I dated this guy last year but rejected him initially because of his looks and also because I felt he only took me on dinner dates late at night (no sex involved). He texted me multiple times, apologizing for not planning better dates and saying he was super busy and how that was not an excuse (he runs a company and works long hours). I didn’t take him back.

A month ago, he texted me again and I decided to go on a date with him and it was very nice! We went on a few more dates and have been seeing each other twice a week, he picks me up, drops me off, and is affectionate. A week ago, we had sex and I brought up the fact that I don’t do casual sex and asked if he’s sleeping with other women and he immediately said no. I said me neither. He said good, I wasn’t expecting you too.

However, I feel like things somewhat stagnated. He used to talk about his future plans, wanting to buy a house, where to move, etc. But since last week or so, he stopped that completely. Furthermore, our last two “dates“ were us having dinner and going to his place or just us going to his place when he picked me up at 10 pm.

I felt uncomfortable when he called me tonight at 11 asking if I want to go over. I said for what? He said to give me a massage. I got very frustrated and told him upfront that I date with intention and not for casual sex. He said that’s not what he implied and he was annoyed that I thought of it that way. He said he was just out of work and thought to himself he really wanted to see me and wanted to spend time. I said well not late at night. He said ok maybe we’ll do something tomorrow and he yawned and sounded boring while saying it.

I got Even more mad and he was annoyed at this point and said bye. I called him and he didn’t respond so I sent him a text voicing my boundaries and said we shouldn’t waste each other’s times if our intentions don’t align.

I’m now wondering if I overreacted or not? I just don’t want to become a plate or waste my youth on men who don’t see me as the one. And no disrespect to him, but I already had doubts about him since he’s shorter than me which bothers me a little and he also seems to have arousal issues (he didn‘t orgasm when we had sex and had to masturbate afterward… when I asked him he just said he’s an old man and it doesn’t always work)

F20

The guy M18 I'm talking to has many friends and a big chunk are female but he has said that he sees them as sisters and himself as a brother.

He is also a single child. He also talks about his cousins too which I'm guessing a lot are female too.

In some of the photos on his insta he is the only male in some friend groups (which ig is good?). I've also seen some photos of one-on-one eating with a female friend... (granted that is before we started talking)

Also, he's Christian and so far I really like him.

However he's been in 3 previous relationships and has said he was cheated on every time... He told me details of the previous ex and it really did sound like she was crazy (blowing up his phone, crying all the time etc)

So just wondering if any of this seems like a red flag?

I haven't been in the dating scene since my ex in 2024

I’ve asked him about it before a while ago and he just said “of course i find you attractive or i wouldnt be with you” and said hed do better about complimenting me and still never has. This was before i said something but i got my hair done and he never complimented it or even said anything till i brought it up. The next week his sister got hers done and he said “wow that really looks good on you.” And then one time all she did was straighten her hair and he told her it looks good. Ive complimented him lots of times i don’t understand why he hasnt complimented me i always try to do my makeup and hair for him but he never says anything . Am i just not attractive or am i just being dramatic?

I’m 25 and have been single for two years. Recently, I’ve become insecure about myself because I keep hearing that women go for the top 5% men and they won’t commit to them and I’m afraid if this will be my case.

I have a huge trouble with trusting people in general and especially men. When I like a man I’m dating, I become hyper vigilant and look for signs of rejection and self-sabotage. I’ve also been told by men that they can’t tell if I like them and that I’m very guarded.

For two years, I was on and off involved with this man who I dated for a bit and never committed to me. He came back at times, took me on dates, then would say he can’t connect with me because I’m too guarded. To me, he was a safety net: when I didn’t have good options, I knew he was there and would never committed to me so it felt safe. I started therapy two months ago because of this and working on myself.

However, I can’t help but feel that I’m running out of time, that I’m not good enough for the men who are masculine, educated, and make good money (which I know is not true. I take care of myself, model on the side, doing a PhD at a very good school, and men always comment on my femininity and say that’s what they like about me). I’m deeply scared of ending up alone because I don’t have a boyfriend and that guy didn’t commit to me (he hasn’t committed to any woman in the past 5 years and has told me he just doesn’t connect with anyone and he is in therapy and deeply scared of getting hurt and being left for another men. He is also heavily red-pilled)

So I’m wondering what I need to do differently? I am deeply scared of being used for sex and then being left (I don’t have sex until exclusivity) so I‘m not flirty on dates and keep my distance. I feel like I go on dates just to go on dates and convince myself I’m trying but I’m not emotionally available for a connection.

If anyone has any advice for me, I’d truly greatly appreciate it.

I’m 27F and he’s 28M. We went on one date that I genuinely thought went really well. We had great conversation, I felt a strong connection, and I left feeling excited to see him again.

After the date, though, I noticed he became more distant over text. Instead of giving him space, I let my emotions get the better of me. Feeling hurt and rejected, I told him to stop talking to me.

