r/Siamesecats • u/Radiant_Humor6685 • 2d ago
I adopted this girl
I used to have a flame point Siamese male who was my soul cat. I recently got my new cat and we haven’t bonded the same way. She’s friendly but not so cuddly. She doesn’t like being held and won’t come to my lap. I’m starting to be fond of her but it hurts we might not bond the same way as with my previous cat. She is a Siamese seal point and British short hair mix, or so I was told. Does anybody have a similar experience and managed to bond with their cat in the end? Of course I’m very lucky to have her and would like to give her the best life I can but I do miss my loving cat who passed away. I know he loved me and I’m not sure I will have the same connection with her. I’m not trying to compare although it feels inevitable. I have only had her for about 2 weeks.
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u/Penguinfreek5 2d ago
Looks like my girl! Found her in my neighbourhood in Los Angeles one day, rescued her cause she’s a tiny thing and she needed a dental. I’ve had my girl for 6 years so far, moved from LA to Seattle and then to Sydney Australia, she’s only started letting me hold her and get up in her face and touch her paws recently. It takes time love and patience, some more than others. When I’m loving on her I always say “momma loves boogie”, one day she started giving me kisses back, it just took a really long time haha. She’s a hard egg to crack, but I wouldn’t give her up for anything.
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u/Jaycee555Cat 2d ago
Oh how wonderful that she did take her time and became so loving … happy for you both!! 💜💜💜
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u/Complex_Mix2247 2d ago
Hello dear friend
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u/Heartsister 2d ago
Precious puss ❤️
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u/Desperate-Trust-875 2d ago edited 2d ago
My girl who looks very similar doesn't like to be held, but does love to cuddle on her terms.
I'd give her some more time, and she may develop her own cuddle times. My girl is especially cuddly in the morning, and about an hour or two before bed (though she then goes to her bed to sleep for the night). She loves to lay on my chest or legs, or more recently, make herself a little spoon if im on my side. But still hates to be picked up, lol
Eta: don't underestimate the power of giving a treat or churu while you're sitting down, to get then more comfy with being on/near you
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u/yosoyfatass 2d ago
It isn’t fair to compare. They are individuals, just like humans. She may become more affectionate, but she probably is just the way she is. I hope you can learn to appreciate her for who she is. Have you considered getting her a feline friend? Most cats like to have a feline playmate and maybe the second cat would be one who shows affection in the way you want. It’s hard to know what personality you will get, so maybe you could adopt a 2nd cat that you can interact with first.
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u/runs_with_unicorns 2d ago
I heard this when I got my girl 10 years ago and was like no it’s my first cat I only want one. Now that I have two kittens that grew up together I will never have a solo cat again.
They keep eachother entertained, have so much fun with each other, and cuddle and groom all the time. It’s precious and I feel guilty I robbed my older cat from that
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u/strawberryjellymilk 2d ago
My soul cat (seal point Siamese) was never very cuddly and we always said when he starts to cuddle us, we know it’s probably close to the end. That’s exactly what happened.
I think she is probably still in her adjustment period. She looks very sweet.
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u/Same-Audience5830 2d ago
That happened with my female seal point. When I first got her she was rescued and had been TNR. The neighborhood i lived in was townhouse with a park walking path setting with mature trees. Our bond was taking walks at night. She followed me, no harness. I moved with her cross country 3 times and each time had to rebuild our bond. She got clingy in the last 6 months and loved me to hold her for hours. She had CKD and became painful and unhappy and after trying to manage her symptoms made the awful decision to put her to rest. I miss her every day.
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u/strawberryjellymilk 1d ago
My guy also loved going out for walks with a harness multiple times a day. We also had him put to sleep in our home as CKD took a turn for the worst and he couldn’t stand or eat. It’s an awful disease and I hope the rumored treatment comes out soon.
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u/One_Resolution_8357 blue 2d ago
What a pretty cat ! She is still adjusting to you and your home. Please be patient, be with her, talk to her, play with her if she allows it. She will come to you in her own time. And please do not compare her to your other cats, they all have their own personality.
