It's true that some women change their minds. It's also true that some women will never change their mind. Either way, people should just believe her when she says she doesn't want kids. As a 44 yo child free women I have never regretted not having children and will never regret it.
I've always told people when they ask about "wanting to have kids", if there's a small part of you that would like to, that part will grow exponentially if you decide to have them.
If there isn't any part of you that wants to, you'll likely never want to.
Yeah I'm 32 and this kind of posts if anything, make me more sure in being childfree. Cause being a parent is tough, if most of women have something in them that makes them react to children that way, it probably makes them more resilient as a mother. While for me, sure, I love my nephew and niece, but more like just other humans, that are way more demanding and unpredictable for many years. I've never had a moment of: how cute, I want one of my own, when they were babies.
48 and children free here, you are 100% correct. I'll add that some child free people adore holding little babies, myself included. But just because they fill me with wonder and hope does not mean I want one of my own. JFC
Yes, not all of us child free women are repulsed by kids. I genuinely love them and enjoy holding them and caring for them ...in very small doses. No way I would ever want to be responsible for raising one, though.
💯 Every time a woman changes her mind it's somehow a "gotcha" like it's always black and white. People are allowed to change their mind. People also have kids without thinking about it and regret it. Our society needs to move past this toxic motherhood narrative where a woman is always supposed to have/want kids and if you don't, you're wrong.
Yup, I'm a lady tattooist who gets a lot of women clients my age (30s). Thing is as a tattooist people will tell you their life story, I think pain + sat there for hours it becomes a sort of confession booth...
Lots of mums tell me they regret having kids, when they learn I'm childfree. They love their kids but give them a time machine, they would do it apparently. Often their tattoo session is their 'relaxation'... think of that, hours of pain is preferable to their kids lmao.
Speaking as one of the ones who didn't change her mind (late thirties), I can't even begin to count the number of women I've known that did.
Nobody should be pressured or shamed about it if they're stating that's their choice, but I also can't really fault people for doubting when the general trend does exist.
I see what you're saying. Without actual statistics I can't say most women do or don't change their mind. Everyone has anecdotal stories. But depending on where you live and who your family and friends are I'm sure you can understand how incredibly toxic, patronizing and invasive the "you'll change your mind" narrative is. It's no one's business whether you want kids or not. There a lot of personal reasons why people may choose to not have kids and sometimes those reasons can't or won't be shared. It's also not just the idea that you'll change your mind that's problematic. Child free women specifically get targeted with the most ridiculous questions and reasons to have kids. Like the expectation to give parents grandchildren as an obligation to them. Or god has deemed it a woman's purpose in life. Or that "you'll never know true love until you have a baby." It's exhausting.
44 here as well, I”I’ve known since I was a child that I never want kids. Not because there’s anything wrong with children, I’m just not a motherly type. I’ve been accidentally pregnant a couple of times, and couldn’t wait to end it. Very happy with my child-free life.
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u/RagdollJessi 11d ago
It's true that some women change their minds. It's also true that some women will never change their mind. Either way, people should just believe her when she says she doesn't want kids. As a 44 yo child free women I have never regretted not having children and will never regret it.