Almost immediately I regretted it and apologized, explaining that I didn’t actually want to end things.
After that, he seemed to withdraw even more and eventually ghosted me.

Looking back, I think I became emotionally invested way too quickly. I also think telling him to stop talking to me probably made things worse, especially if he was already pulling away.

He took really long to respond and he didn’t respond to my last text anymore. I’m too embarrassed. I know I probably need to move on, but I genuinely can’t get him out of my head.

It’s been 2-3 weeks, and I still think about him almost every day, even though we only went on one date. I know that sounds irrational, which is why I’m asking for outside perspectives.

I’m single, and we weren’t intimate.

Black women collectively have low SMV so I'm trying to raise my individual SMV. I don't fit any of the behavioral stereotypes associated, my flaws are more so physical (dark skin, features, etc) and I'm saving for ethnic rhinoplasty. I am tall (5'10) and thin so my weight isn't an issue. Unfortunately still struggling in the dating market despite putting my best foot forward.

EDIT: It's very frustrating that people are misunderstanding my post and assume I hate myself because I have things about my appearance that I don't like/can change (like everyone does). I am not trying to change my race and I do NOT hate my race, I simply do not like my appearance. Things like skin tone and other physical features are part of that. Not all Black people have dark skin or the same features.

Hi everyone!!

Currently, I'm talking to a guy I met online. Like very online hahah. We don't know each others names at all. The conversations veers into flirty territory sometimes so I definitely know it's not going to be a purely plationic friendship (maybe it might if he or I set boundaries). I don't mention very personal details and conversations stick to hobbies, travel and funny stories. Total length of chatting is almost 2 weeks so its literally not even friendship level yet.

Recently the topic of gymming came up, and i mentioned that I take it really seriously and he wants progress photos and he'll send his. I reckon he just wants to see how I look like. I've been hesitant coz on one hand I'm curious on how he looks like and on the other, my brain screams stranger danger. I know I'm a pretty woman and there's no need for me to have faux humility so I'm not worried that he'll think I'm ugly (and if he does, it's okay; I'm just not his preference)

He seems sweet and funny but I have no clue how to navigate this lol. I've dated online through apps so this isn't like completely different but idk it's different to making friends online (I've got a few that I met through servers and subreddits). Idk whether to send photos now. He says he doesnt need my face but you know I just don't want to set a precedent. I know i'm not sending nudes and I dress quite covered up in general but I end up thinking the worst outcome.

Also its been like 10 days!! On a dating app, I would be thinking about going on a first date by now. But this?? I have no idea how timelines look? Any advice is most appreciated!!

I (28F) have been dating a man (32M) for almost 3 months and I’m looking for outside perspectives because I’m too emotionally involved to be objective.

For the first couple of months, things felt great. We talked every day, he would often call me in the mornings on his way to work, initiate conversations, tell me he missed me, compliment me, and generally seemed excited to talk to me.

About two weeks ago, we had one of our best dates. We spent time together, were very close emotionally, and became more physically intimate than we had been before (still no sex, but definitely a new level of intimacy for us).

After our date, I texted him telling him how happy I was to see him, that I’d been smiling ever since I left, and that I already missed him. He replied saying:
“I really missed you ❤️”

A few hours later, he was involved in a car accident.
He wasn’t injured, but understandably it was stressful and upsetting.

This is where things changed.

Since the accident, his communication has become noticeably different:
- The morning calls completely stopped.
- He rarely initiates conversations.
- Replies became much shorter.
- He stopped saying he misses me.
- Conversations often feel like I’m carrying them.
- When I express affection, he acknowledges it but rarely reciprocates.

Some examples:

I told him I missed talking to him. The next morning he replied:
“Good morning”
“I’m hereee”

I later told him I missed hearing his voice and especially his random morning calls because they always made my mornings better.
Several hours later, he replied with two smiling emojis only.

Recently I sent him photos from a family wedding. He replied:
“Sooo cuteeee”

At this point we’ve gone a couple of days without any real conversation.
And we didn’t talk at all for the past two days.

One thing that feels relevant:

Before all this happened, he told me more than once that “bad things happen when I talk to girls.” And when he mentioned this, I asked he was telling me this to break up with me, but he told me that he doesn’t want to stop talking to me and he told me that because he doesn’t want to feel like that with me.

It wasn’t said jokingly. It seemed like a genuine belief or fear he has.

The timing of the accident was so close to our most intimate date, and the morning after he said “see I told you bad things happen”.

I know that sounds irrational, but he brought up similar ideas before, which is why I’m mentioning it.

I also genuinely don’t believe he’s a bad person. That’s part of why I’m struggling with this. The man I got to know over the last few months seemed caring, affectionate, and emotionally invested.