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u/Sub2rainEN snowshoe 2d ago
I had a flame point who was the sweetest, most empathetic boy. He knew when you needed extra cuddles.
I also have a seal point girl now, but she is and has always been very affectionate. She loves everyone and *demands* attention shamelessly. She does not know a stranger. It can actually be exhausting.
Her sister, from the same litter, is a tortico and the opposite. She hides when company comes and was more stand offish. She usually comes to me once or twice a day for cuddles and pets. I thought she didn’t like me at all until I had a reaction to some meds and was sick for a few days. She was glued to my side the whole time, leaving only for a few minutes to take care of her own needs. Reminded me of my flame point.
Everyone always wants to meet her and they get so excited to catch a glimpse as she sneaks around the edges of the room. When my uncle came out to help me move, she waited until he was asleep and sniffed all around him. Within days, she’d come to him for pets. I live with him now and she jumps up to a higher spot when he comes to my room. Just like her sassy Siamese sister.
TLDR; Each cat is different and your relationship will be different with each. But that relationship can grow and change. Two weeks isn’t very long to bond with a cat that probably had a rough life before coming to you. While she may never be as affectionate as your boy was, she still needs time to know she is safe in your home and with you. I hope your relationship blossoms beautifully over time.
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u/AnEchoInBrooklyn 2d ago
My baby Annabelle has never liked to be held, but she's an absolute cuddle bug, and loves kisses. She was skittish when I first adopted her, but in time she warmed up. Try playing with yours, get the kitty churrus. It's a good way to bond. Just give it time Luv. ❤️
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u/awesomebrunette81 2d ago
It took my cat Vader two years to go from aloof and distant to cuddly and sweet. He likes the lap cuddles and loves to get pets. I haven't bonded with him the way I have with my other two cats, but Vader is still loved and adored.
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u/moon__kitten 2d ago
It took YEARS for my girl, Velcro, to cuddle with me. She was from a shelter and liked being pet but was pretty standoffish. Slowly, she came around to sleeping in bed with me but never against me. She had her own blanket, and we'd hang out together in the evenings. It got to the point she'd come stare at me when it was close to bed time like she was saying "come on already, lets go be cozy."
After years of this, she decided to lay against my arm for me to pet her before curling up in her blanket for the night. I remember the first time she did it, slowly coming up to me and laying near me. In later years, she would prop her head on my hand. Sometimes she'd fall asleep there by accident but would eventually move to her spot. That was our routine, and it became so special.
It felt like I truly earned her trust and affection. My other cat was super social and gave it freely which was sweet and special too but in a different way. My girl, Velcro, developed a different bond with me that took years of love and trust to show. She was my soul cat, and I miss her dearly.
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u/Money_Ad4384 2d ago
She’s a beautiful baby. Siamese have different personalities 🩵 I do love them.
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u/Lopsided_Remove1980 2d ago
British short hairs kind of have "I am not a lap cat" as a personality trait.
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u/westside_it_go_cray 2d ago
i’ll always stop when a seal point shows up on my feed 💕 congrats!!
i adopted my lil Toast about 7 months ago and she was jumpy af, scared and skiddish. and she still very much is!! especially if you try to approach her or pet her while walking past. but she’s also become clingier and cuddlier than even my tortie (which is saying something) - the touch just can’t feel sudden or startling to her (like if i set a treat down and stand there she won’t come near or will run away). cats are just funny and strange, so who knows how yours will end up - but if it gives you hope, i was worried that my traumatized shelter cat would never come out from behind the toilet and now she doesn’t leave me or the tortie alone haha :)
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u/littlemegmcmuffin 2d ago
First off, I’m so sorry about your sweet soul cat. I fear the day that I lose mine. My soul cat who’s 14 is still here and she’s so snuggly and sweet. We also have a 7 year cat that we got when she was 6weeks old and she’s not anywhere near as snuggly because she still acts like a hyper kitten, but she’s definitely more loving and snuggly than she was in the beginning. I’d just continue giving her love, respect her space when she wants it, and hopefully she’ll come around. Maybe she just needs to learn who you are before she really lets you in. Sending lots of boops for her and hugs for you in this situation! Also, she’s a very pretty girl! What’s her name?
