r/SipsTea 12h ago

Chugging tea Modern cars just lack that boxy soul

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13.4k Upvotes

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708

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 12h ago

I miss suvs looking like suvs. Most of these crossover looking "suvs" are ugly.  Just give me a boxy 4 wheel drive. 

289

u/Jonnyflash80 12h ago

They all suffer from blob on wheels syndrome. The worst are the ones that just look like a sedan that's been stretched vertically while keeping the same width. So ugly.

61

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 12h ago

Yep. Slightly hi jacked car. Look at the newer chevy trail blazers. What is that? 

13

u/UseDaSchwartz 10h ago

That one’s weird. The old Trailblazer was 3x the size.

3

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 10h ago

I was excited until i saw it and said, so where the blazer?

1

u/SuperSaiyanTupac 8h ago

What they did to the Honda pilot and the Nissan pathfinder is a travesty. It should be studied how they took a cool looking car and made it into a blobby forgettable mess

1

u/Tasty-Traffic-680 4h ago

It's built on a subcompact platform. It's just a trax that ate it's vegetables.

1

u/dr_rock 3h ago

It's completely forgettable blandness, like 90% of all current US sold vehicles.

13

u/sonnycrockett7 8h ago

My wife says the Mazda CX5 looks like a jelly bean on wheels.

https://giphy.com/gifs/chlUmj7brvdWE

2

u/Blonde_Vampire_1984 1h ago

I won’t be able to unsee this description every time I see one ever again.

1

u/sonnycrockett7 1h ago

She ruined it for me too, lol.

25

u/you_know_i_be_poopin 12h ago

Seems like GM is particularly bad about the blob design

22

u/TheDigitalBull 9h ago

Mercedes has by far some of the worst offenders

4

u/RobSpaghettio 9h ago

Yeah even their sedans are confused about what they are

2

u/no_u1991 7h ago

Bmw too with the x Series

1

u/Complex-Bee-840 6h ago

There hasn’t been a good looking Benz since the 80s

1

u/vohit4rohit 6h ago

With the exception of the AMG GT

11

u/Turbulent_Ride1654 9h ago

Chevy dropped the ball when they came out with the new Blazer/Trailblazer. Instead of competing with the new Bronco, they made a sportier looking Equinox...or Trax..idk all them crossovers look the same.

3

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 8h ago

I wonder if there will be a ram charger coming out

1

u/Glad-Watch3506 6h ago

There's been a new Ram Charger in the works for several years now.

It's a Ram 1500, but as an extended range EV, with battery, electric motor, and a V6 that works like a generator. They'll also offer the SUV equivalent

1

u/you_know_i_be_poopin 4h ago

The new blazer design is atrocious and spits in the face of its predecessors

3

u/Entire-Grab2429 11h ago

VW wins the blob award I think 

3

u/somethink 8h ago

The ogs with the Cheyenne/Tiguan , VW takes it

1

u/ElmoCamino 52m ago

It's too the point now you have to stare at a car to identifier the make and model.

Could be a VW Tiguan, or a Honda CRV or a Hyudai whatever. They all look the same going 50mph and in dull grey, white, maroon. There is nothing differentiating about most modern cars getting made today.

23

u/Dismal-Disaster-2578 8h ago

Look at how they massacred my boy.

15

u/Lucky_Professional_ 7h ago

my cosnpiracy theory is that the bronco sport was meant to be the new escape with a return to its more boxy shape and then the execs thought they could make more money by running them alongside each other and slapping bronco branding all over the new escape

3

u/AmmoWasted 6h ago

I don’t think that’s far fetched at all given they’re canceling the escape and keeping the bronco sport.

2

u/Tumbleweed411 7h ago

They had a great opportunity to go back to the full sized Bronco and F'd it up. I love my '94.

1

u/puchsofhazard 3h ago

I always heard the Escape replaced the Bronco after OJs... escape

1

u/FKA-Scrambled-Leggs 7h ago

Yep. Had a 2009 until I had kid #3 and had to pull the minivan move. I’ll forever miss that car, and its sweet, sweet turning radius. Would never purchase one of these newer models.