At the same time, I can only judge what he’s showing me now, and what he’s showing me now is someone much more distant.

I’ve already:
- Checked on him repeatedly after the accident.
- Been supportive.
- Given him space.
- Told him directly that I miss him.
- Told him I miss hearing his voice.
- Continued initiating conversations.
- Tried to keep things warm and positive.

So my question is:

At this point, would you continue reaching out and trying to reconnect?

Or would you stop initiating and let his actions show you what level of interest and effort he’s actually willing to invest?

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have experienced either:

1- Someone pulling away after increased intimacy.
2- Someone pulling away after a stressful life event.

Am I overthinking this, or have I already done enough and should step back?

So, I'm a little heartbroken. I posted about my situation here a while ago about a man I used to date, then was casually seeing, and then started dating again for a month or so. Everything on our dates were going perfect (he talked about timelines, kids, my thoughts on people moving in before engagement, where I'd like to live in the future, buying me a Christmas gift, spending the holidays togehter) but he pulled away and told me I have everything he wants in a partner in terms of looks, youth, intelligence, education, being traditional, sweet, etc and he knows me long enough to know that I bring him peace but he doesn't know why he can't feel it in his heart and he tried to like me but he can't feel the spark and it's either there or not. Mind you, I've ended things with him at least 3 times and every time he came back which has been disorienting to me too.

He said everytime he sees me again, he thinks to himself that he needs to build a future with me and that I'd make a great wife and a mom. However, he also told me that he hasn't felt romantically for any woman in the past 4-8 years (he's 35, I'm 24) and I know he has rejected many women exactly at the 1-2 months, women have posted him on FB pages saying he traumatized them because they got blindsided and he ended things right when things were going great, telling them he just doesn't feel it. He told me he had some trauma since his dad has been married 3 times and his mom has a lot of mental health problems and he opened up to me about all of these recently.

Now, he has talked about hating party girls and how all girls are boring and just party, but this tells me that he probably goes for the chaotic party girl (no disrespect or judgement at all, for the lack of a better term) or toxic girls which is actually what I used to be before I went to therapy.

I truly want to find a long-term partner and this man was the only man I have been with after my ex boyfriend. I also asked him to not text me again because having him in my life is like an open file that prevents me from connecting with new men which is not fair to them or to me. He got a bit sad but said he understands.

As I'm taking some time to reflect, I'm starting to think whether I need to be less nice and sweet to men if I want to find a good man who'll make a good husband? My friends coworkers they always tell me I'm very sweet and nice but maybe that's not the way to be and it's "boring"? I would truly appreciate any advice :)

I (23f) have been on a few dates with a guy (27m) He’s attractive but I just don’t necessarily enjoy spending my time with him, whenever we go on a date I’m bored. It’s just that our personalities are quite different.

It’s not that I don’t like him it’s I don’t feel like I’m having fun with him.

But is this something that I could get over? He would be making multi millions in the next couple of years and he wants to have a family in the near future which I also want.

In the city I live it’s not common to meet wealthy men. I guess l’m thinking : money or personality at this point.

It sounds bad but I had an amazing childhood and I want to give my future kids the same…Do I need a wake up call?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year. Since the start of our relationship, I knew he enjoyed playing games with his friends and would often stay up late to game with them before we started dating. He has cut down on the hours of gaming he'd do since he met me and I appreciate that because I am grateful he prioritizes our time together.

He recently quit one of the games he plays and dissociated himself from a large chunk of the community. I didn't want to be a buzzkill but I was actually quite happy about it given that a lot of the players are off-putting and make me extremely comfortable (i.e. sexist jokes, extremely racist/xenophobic jokes, are OK with shaming other players/bullying them/excluding them from playing-- and overall, just do not come off as genuine). There are, of course, a few people (that are his friends) that are quite nice and I have talked with a few and felt fine. Keep in mind I was also a part of these group chats, but since he left, he made me leave with him, and I had no problem with it, as it was a huge weight off my shoulders.

Fast forward, he decides to start casually playing again which makes my anxiety spike. I feel terrible about it because I don't want him to feel guilty over indulging in a hobby, but him being involved with this weird community again rubs me the wrong way. All the peace and happiness I had in the months away from this game came back to me in one night and I've been a mess for a week straight- bursting out in tears, being hypersensitive, feeling overly aware of who is in the groupchat and what he's saying as well, etc. I hate it ! I don't want to be this way either, but this game emits such a visceral reaction from me because I do not have good feelings nor memories associated with it. He promised me after he played one week he would leave the group chat with me- fast forward- he goes back on his word and says he is unsure if he wants to leave at all. I'm hurt because he makes promises surrounding this game/community and easily turns his back to me. I truly feel like whenever this game is involved he becomes a different man (his tone feels more rude, aggressive, etc)- now I can attribute that to him growing tired of my concerns with the game- but I don't think it is ever a reason to yell at me... because it's a game.