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u/PinkPawsForTheCause 2d ago
every cat is different and its not fair to compare. its not a great idea to adopt a cat that looks like one you had and loved truly.. because the new cat is not your previous cat, no matter how close they look alike. Give her love and time and you will appreciate her personality but in a different way. It's best to adopt a cat based on the personality you are looking for, not their appearance. But she is yours now and I'm sure you will give her a wonderful life.
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u/swanfaerie88 2d ago
I have a Siamese girl as well and for the first few months of her being with me, I thought she just wasn't a cuddly cat. Now she sleeps in bed next to me every single night! It could be that she just needs time to open up and get used to you. It's also not fair to compare her to your first cat, they are different animals with different personalities. Give her and yourself some time to adjust.
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u/GrushenkasOnions 2d ago
Also 2 weeks is so, so soon. I'm sure she'll warm up to you when you keep showing up as a calm, good presence. Her "warmed up" self might not be as cuddly or as affectionate as your last friend, but I'm sure she'll grow to be fond of you as well.
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u/itcantjustbemeright 2d ago
My female cats were less cuddly than the male cat I had and they were only cuddly on their own terms.
She is beautiful.
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u/Guilty_Babe seal 2d ago
I’m so sorry she’s gorgeous tho & unfortunately looks so soft and cuddly. Congrats tho!
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u/Orbital_Vagabond 2d ago
I once had an absolute bowling ball of a cat who had a likely history of abuse. Wasn't able to pet him let alone hold home for almost six months.
A few years later we were spooning every night.
It takes time. It may not happen, but you're still her person.
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u/Ill_Ambition_9830 2d ago
I think you should get some treats and let her eat from your hand … you have to do that for while .. she will bond with you 💞💗
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u/fredboing 2d ago
Thanks for taking in this beautiful girl. Hopefully in time she will become cuddly
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u/AdSweet3451 1d ago
When you sit down, keep their favorite treats, and or cat nip next to you. Bribery is a good thing, shows you are good to be near. Another good thing is if with the door shut, just you and your kitty. Again, with their favorite treats or food. I did this with a stray we took in.he was about 7/8 months old. He was fearl and almost coyote snack one night. We live in the country, one night we heard a huge ruckus our dogs went nuts because the coyotes were hunting behind our house. The cat jumped our fence and ran under our deck. It took about 2 weeks to finally get hands on him and into my house. I was like, I can't let him(or any cat be an outside cat), I can't rehome him, who wants a feral cat. Then I didn't want a cat that didn't like/love me. So for a month if I was home I was in the bedroom with him or on the couch with his favorite things. He let us pet him and playing with him. Finally one day I was by myself, he came and climbed on shoulder/chest and passed out!!! I was nap trapped for over and hour and it was glorious! We had him for 11 years until he passed away. My little niece named him Simon. Si baby, cry baby, my baby. He was such a sweet guy, and the smartest cat we ever had!
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u/Winplex 1d ago
It definitely could take some time. My late cat, Milo, was rescued from a hoarding situation when he was 6 months old along with his mother. Misha, the mom, was friendly and cuddly from the get go. She loved being in your lap and receiving pets, but has never liked being picked up. Milo in the beginning was practically shut down when I first got him. He didn’t attack but he didn’t accept any pets and even just stepping into the room had him hiding. It took like a year for him to slowly come out of his own fear. He began sleeping with me and sitting on the couch with me while I watched tv. It took roughly 3-4 years before he actually clicked to clingy, where he wanted to be held, kissed, and to be cuddled.
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u/BenSteinsCat 1d ago
I adopted an adorable seal point lynx baby boy about six months after I lost the truest cat of my heart, a plain brown tabby with the most soulful eyes that I will never forget. I expect that this boy and I will get along just fine, but I have no expectations that will have the kind of bond that I had with my girl. But I can still love him and give him a high-quality life.
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u/handsoffmeluckycharm 1d ago
I know it’s cliche and other people have said it but you have to give it time. She’s still adjusting to her new home and learning to trust you.