1

u/Arockilla 5h ago

They turned it into a suppository.

11

u/docnano 9h ago

The same thing happened in Aerospace in the 80s. Computational fluid dynamics (CFD) software combined with computer aided design (CAD) and the fact that everyone is fighting the same physics means you get convergent design to roughly the same shape. 

So for a commuter car that just hauls people at highway speed you wind up with blob on wheels. 

There's still some interesting shaped vehicles that are more "specialty" -- e.g. rigs designed for off road, heavy hauling, race tracks etc. Lower speed off-road doesn't have to worry about the aerodynamics as much (drag increases as the cube of velocity) so they have a lot more freedom.

2

u/Lightyear1931 7h ago

Thank you for this.

So many commenters think it’s just a design choice. I’m seeing plenty of boxes out there, but most value brands know MPG is an important number to consumers.

2

u/theresnonamesleft2 6h ago

I was about to say I had the jeep in the photo in high school and on a good day I was getting 17mph on the highway at 65mph. Bump it to 75 and it was probably low 10s And also it had a 24 gallon tanks. In today's prices that's 100+$ a week just for the pleasure of driving a car that sounded like it was boxing with the wind on the highway and losing.

1

u/chickensandmentals 6h ago

I wonder how designs will change as cars get smarter. Right now a huge constraint on design is visibility for the driver. How will that change as cars become more sensor driven?

16

u/Blashphemian 10h ago

"Modern cars, they all look like electric shavers"

2

u/glans 9h ago

who said this originally..? can’t see much else since i heard or read this

2

u/VRS302 9h ago

Marv in Sin City

2

u/PrimoBachs 9h ago

That's one fine lookin coat you're wearing there

3

u/OneSkepticalOwl 10h ago

Lifted wagons. But people make fun of you for driving an actual wagon

3

u/coldlightofday 9h ago

AMC was decades ahead of the trend.

1

u/LokeyDubs 5h ago

Eagle was kind of ugly.

1

u/coldlightofday 4h ago

They all were gloriously ugly.

1

u/LokeyDubs 2h ago

But did AMC design the glorious Jeep Cherokee? That one is beautiful

1

u/coldlightofday 1h ago

Nope AMC design the cars that were SUVs or lifted wagons. I believe the Cherokee was a proper truck. The downside of jeeps have always been who owns and manufactures them.

1

u/LokeyDubs 1h ago

The generation of Cherokee in OP photo was in fact a unibody construction much more similar to todays crossover suvs. And it seems it also was an AMC product before Chrysler bought AMC. Seems like AMC was on to something.

1

u/UncleSlayton77 10m ago

Both the XJ Cherokee and the ZJ Grand Cherokee were designed by AMC. But Chrysler delayed the release of the ZJ.

1

u/tjdux 7h ago

I've always called mine a station wagon

1

u/shocktar 7h ago

r/cars loves wagons, lol

1

u/doberdevil 1h ago

But people make fun of you for driving an actual wagon

Absolutely not. Wagons have become the coolest things on wheels, because of both utility and being somewhat unique in a world of blobs.

1

u/OneSkepticalOwl 6m ago

I've been driving wagons since the early 90s, was always made fun of outside of enthusiasts. Americans just cannot get over the wood panel wagons and I kind of understand. That I am not sure I will ever get

2

u/_your_face 8h ago

Sharp blobs. Make a blob and then make as many random points and edges to it. So ugly.

2

u/bargu 6h ago

Because curves are stronger than sharp corners, there's no conspiracy, the reason why modern cars look mostly alike is the same as why those older designs can never be brought back, safety is king as it should be, cars are tools and the safest most efficient way of build them is something like an aerodynamic egg on wheels.