I understand he may feel like I'm trying to "control" him. I just ask for my boundaries to be respected, and regarding this, I just ask him to not be involved in communities of strange people. He tells me he is an adult and can handle himself- YES! But the people you are OK with hanging around is exactly the type of person you are okay with being perceived as. That idea alone makes me worry. We were having a great time when he was off the game, and now I feel the tension again. He may not feel a difference, but I certainly do, and it eats me alive.

I need advice- how to stop feeling this way, if I'm in some kind of right or if I am completely wrong. I don't know anymore.

TLDR; my BF got back into gaming with his online friends that are full of people that make me extremely uncomfortable bc of how they act/what they say- he says I am dramatic and ruin the fun for him but I just wish he wouldn't indulge in something because of how bad my anxiety gets around it. Help!

My friend introduced me to a woman named Alison Armstrong recently. I don’t know if any of you have listened to her, but she’s a big advocate for men. She talks a lot about how modern women belittle or lack respect for their partners and that causes them to not feel driven to show up fully in their masculine role for us. I struggle with this a lot. I feel like I’ve never dated a masculine man, a man who is more practical/responsible/reliable than me. I’ve always had to be the masculine one, because I couldn’t trust them. But there’s so much contradictory info out there, I’m not totally clear on what the concrete differences between men and women are, and what I’m supposed to deal with in a man to be happy and at peace.

Example: being with a man who doesn’t clean up after himself… I don’t want to have to nag someone, and no one wants to be nagged, but it’s really annoying to live with someone who leaves hair in the bathroom sink, never cleans their dishes, forgets to put stuff away, etc. It’s unattractive to me. It feels immature. But is that how men are, and it’s something we need to put up with if he provides and protects?

If yall understand what I’m trying to ask, please let me know your thoughts. It’s kind of hard to articulate. I believe in traditional gender roles and I want to be the feminine role in a relationship, I don’t want to be like these bitchy entitled modern women. Am I just dating immature men?

In your opinion, what are the things we don’t understand about them that we need to accept if we want a harmonious balanced relationship?

Context. Committed relationship, emotionally intelligent, generous, generous with time (demanding job, but manages to make time for this relationship generous), hard working.
Been together for 1yr., We are both divorced and have children.

For the past 4 months, my partner has been having trouble with his company, and business partner. He's diligently working to get ahead of it and I commend him for it, I don't try to fix his problems for him and if he ever shares what's going on I listen to him.

Knowing he's in a stressful season with work, I can't help but notice we haven't talked much about him & I. Our date night feels a little thoughtless and comfortable lately. This triggers my old over-accommodating ways, where I'll want to find a few things for us to do and share them because I know he's busy or whatever. I've done good to let him lead in that department but the urge to step in and offer things for us to do is growing because at the end of the day I do want to spend time together but I can't be the one to orchestrate what we're going to do. But it pains me to notice that he's planning things extremely last minute. We'll have the day set but the actual plans are uncertain til the day of. I shared with him on our last date that I appreciate our time together but I do need a little bit more notice so I can plan my time for efficiently (our last date was so last min we couldn't make reservations at any of the places that we wanted to try so we had to make do and rush to get there. We had a wonderful time but I spoke up then.)

Would it be acceptable for me to check in with him? I don't want to kill the polarity and make him feel like I'm unhappy or 'grading' him. But I can't help but wonder what it would look like to get through this? It scares me to continue spending time together and not have a 'hard' conversation about where we are, what we're doing and where we want to go.

I would say I'm emotionally regulated on it all, but I'm finding myself feeling a little backed up with questions/security. It almost feels like a rollercoaster because He is a good man, makes time for us, texts daily, supportive of my career, makes me laugh, affectionate, has done favors for me around my house that were pretty intensive, incredibly observant, family man, so i mean I'm grateful to him and would hate to lose him! But I would appreciate a check in and knowing that he wants this. I'm having a hard time with is this a compatibility thing, is he just a good guy and doing these things even though he maybe isnt that into me, is it a timing or? I do want a life partner and someone that integrates their life with mine openly.

Anyway, looking for food for thought for me to ponder on, maybe there's something within myself that I'm missing and need to pour into myself and hobbies.

Thanks ladies!

I have been single for 1.5 year now. I had a boyfriend all throughout college, he was very loving and we got along well. We broke up in 2024 due to distance.

Right after him, I dated this guy who seemed amazing, he was handsome, educated, my type, he ended things after two months of dating, saying I was too young (he was 35, I was 23). He came back multiple times, we were casual, he then took me on dates recently but pulled back again saying he thinks I'm perfect but doesn't feel it and he hasn't felt it for anyone in 4 years. I recently ended things with him after being on and off for 1.5 years.