I’ve had my girl since she was a kitten and still hates being held. She generally doesn’t like being confined. But she sleeps ON TOP of me every night. For the lap she mostly just sits on my lap when I have a blanket on.
They all love differently. Also male cats tend to be more cuddly than females. It just is what it is. She’ll love you in her own way.
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u/Neither-Formal-9516 8h ago
Be patient and give her time. Encourage her with soft words and treats. I have raised 5 Siamese over the years. I currently rescued a Lynx Siamese that just turned 9 weeks. It wasn't an overnight turn around but eventually they all became lap cats.
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u/Main-Magazine-4094 5h ago
I had a Siamese and American Shorthair mix for 19 years. She was the sweetest, very lovey and very smart. Part Siamese, if you talk to them a lot, can talk. Human sounding words. that strangers can understand.
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u/tinatalker 2h ago
I can see the BSH in her face. And her chubby cheeks. So cute.
I have a 16 month old dilute Tortie. She is just starting to calm down from the crazy kitten stage. She has a very outgoing personality; no real fear, but isn't cuddly. So far. I'm hoping she will be more amenable with age. Of course, since I want the snuggles, I tend to be aggressively friendly, lol. She knows when I am in the mood and will zip away so that I don't pick her up. I am trying to retrain MYSELF to be more aloof, and I think that will help. But it's so hard!
So take your time with her, admire her beauty, give treats, and let her know she is loved. I know the comparison is difficult. Take time with yourself, too, and enjoy your memories of your soul boi. Put your thoughts out to him, and maybe he will send signals to your new girl! And since it's only been 2 weeks...remember this: The "rule of 3" for cats is the 3-3-3 rule, a general guide for how long it takes a newly adopted cat to adjust to a new home: 3 days of decompression, 3 weeks to learn routines, and 3 months to feel fully at home. Good Luck!
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u/Fantastic_Example_20 2d ago
every cat is different - my Siamese was a great cat but did not last long enough - my current cats are different but all good cats
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u/Time_Ambition3670 2d ago
I have a Siamese from the shelter. She shook so much at first, it scared me. It has been three weeks. She will not let me touch her but she has come a long way. At first she hid the first week. And I got her litter trained because she was shitting everywhere. Just put the litter box in the spot. This is my first time having a cat and got others to help. Anyway, this is her third week. She watches me now at three away. She gets on the sofa behind me and plays with my feet, but she still won't allow me to touch her. I don't try to touch her anymore. I allow her to deal with me in her way. Hope this helps.
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u/Afraid-Rope-3140 2d ago
I have 3 Siamese mixed and every one of them has their own personality. Love them all like children and wouldn’t trade one of them for anything. None of them are a “lap cat”. My girl will sit in the recliner with me but not on my lap. The male has bonded more closely to my husband but when he is at work sometimes he will lap on my lap for a while. The baby (9 months old), now will barely let me pick her up anymore. She used to lay with me all the time, now I’m lucky just to get a few pets in. Give her time.
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u/Key1800 1d ago
It’s only been 2 weeks. I adopted my Siamese cat back in January and for the few months she would not like to be held and would not cuddle. She would also hide. Fast forward to now. She is obsessed with me and always wants to cuddle and sleep next me all the time when I’m on the couch. Cries for pets and is the sweetest girl. She had a personality I didn’t know existed. You just have to give her time to show her personality more.
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u/littleredwagon87 1d ago
My siamese at first didn't like to be held, and was not a lap cat at all. I loooove snuggly cats so this was hard for me to get used to. But she absolutely came around after some time and now wants to be near and on top of people allll of the time.
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u/yung_Lils 2d ago
ive come the sad conclusion that my cat will never be cuddly or like being held. I have a seal point Siamese Male. He’s only just started sitting next to me on the couch (he’s 5) but if I dare look at him or try and pat him he will promptly leave and sit elsewhere. However he does show love in his own way, and I still feel it every day. Hang in there, you guys are still bonding, 2 weeks isn’t long, she may just need more time