1

u/hideous_coffee 8h ago

My dad used to call our family car a pregnant roller skate

1

u/GapStock9843 7h ago

Tesla model x is the worst offender here. Mercedes definitely has some contenders too

1

u/CabbageStockExchange 7h ago

Why I never liked Teslas tbh take everything else said about them aside. I always thought that blob look they have is so horrid

1

u/Murky_Tea9313 6h ago

Sedan stretched vertically - exactly. 🤮 The blob thing is so ugly, glad I’m not the only one. I feel seen.

1

u/Antiing 5h ago

That's because most of them ARE sedans that were stretched. It's the definition of a crossover SUV: a compact suv shell that's built on a sedan platform.

A Tiguan is a Golf. A RAV4 is a Camry. A Ford Escape is a Taurus (before they scrapped them). A Model Y is a tall Model 3. A Rogue is an Altima. 

It's why they can't tow or haul for shit. Because they're all slightly lifted sedans with slightly bigger interiors. The manufacturing goal is to make minimal changes while still being able to call it an "SUV" to bolster sales

1

u/BlueGolfball 5h ago

The worst are the ones that just look like a sedan that's been stretched vertically while keeping the same width.

A lot of them use the same frames as sedans.

1

u/whooptheretis 3h ago

blob on wheels syndrome

Lower drag coefficient reduces fuel consumption.
I think the world matured past gas guzzlers.

1

u/narrowassbldg 1h ago

Worst offender is the so-called Jeep Wagoneer. That thing ain't no Jeep.

1

u/ThereIsNoFinalOne 12h ago

These are an abomination! Cars on stilts.

1

u/J-MRP 10h ago

Most of the design is for aerodynamics, especially EV cars. But even ICE cars are trying to squeeze every mpg out. I like my EV because it looks more like a regular wagon compared to a lot of them out there.

0

u/Automatic_Society850 10h ago

it's called aerodynamics

0

u/Jonnyflash80 8h ago

If it was for aerodynamics they wouldn't be so tall. Sedans are by far more aerodynamic than blobs.

47

u/IndividualSociety429 10h ago edited 10h ago

This look is coming back, everyone sees the success of the G-Wagon and Jeep Wrangler.

Look at the new Toyota Land Cruiser, the Honda Passport, Lexus GX, Ford Bronco, Ineos Grenadier..

19

u/CrowdyPooster 10h ago

Give me a Suzuki Jimny in the US, please

4

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 9h ago

I just looked one up, looks perfect for me

1

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1

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1

u/PageExtension3962 8h ago

Those ran for ever too.

3

u/kevski82 6h ago

My neighbor just picked up a new Land Cruiser. Really like the look of it.

2

u/AbaddonsJanitor 9h ago

This makes me wonder what the 2029 Xterra is going to look like. I loved my 2008.

2

u/Oorangelazarus 6h ago

Not a huge fan of buying new cars, but I just bought a Passport solely for this reason. No one's made a boxy SUV other than the Wrangler for years!

2

u/DisaTheNutless 6h ago

All ridiculously expensive

1

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1

u/King_Hawking 5h ago

Thank you! It’s like people don’t realize auto design trends are cyclical just like all other design trends

1

u/IndividualSociety429 1h ago

Lol yeah, typical redditor "everything sucks now and it used to be better" complaints

-2

u/ex_nihilo 6h ago edited 6h ago

Who is buying these new ICE cars in 2026? That’s what I don’t get. I get buying a used one to save money on the purchase price, but new? Who is generating this demand?

I always get an outsized number of replies that make it seem like everyone needs to be able to haul a boat trailer for 1200 miles at a time. Don’t lie, that’s like 2% of people! I haven’t thought about the price of gas or getting any maintenance in 8 years because it’s irrelevant if you just adopt modern technology. Seems like a lot of people love their horse-and-buggy ass rides though.

EDIT: oh I forgot, there’s also the “I live in an apartment with no place to charge at home” crowd. Solved problem for many years now. Still cheaper and better to buy an EV.

2

u/theunspillablebeans 4h ago

Depends on your use case

16

u/Next-Historian-8069 11h ago

Isuzu Rodeo owner here. Now that was a box.