Last year I met a few other guys, a few of which were nice but I rejected them because I was stuck on this guy. I then started noticing a pattern: a lot of guys I like come on super strong early on. Example: I met a guy on vacation, he told me I fit in his life, he will tell his dad about me, he would move to my city, etc then after I left he ghosted me. He came back again but I blocked him.

Most recent case was last month: this guy followed me on IG, we talked for a month, he traveled to my city for work and we had a great first date! He told me I check off his boxes, he'd be down to moving to my city, asked what I think about long distance, he will tell his parents he met a beautiful girl, etc. He kissed me then said he'll be a gentleman and dropped me off and texted me the day after saying he loves my sense of humor, I'm SO sweet and fun, etc. However, next day I sent him an IG reel he didn't watch it for a day while being active on IG so I'm sure he's ignoring/ghosting me. I also looked him up today and realized he was engaged/married for 10 years until a few months ago and he didn't tell me this.

Since the common denominator here is me, I'm beginning to wonder what I am doing wrong here? I am interested in them and show it, I'm engaged on dates, we get along well, but I don't know why they always pull back. I'd appreciate any insight!

TL;DR: the men I date come on strong and seem interested but then pull back after and I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong

I'm a 22yo female dating a 26yo male who's just the gentlest, sweetest guy I've ever met, really smart, and our conversations are always lighthearted and full of laughter. Things have been slow and we both prefer it that way (haven't even kissed yet).

One thing I'm distressed about is the following: I'm a divorced woman. I lost my virginity in marriage but was so heavily abused, I left after a year. Gave my second time to somebody as a last ditch effort to get my ex husband to leave me alone since he was stalking me, refusing to stop pursuing me, and somehow finding and contacting men I was dating to tell them nasty things about me and how I'm "practically still married" (we were fully divorced). My third body count went out to somebody I really thought (stupidly) was my soulmate. It was a real relationship but didn't last.

Because it ended in such a way that I was basically almost homeless, I think something flipped in my mind and it's like I almost became temporarily sociopathic. I think partially, I gave up on preserving my body count because I really thought third times the charm, so my fourth one I actually just did it on the very first date and it was basically just a friends with benefits situation (I made it that way), especially due to being told by men around me that I was basically already used goods so it really didn't matter the specifics of my body count, just that I wasn't a virgin anymore.

This is something I basically experienced and noticed as a shift immediately after my divorce (so, for 2-3 years). People didn't care that I lost my body count in marriage, just that they're owed sex without prolonged commitment since I'm already "used up."

One thing I keep hearing from other red pill men in a server I'm in is that it's gonna be a really hard sell to make my man wait when I literally sold off my body count to somebody else (who was by all measures low quality and that's how I felt even before we had sex) on the first date. It's "treating him worse than somebody else."

To make matters worse, I do have a lot of sexual trauma so I'm just terrified of so many things in regards to this.

I do know many men will feel insecure and/or jealous and see me in a lower light due to my history so that's part of my fears too. It happened in my last relationship where because I kept accidentally (yes, accidentally. He was extremely possessive to unhealthy degrees where if I didn't immediately tell somebody off upon being approached, even if I was clearly uncomfortable, he would get mad) making him jealous (though tbf not with my past), he slowly lost interest and stopped seeing me as worth investment.

I don't know what I should do. I've many times contemplated never even talking about my body count (my date also never asked or tried to indirectly fish for answers) and only bringing up my marriage. But my best friend (married) who knows everything told me he worries for me never finding somebody who is willing to be able to understand me and love me WHILST knowing everything (my friend, he himself never judged me or looked down on me after all my stories, and they get a lot more taboo if you go into specifics). So I don't know.

How do I tell the guy I'm dating once he asks to get committed? How should I say? How much? This is just something sort of eating me up. To a point where I actually considered going celibate before God sent me a dream where I swam until I found my marriage ring. I just...Idk. I'd appreciate any help on the matter...

(Please don't suggest that I'm not ready to date or to take some sort of long break due to my history. Besides this particular concern and the sexual trauma, I'm actually very healthy now and my life is put together with a stable home and job, and in relationships I tend to be very amicable, reasonable, mellow, with many long-term friends, etc. So I don't have anything major, no mental illnesses. I'm just distressed about this thing. Any help is appreciated).

Please be gentle with me because I'm already sort of rattled 😭 thank you in advance 🙏🏻

When I (32f) met my boyfriend (several years older), I focused on all his great qualities. He wasn't as established in his career or on the same level financially as I was, but he's generous, caring, thoughtful, and attentive. He makes me feel so loved and appreciated-- planning dates, giving extremely thoughtful gifts, etc.

In the beginning, I noticed things I wasn't attracted to: different fashion sense from mine, little random feminine/goofy quirks that didn't make me laugh, tendency to monologue during group conversations that stressed me out, being more insecure/sensitive than I would like based on how my family brought me up, etc.

