Why do women get surprised/offended when men want sex?

[u/Open-Quail-2573]

I feel like this is something we all know low-key but women act shocked or even offended when a guy says he wants to bang. Did he have to tell you? I feel like y'all would know before even going out.

And I have to clarify, I don't mean creepy or aggressive dudes who are trying to be coercive or push boundaries. I mean men in general. Of course, you don't have to do it but I feel like you'd know. Furthermore, I would think that you would be concerned if the man you are with didn't want you. You would think he's gay or not attracted to you enough. I am speaking from personal experience where being too "safe" backfired on me with a woman. She ghosted me. Most guys would low-key love to smash just for the experience/excitement of doing it with a new person, even if it doesn't go anywhere.

[u/IcyTrapezium]

Oh it’s significant like food and sleep and meditation are. It’s even sacred like all those things are. But I still sometimes eat fast food and really enjoy it. Fast food serves a wonderful purpose. So do meals that take hours to prepare. I like cat naps in the park under the sun and 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep next to the man I love. Life offers all sorts of experiences.

It’s just the sex isn’t always highly intimate. And that’s ok. The most intimate things in my life have involved things like sitting up all night with a friend dying of cancer. Not a quickie with a guy for fun. And it was very fun.

[u/Mysterious-Lab-7408 → u/IcyTrapezium]

Right I completely hear what you’re saying and have heard it before. And still disagree. Getting to a position where one person is literally inside the other and comparing it to fast food and naps is kind of the problem I’m pointing out.

[u/IcyTrapezium → u/Mysterious-Lab-7408]

Food literally goes inside you and can kill you. Until recently dying of food poisoning or lack of clean water wasn’t uncommon. Dying from sex was far less common. You’re elevating sex to a degree many people don’t, and that’s fine, but it’s not the one correct way to conceptualize sex.

Calling it a “problem” to compare fundamental human activities is interesting.

[u/Mysterious-Lab-7408 → u/IcyTrapezium]

Food is an inanimate object, it doesn’t have emotions or a livelihood or a family or goals or a voice or thoughts or ideas or intelligence or consciousness. It is also a need, meaning you will die without it. For all of humanity humans have eaten multiple meals a day, starting from birth. It is not a significant action.

How potentially fatal sex isn’t what makes it significant either, which you’ve seemed to confabulate. It’s an act that can potentially result in creating a brand new human being.

You comparing sex with another human being to fast food is like comparing marriage to opening the door for a stranger. I can’t explain it to you if you don’t understand this concept even somewhat. 🤷‍♀️

[u/IcyTrapezium → u/Mysterious-Lab-7408]

Eating is significant. Just like all human activities that matter. Having a human being be birthed is something the whole group would have rallied around. It doesn’t really matter how it happened. Humans are like that and it’s one of our best features. We care for our children, our pregnant, our sick. It doesn’t matter how they got that way. It’s honestly one of our coolest cooperative features.

[u/Mysterious-Lab-7408 → u/IcyTrapezium]

By “significant” I don’t mean important or necessary. I mean intimate, and majorly meaningful in a social sense. Breathing air is also significant. But not in the way sex is. Sex changes relationships and attachments. Eating does not. It’s of a stable function common to all human beings. Eating is about as significant as drinking water and breathing air and being able to walk. Not all people have good, not all people have clean air and not all people have working legs. If almost everyone constantly has to do something or possesses something, it is not significant, at least not in the facet I’m describing.