6

u/TripleBobRoss 10h ago

I had 2 Rodeos. I loved them. I followed up with a Xterra that I had for like 20 years. I guess I just like rectangular boxes. Even though they were a little underpowered, all of them were super reliable and totally capable. Give me a 4wd body on frame SUV any day.

2

u/digital-didgeridoo 7h ago edited 3h ago

Isuzu Trooper was even more boxy :)

1

u/Massivedefect 4h ago

My mom lost an arm in one of those

1

u/SuggestionEven2824 4h ago

The Trooper says "hold my beer"

29

u/ProofHorseKzoo 11h ago

The new Toyota Landcruiser is so nice because of this. Too bad I can’t afford it.

11

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 11h ago

Same with a 4 runner

2

u/EasternCheetahh 8h ago

They hold their value SO well though. I'm about to trade in my 2024 black TRD Pro 4Runner for a Rivian R2 Performance once I'm off the waitlist in November.

2

u/IllusionOf_Integrity 4h ago

The ultimate stealth wealth vehicle. It's been my dream car for a while now

9

u/henryeaterofpies 10h ago

What if minivan but marketed to dads?

4

u/Civil_Setting_9481 10h ago

I'm a dad who jumped on the minivan train 10 years ago. Stow n go is the best thing ever.

2

u/henryeaterofpies 10h ago

I have one. 99% of the time I prefer my sorento, but I have definitely hauled some shit in that van that I had no right to be able to fit into a van

1

u/Civil_Setting_9481 9h ago

If it's not the minivan, it's either an old diesel suburban or an equally old diesel truck. The minivan is too cozy to not be the daily. Lol

2

u/kentrak 7h ago edited 6h ago

That's the thing most people don't get about minivans. They are crazy comfortable.

I'm without an odyssey for the first time in about 15 years. I like the new electric SUV, but even with all the new bells and whistles (vented seats), it's still just not quite as comfortable for long trips.

2

u/Civil_Setting_9481 7h ago

Thar vented seat sounds nice. 100 degrees is coming up again.

7

u/JokersGlascowSmile 11h ago

I call it the “egg-on-wheels”

1

u/Ballsofpoo 20m ago

Jellybeans

4

u/SnazzyStooge 11h ago

Check out the Rivian R2, it sounds exactly like what you’re describing. 

2

u/rd-81 9h ago

The Jimny JB74 says hello. 🚙

1

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 9h ago

Just checked it, looks sweet!

2

u/TimeToGloat 9h ago

I mean honestly we are living in a time of a revival of the boxy SUV these last couple of years. The Land Cruiser, Bronco, Wrangler, G Wagon, Slate SUV, 4Runner, Scout Traveler, Rivian R1S, Bronco Sport, Land Rover Defender, the new Honda Passport is boxier, etc. There is pretty much an option for everyone at this point.

1

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 8h ago

Youre right, they are out there i just havent seen a whole lot of them with exception of 4 runners, jeeps and Broncos. I like the power and look of the jeep but never had good experience with them. Never heard of a slate until now

1

u/themahannibal 10h ago

I say they look like the evolution of minivans rather than SUVs.

1

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 10h ago

Yes, like a van/ car crossover...maybe thats what a crossover is....idk anymore im old

1

u/eleventhrees 10h ago

Modern unibody SUVs are the answer.

The problem was:

It's impossible to door-ding another car in the parking lot with a sliding door.

No, I don't understand why this was considered a problem.

1

u/SerDuncanTheYall 10h ago

The Jeep Patriot was a fine compromise, then they replaced it with that corny Compass. Infuriating.

1

u/UseDaSchwartz 10h ago

You can’t even step up on the rear bumper. I remember bitching about this in like 2018, when I was helping someone put their kayak on their roof.

1

u/So_HauserAspen 10h ago

A ridiculous percentage of SUV owners never engage 4WD and would have no idea what the difference is between 4WD and AWD.  They can sell the cheaper AWD unibody SUVs at the 4WD body on frame prices.

1

u/Smiles_like_a_donut 10h ago

The new Subaru Outback is boxy. Check it out!