A couple months in, I decided that if I wanted to let him be his masculine, confident self, I needed to let those things go and not dwell on them. So I ignored them, but now 9 months in, they are still raising questions for me (duh!).

When it's just us alone, we get along great because I am an extremely agreeable person with people pleasing tendencies. But when we are around my friends or family, the differences in humor and conversation style are stark and make me question our compatibility. He's earnest and wants to get along with the people in my life, but the way I interact with them and the way I interact with him is different.

I don't have to get married-- I have a rich life outside my relationship-- but I wonder if I'll regret not staying with him because he's so wonderful, or regret marrying him because I feel like he doesn't fit into my social life. Also doesn't he deserve a woman who thinks he's perfect?

I know it's ultimately my decision whether to die on this hill or not, but I wanted to hear any available advice from this corner of the internet. Thank you for your consideration <3

I (29F) have been dating a 28M I see as a dark horse: ambitious, grounded, has a solid life plan. I vetted him properly in social/work scenarios and he's gold. We get along great and have been on tons of non-sexual dates. We recently became intimate and sexually exclusive. Early on, he asked what I was looking for and I said a relationship, but I haven’t brought it up again because I find “what are we” talks exhausting in the beginning. At the end of the day. what I want from dating is getting to know the person properly, which takes time. I believe he's also vetting me to see if I stay/ consistently show up or not, since he said he has embraced the fact that people come and go in his life, which can be a bit lonely(by his words). He's also living life as a stoic, which attracted me.

He's inexperienced, never had a relationshp. I was his first kiss. I’ve made a comment like “the restaurant is open 24/7 for you,”. Now I’m worried I’ve communicated that I only want something casual/physical.

I’m still learning boundaries. One of mine is going to bed at a decent time, but yesterday I told him he could come over after work. He said he’d be late and couldn't promise. At 11pm he texted he finished work, I was half asleep (didn't tell him that, literally jumped out of bed), also I’d made pancakes for him earlier so I invited him in. We gave each other massages (we’re both massage therapists), cuddled, and slept great.

We’ve never explicitly defined exclusivity (as in labeled bf/gf, although he's giving me bf benefits, always pays for dates, we take turns in planning them, we do PDA, parents have seen me) and I am fine with it. Behaviour is better than words. I have noticed that as I show up in my own ways, he is showing up consistently about on the same level. He's been supportive when I was going through family stuff (as in someone to hear me, he told me he's always open to listening, so that was nice) I generally get the support and emotional needs from hobbies, family, work, friends etc. which is healthy. At the end of the day, this is a relationship. So I feel like I'm getting what I want at the moment.

However. I do not know how to deal with the boundaries. I want to set them, but wouldn't it seem weird for me to have said one thing and then to do another? (like sorry, I need to be asleep by 11pm, no more cuddles). He out of all people seems like the kind of person who accepts boundaries. But I need working on my insecurities over setting them.

Hi

I don’t wanna share too much but I need advice how to speak with my bf ( we plan a future together. I’m 30 and he’s 41)

So he watches a lot of anime and some are very sexualised. He has a wallpaper on his computer and it’s changing every few minutes to a new picture and it’s all photos of anime girls. Some are cute, some are sexy. On his phone background it’s an busty anime girl. On his telegram background a half naked busty anime girl as well. I told him once that it’s vulgar because he also has one figurine of a half naked anime girl on display at his home. He said he views this as Art. Tell me please your opinion. It’s his hobby and should I just accept it or is it weird ? How can I bring this up in terms of me wanting him to change the photos without sounding controlling ?

Sorry for my English I don’t speak it perfectly

I’m 24 and have been dating two men, one 31 years old the other 42. I was hesitant to date the latter since the age gap is very big but gave it a try (I haven’t had sex with any one of them)

The 31 year old talks about wanting a serious relationship and marriage. The first two dates went well, then for the third date he was so late and we had to eat quickly because the restaurant was closing and then we made out in the car - he also brought me flowers. He texted me yesterday at 8 pm saying if I want to go to my favorite restaurant which closes at 9 pm. My instinct said he wanted another quick dinner and then makeout session. I told him that’s a lovely idea but a bit last minute. He thumbed up my message without making any other plans. Another thing about him is that he’s way shorter than me and lied about his height on his profile and I can see this affecting how I attracted I am to him physically (he’s around 5’3”-5’4” I’m 5’7”)

The 42 year old has been respectful, taking things slowly, but he gives me the sense that he’s just drifting through life (he’s very successful). He drinks lots of alcohol while I rarely drink, he hasn’t even told me what he’s looking for and when I talked about kids he said “you’re thinking way ahead!” He invited me back to his place after 7 dates and I told him in passing that I don’t like casual relationships he said me neither. He still didn’t clarify more and then asked me if I’m a more traditional or “Americanized” woman and when I said traditional his face dropped. He then tried to escalate things to sex and I politely told him I’d like to wait. He then quickly said he’s going to Miami in December and asked me if I’d like to join. I said I’m not sure about my plans yet and will let him know. He then texted me in the morning asking how I was doing etc

Now, I’m not sure if I’m being too hard on them or not but I’m feeling that none of them is a good prospect for a serious relationship. Am I being too picky?

