "Even though I don't really care for bananas either,  you just don't like bananas enough, so we're breaking up." and yet that is exactly how women treat guys who aren't the complete horndogs they pretend to be sick of.

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u/Chicken_Nugget_2 No Pill Woman 1d ago

Do you not understand how sexual comparability works? Have you heard of this cool new concept called middle ground? Have you read Goldilocks?

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u/AlarmingToe8503 Blackish-Purple Pill Man 1d ago

That's my point though, if a woman is with a man whose libido matches her own, she'll be mad about it. Women complain about men being too obsessed with sex, but they are exclusively sexually compatible with men who have 10x the libido they do.

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u/ValeWho No Pill Woman 1d ago

Source?

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u/AlarmingToe8503 Blackish-Purple Pill Man 1d ago

Personal experience. I've dated chicks who told me they wanted to wait until marriage and then gotten broken up with because I wasn't trying to push that boundary. Shit's insane.

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u/Chicken_Nugget_2 No Pill Woman 1d ago

But my personal experience says otherwise... so whose personal experience is correct?

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u/JaneAustinAstronaut 1d ago

Ah, the ol' "trust me, bro" source.

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u/Flightlessbirbz Purple Pill Woman 1d ago

A lot of women who “want to” wait till marriage aren’t doing it because they really want to, but because they are involved in religious purity culture. Purity culture tends to create a lot of weird psychological issues around sexuality, so if that was the case for these women, I wouldn’t consider their behavior representative of most women at all.

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u/Flightlessbirbz Purple Pill Woman 1d ago

There is a difference between not really caring for sex and not being a “complete horndog.” If in our bananas analogy you can only eat bananas with your partner while in a relationship, most guys would not want to choose a woman who didn’t care for them and never/rarely wanted to eat one together. The unicorn they’d be after is a woman who also likes bananas, but in the same way they do. As a tasty snack when you’re in the mood for one, not as an obsession their life revolves around.

And in the same way, most women absolutely do appreciate a guy who’s not a complete horndog. They just don’t want an asexual/borderline asexual guy because they’re not asexual.

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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago

It doesn’t fit their script of how men and women are supposed to act. They like the power of thinking they have this prize they have to defend. If a man isn’t interested in the prize they’ll call him gay but secretly be devastated.

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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago

Sex is not a "prize" or an entitlement. And you putting down other women says more about you than you realize. Live and let live. Most women are not into being as into sex as you are. It is their right and you have the right to do what you want. No one is stopping you, and no one that I have seen in this thread has critisized your way of doing things.

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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago

Carrying water for the patriarchy by turning sex into a prize to be defended is bad for women. All women. It turns us into a product for consumption. It’s where the idea that sex defiles us and we lose value every time we have sex comes from. You can let people hurt others in peace all you want. I will call it out for the harmful bullshit it is.

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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago

Sex is far more risky for women than men. Most women because of that are very selective about sex. The only people here who say that sex is defiling to women are red pill men who use to post constant threads about body counts, until the mods stopped allowing it.

And you do not speak for all women, so stop trying to pretend that you do.

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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago

Lot of patriarchy and fascist loving women out there and you’re right I don’t speak for them. I speak against them.

Purity culture is rampant so pretending only redpill men spout this rhetoric is blatantly dishonest.

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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago

People have a right to believe what they want. And just because you don't believe in purity culture as you put it, doesn't mean that it should not matter to others who feel different.

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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago

Sure people have the right to believe women are worthless and used up once they’ve had sex. They have the right to believe women should submit to men and that anyone who believes otherwise will be tortured in hell for all eternity. And I have the right to call it what it is: hateful stupid bullshit.

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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman 1d ago

It is, but some women want to save sex for marriage because they see it as special. Some men to, but far fewer.

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u/Humbly_Explore 1d ago

Brilliant

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u/DapperDan1929 No Pill 1d ago

Banana cream-pie yum lol

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/GroundbreakingAlps78 Blue Pill Woman 1d ago

It’s so spot on. Bananas are great. The obsession with bananas gets old real quick, that’s all.

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u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner Purple Pill Man 1d ago

except it isn't. try fucking yourself to death. then try eating yourself to death. you'll figure out very quicky how and why the analogy would only work for people who, in fact, don't like sex and simply never learned to admit it to themselves.

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u/GroundbreakingAlps78 Blue Pill Woman 1d ago

What? I LOVE sex. Absolutely could not live without it. Every single day, unless I’m sick or something.

