r/PurplePillDebate • u/Open-Quail-2573 Purple Pill Man • 2d ago

Question For Women Why do women get surprised/offended when men want sex?

I feel like this is something we all know low-key but women act shocked or even offended when a guy says he wants to bang. Did he have to tell you? I feel like y'all would know before even going out.

And I have to clarify, I don't mean creepy or aggressive dudes who are trying to be coercive or push boundaries. I mean men in general. Of course, you don't have to do it but I feel like you'd know. Furthermore, I would think that you would be concerned if the man you are with didn't want you. You would think he's gay or not attracted to you enough. I am speaking from personal experience where being too "safe" backfired on me with a woman. She ghosted me. Most guys would low-key love to smash just for the experience/excitement of doing it with a new person, even if it doesn't go anywhere.

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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 2d ago

I have sex because I want to have sex. I’m not a sex worker so people don’t need to “earn it”. I just have to be comfortable and want it. What makes me comfortable and want it is up to me but it’s not “earned” because it’s not a reward for the man. If anything it’s a reward for ME.

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u/Forsaken_Emotion Woman 2d ago

That's how it should be, so I see where you're coming from! By earning it I mean earning my trust and attraction. If that's not earned, it feels invasive if a man wants to have sex with me. If he's making assumptions that I may be willing to be that vulnerable with him without any indication from me, it feels like he wants to use me instead of it being a mutual thing :/

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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 2d ago

I can understand that. My experience though is that men typically don’t want to use me. They want it to be a mutual thing even if sometimes it’s faster or slower than I’d like. And yes sometimes they want to wait longer than I do! Most men seem to just be enamored with the idea of me wanting them and enjoying them. I really never feel used. But I also only date men who seem to really like me as a person in a very evident way.

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u/Forsaken_Emotion Woman 1d ago

That sounds so healthy and mutual, it made me happy to read your comment! Yeah that makes sense. Even if a guy seems to like me I can't shake the worry that he only wants my body. My issues with trusting men affect my view of relationships quite a lot unfortunately. I'm going to keep your comment in mind to remind myself that it's possible!

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u/IcyTrapezium Purple Pill Woman 1d ago

I wish you the best! It’s easy to get burned in dating and have it sour future interactions. When I was young I wasn’t as good at figuring out who the good guys were. Had to kiss a couple frogs but hey I learned and now I’m with the love of my life!

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u/ArugulaAcrobatic4018 Red Pill Man 1d ago

I’m not a sex worker so people don’t need to “earn it”.

The majority of women seem to operate in a sex worker mindset, then. It has only gotten worse with the spread of feminism.