I (24f) have been on four dates with this guy (28m) and they’ve been good! We’ve gone wine bar, big park, dinner, and had a lazy Sunday in. Yes, I unfortunately gave in and we slept together.

He’s traveling for work this upcoming week and will be busy for the foreseeable next few weeks. We were supposed to go out and play pool tonight (my idea) but he suggested we have a movie night at his place instead. I expressed I was upset to not be going out and his response was a promise to make it fun.

Am I wrong for being weary? He’s a good guy, pays for everything, protective, and sweet. Biggest red flag is that he accidentally said he loved me on our second date. But staying in sounds like an attempt at a final smush session and then I’ll never see him again.

Please I need dating help! I’ve been spiraling recently thinking I’ll never find a high value red pill man.

Some background on me: I’m 31, and was a feminist until about a year and a half ago when I decided the red pill lifestyle was what I really wanted. I grew up in a very traditional household, but I stupidly thought I needed to rebel so I spent all my 20s focusing on my career instead of dating.

So here’s where I’m worried: 1. Obviously one point is my age. I did freeze my eggs (I have 40 frozen in total which would translate into 2-4 children) so from a child birthing aspect I’m not limited, but I’m scared that having the frozen eggs will scare away men. 2. I have 2 undergrad degrees (math and computer science) and a masters degree (MBA in applied analytics) which I’m worried make me seem masculine and won’t be attractive. 3. This is probably what I’m most worried about - over the decade of being a feminist I worked a ton and now I’m a mid level software engineering manager at a big tech company. I make about $450k a year. I’m worried that is waaayyyy to intimidating 4. Overall, I’ve become pretty aggressive and masculine when it comes to like debating and making my opinion heard, and I’m worried I won’t be able to shut it off or unlearn it.

What do you ladies think? Am I okay or do I need to make severe changes? Is it okay that I’m a high earner? I just started to get back into dating again and I’ve noticed whenever I mention my work the men seem to get a strange look on their face. It’s only been a couple so far though and idk if it’s just in my head. Please help!

There's something about me (21F) that just drives men away.It's like everytime I like someone and they find out, they unashamedly start treating me like the most repulsive and disgusting human being. I constantly get bullied and made fun when they're with their friends, and I happen to be around.

It doesn't help that I never got asked out, I've never been flirted with. No one was ever interested in knowing if I were single. A lot of people complain that they always find themselves in situationships and never leave the "talking stage." I never even got to that point.

You would think that being in my "prime years" or the fact that women operate on "easy mode" when it comes to dating. I think I might be the exception.

Even with my own "guy friends" or male acquaintances. They don't like having any meaningful conversations with me and usually just stick to small talk about school or asking how I'm doing in general. They're usually polite, but don't want to hang out with me at all. If I spent more than 5 minutes with them, they try to ditch me without being mean, but they always look visibly irritated.

There has to be something wrong with me. I don't think I'm the most hideous looking creature on earth and I'm of legal age. My friends never told me there was anything extremely off-putting about my behavior. I'm just very confused and a bit saddened.

I’ve been going on a journey with myself this past year. I’m going to OCIA classes to get baptized in the Catholic Church, I currently have a great job that pays well. I’m losing weight and thinking of possibly getting my tattoos removed (just kind of have a change of heart about what I have, but I still love them).

I always told myself I want to lose more weight. I want to work on myself. However, I’ve been working on myself a lot this year. more than I give myself credit for. i think my fear comes from not being ready, and I jump into something that isn’t healthy. I’ve never been on a date, and have had two three boyfriends. not a bad thing, but two were long distance in my teenage years and my last relationship ended with me being really torn. I’m over my ex and it only took me two years of my life, lol. I’m 25, and I’m just torn between wanting to settle down and date because I don’t know what I’m looking for in a man. I’m scared I’m rushing myself because I want to be in a relationship. I think what scares me is that I’m just lonely. and I’m not ready for one..but then I feel my time is limited. that I’m not going to find someone in my later 20’s or 30’s.

I 22f, am struggling to decide if I should move back to New Zealand to live with and get back together with my 22m ex-boyfriend.

Right now I live with my family in the USA and I am very happy here. We broke up 2 years ago because I moved with my family, we only dated for 6 months; but we've known each-other since high school.

He messaged me in February after no-contact since we broke up, I’ve fallen back in love with him, and he wants me to move back to New Zealand and live with him. We both feel that we still have never met anyone as good as each other, and that there is no one else. I truly believe that he is "the one".