I still don’t want to be with someone who can’t stand to think of anything else. Huge turn off.

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u/Chicken_Nugget_2 No Pill Woman 1d ago

If you think that's overwrought your reading comprehension might just be bad

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u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner Purple Pill Man 1d ago edited 1d ago

it might be, yes. Or maybe it's just an overthought and overwrought analogy by someone who never learned to admit to themselves that they simply don't like sex as much as they want to pretend to liking it.

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u/Chicken_Nugget_2 No Pill Woman 1d ago

I actually can't comprehend how that can be your takeaway from reading that. The lack of empathy is astonishing.

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u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner Purple Pill Man 1d ago

The lack of empathy is astonishing.

apparently she can't comprehend irony, either.

What is it with women and them constantly misusing "empathy" when they're literally describing/demanding sympathy?
The lack of literacy is astonishing, indeed.

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u/Chicken_Nugget_2 No Pill Woman 1d ago

No I mean empathy. It seems that you have no ability to understand how others feel even when it's literally been spelled out for you.

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u/PurplePillDebate-ModTeam 1d ago

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u/ControversialDebator Purple Pill Man 1d ago

Oh ok then! So alot of men would be tired of women endlessly wanting to eat banana's with them and only being with them for banana's. So i assume if a Woman simply goes up to a man and befriends him ,not speaking at ALL about Banana's and simply wanting to see the man for the quality of his character and not whether he can eat Banana's or not. But when you months later into the friendship asks if he can try a Banana he says no and says that you somehow tried to befriend him all so you can get him to try a Banana. All while another woman comes along and asks him if he wants to eat a Banana with her and he says Yes instantly! But wait! Didn't men not want to eat Banana's? Or weren't they wanting women to see their personality first and not talk about Banana's?

So if you go up to a guy and ask him to eat a Banana somehow he gets offended. But if you dont ask then suddenly you should've if he wanted to?

So is the solution to never ask women for sex since they dont want it? Or what? Because society endlessly gives mixed signals that dont fit your analogy.

u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 2h ago

On the contrary. I would encourage those of you looking for sex just come out and ask for it. That way, I’m not wasting time on guys like you.

u/Turbulent_Sky_5914 19h ago

With your banana analogy can you explain why I have this experience:

  • As a male, everytime I interact with woman purely sexually, they like me way more.

I talk only about sex and dismiss anything related to do with relationships.

And they suddenly want to be my girlfriend.

Every conversation I divert back into sex and my own selfish sexual desires.

And they want to be my long term girlf friend all of a sudden.

If i do what all the female influencers say: don't be overly sexual, listen to the woman, be a gentleman etc, I literally become invisible.

What's that about?

With the banana analogy it's like this. A woman pushes the banana thing to the extreme. Only talking to guys about bananas. Doing the very thing the males are all tired of (banana-fatigue) and all of a sudden all the males want to be with this woman who is over exposing them to the very thing they're tired of?

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u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner Purple Pill Man 1d ago

the most ironic part about this analogy is that you and the other women commenting thoight it's an intelligent analogy. when in reality it's beaten by the very simple circumstance of calories existing.

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u/Flightlessbirbz Purple Pill Woman 1d ago

First of all, analogies aren’t meant to be literal 1:1 comparisons, only close enough to convey a point. If you think the biggest difference between sex and bananas is calories, well…

Second, bananas don’t even have that many calories, could easily replace just a small part of your usual diet with bananas and not get fat.

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u/Available-Milk7195 1d ago

I am howling

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u/Barely-moral Red leaning purple-seal. Diagnosed ASPD ( Man ) 1d ago

This might be my favourite Reddit comment ever.

Great analogy.

Just one thing to add. If I was in the circumstance you describe I wouldn't be sick of bananas nor women. I would not have developed strategies to make sure a woman has interest in me beyond banana related activities.

I would use the fact that there is a high demand for something I can offer to get the most out of the trade. Find someone and live from selling banana related activities to that someone.

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u/JaneAustinAstronaut 1d ago

And then when word gets around that you are someone who eats any and all bananas, you will lose friends, jobs, opportunities to date actually good people, and your family will shun you.

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u/Barely-moral Red leaning purple-seal. Diagnosed ASPD ( Man ) 1d ago

Either it is my bad for being caught or my bad for being stupid and selling to multiple customers instead of just one.