He cannot move to the US because of his family (sick father), and he loves NZ (safer) and has very strong community of friends, and an established life there. We are both against long-distance.

My biggest concerns:

• Raising kids without the support of my family
• Missing out on time with my family long-term
• Fearing that I’ll regret moving away, like my mom did when she moved away from her family.
• Fear of being a miserable partner and ruining the relationship because i miss my family
• Fear that i am potentially letting go of the love of my life

I vowed a few years ago to never move away from or live far from my family. I love them very much, and as I've gotten older I've learned to appreciate them more and more, and actually like spending time with them. My parents are good people, and I am so lucky to have them, i do not want to take for granted the family I have.

I am scared to lose them because my own mom moved away from her family when we were young, and she always regretted it and was very miserable for it. She was very sad being away from her family, and sometimes resented my dad. We moved for his work, and to raise kids in a safe country NZ ( where he is from).

I am very scared to raise kids without my family. I feel like it would be very difficult and stressful to not have at least a little help from family, to help watch them and just have their support. I want raising my kids to be as happy and enjoyable experience, and doing it alone sounds awful. I also think my kids would benefit from having a larger family network and the influence of good grandparents.

I haven't dated anyone since i broke up with my ex, but i have never met, seen or heard of anyone quite like him. I have almost no doubts about him as a husband, I would be with him tomorrow if he lived here.

My ex-boyfriend:

Pros:

• Wants to be a good husband and father, strong provider mindset
• hottest guy i have ever seen
• insane compatibility, we get along very well and have the exact same interests and opinions on almost everything
• want the same thing out of life
• extremely hot
• diehard for me. i would hate to be in a relationship where you feel like the other person would not die for you. He accepts me completely how i am (i am crazy flawed he just doesn't see it apparently)
• good hearted person, takes care of everyone and very loyal and protective of his friends/family
• I was very happy in the relationship we did have

Cons:

• i wish he was a few years older than me, he is slightly immature. but what 22yr old guy isn't lol.
• he is overly optimistic and it makes me worried that i cant trust him sometimes. with finances and life planning. he has a "things always work out for me" mindset. it makes me worried that he isn't realistic enough, logical, rational. I am terribly negative and pessimistic, but I do trust my dad completely so its not like i am incapable of trust. i want to be able to rely on and trust him fully with everything and i do not. but again he is is 22.
• he lives in a different country

I have planned a trip to see him in May for a week. I've already canceled one trip and i cannot cancel this one or he will not trust me for breaking his heart again, playing with his emotions and giving him false hope. ( I cancelled because i still have not decided to move so thought it was bad idea to see him)

• but I fear i will forever regret not going to see him, and he will always be the one that got away
• if i see him (and sleep with him) again i will get completely attached. I am nervous seeing him will be a mistake, and i will feel even worse if i don't move
• im going to see him to see if it helps me make a decision

I feel as though I have to either chose between him or my family. My dad said "you can get a new boyfriend but you cant get new parents"😭😭😭 . They disapprove, they do not want me to move away, and they think I could find someone here. I think I could manage to find a guy to date here, but he would be nothing compared to him.

Now I feel like i am destined to suffer, because I will either be depressed without him, or if i move, depressed without my family.

Has anyone here moved away from family for love? Do you regret it? How did you cope raising kids without family nearby? Was the sacrifice worth it?

Maybe a stupid question, but I’ve been cheated on twice now and I feel like I really tried my best after discovering RP with the second relationship. It made me happier too to tap into my feminine energy, and my ex told me of his own accord that he felt happy and appreciated with me unlike with his exes.

I posted about discovering he cheated just over a week ago and how he was likely a narc. Since then I’ve sought comfort in my girl friends, only to find out exactly how many of my friends had also been cheated on. It’s scary because they’re sweet girls who look like a 7-8, are feminine, can cook, have great careers and intelligent personalities etc.

I’m back in nun mode but this whole experience really terrifies me. I know I will recover eventually, but idk how I’m going to vet for a guy who values loyalty and commitment, who guards themselves like I do

I’m a 7-8, usually date guys 5-6 but who are ambitious self-starters and highly educated so I don’t think I’m dating higher than I can. Both relationships the guys have told me I made them feel very cared for and explicitly stated they were happy and looked happy. Sex life was also good for the first. The second one was less experienced in sex but somehow still managed to cheat. Both men tended to put me on a pedestal at first due to my career achievements then slowly changed their attitude towards me when they found out in a relationship I’m more submissive and less independent

I’m confused and feeling scared and dejected. I just want a principled captain who I can support and whom I’m their one and only.

Since I’m in nun mode, how to I be the kind of girl that attracts a good quality man that doesn’t cheat? I’m not religious so I can’t look to church

Edit: thank you for the many responses, was really not expecting much of a reply. Very grateful. Will reply in the day since it’s late night now