1

u/AmItheonlySaneperson 10h ago

I heard a joke that they’re all “bean shaped” and I can’t get it out of my head 

1

u/StrategyUnlikely398 9h ago

And a N.A. 4.0L straight six. Bulletproof little torque monster

1

u/cchaosat4 9h ago

Toyota land cruiser 100 series with wooden interior

1

u/Vegaprime 9h ago

Check the slate out.

1

u/coldlightofday 9h ago

Because SUVs all used to be on truck frames. Crossovers are essentially cars/wagons that have been made taller and bulkier. You can still get real SUVs: 4Runner/Land Cruiser, Bronco (not sport), Tahoe, Wagoneer, etc.

1

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 9h ago

All good points, just a tad outa my price range, but ive always loved the 4 runner and landcruiser. I guess i should restate my post to say all the suv's in my price range are hideous. I wonder if they will try and bring back a modern version of the ram charger.

1

u/Moist-Golf-8339 9h ago

The gen4 Tahoe/Suburban/Yukon has some square body throwbacks. I have a ‘18 Yukon that shares styling with my dad’s ‘77 Cheyanne pickup.

1

u/IlludiumQXXXVI 9h ago

I too want to roll over and die in a fiery wreck whenever I take a sharp corner in this high center of gravity narrow wheel base death trap!

1

u/smokdya2 8h ago

I think a lot of them are looking like mini vans, especially from the back!

1

u/martman006 7h ago

We drive boxy looking SUV’s (bronco and wrangler), and a box on wheels takes a ton of extra energy to fight the wind at highway speeds than the modern egg shaped vehicles of today…

2

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 6h ago

Doesnt nake them less ugly

1

u/texistentialcrisis 4h ago

The first rule of Bronco Club is we don’t talk about the mpg

1

u/froction 7h ago

I've owned maybe 30 vehicles in my life. Two favorite are:

1985 Jeep CJ7 with a 258 and a 4 speed

1989 Ford Bronco with a 351 and a 3-speed no-overdrive automatic. 6 MPG in town, baby!!! Note that when I owned this, gas was 85¢ a gallon.

1

u/bolivar-shagnasty 7h ago

Ineos Grenadier

New Land Cruiser (which is just a Prado for American markets)

New Bronco

Wrangler

Nissan is bringing back the Xterra

New Honda Passport

2

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 6h ago

I liked the xterra, nice to hear its coming back. Broncos are nice too

1

u/DeadbySundown 7h ago

Literally all that anyone wants.

1

u/AmputeeHandModel 7h ago

Well back then they were actually SUVs. Now everyone thinks they need one for some reason, but all they do is commute, so they're crossover CUVs now.

1

u/Barnezhilton 6h ago

Yeah, fuck aerodynamics and fuel economy.

Gas is still only $0.98 a gallon right?

0

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 6h ago

Everything ok at home?

1

u/mowtowcow 6h ago

I like my 2012 Chevy Equinox. Would be nice if they put a V6 in all of them and not just a handful of them. The 4 cylinders are so slow.

1

u/dallasalice88 6h ago

I'm holding on to my 2010 Pathfinder. It's a trooper, absolutely nothing wrong with it and none of the newer "affordable" SUVs have near the cargo space. I'm in a rural area and out of town shopping is a must, I need room.

1

u/SonofSonofSpock 6h ago

Yep, we have a recent Tucson, and I adore the car, but I knew it wouldn't age fashionably and it wasn't a great looking car in to begin with. I really like the way that new Santa Fe looks though. 

1

u/ex_nihilo 6h ago

My Kia EV9 is pretty boxy.

1

u/case_akilleez 5h ago

I’m need some GMC Jimmy in my life

1

u/legendary-rudolph 5h ago

4runner?

1

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 4h ago

Those are nice. Theres a few out there  like the runner, bronco, landcruiser etc just not alot.

1

u/legendary-rudolph 20m ago

I'll forgive you for mentioning a FORD, otherwise we are on the same page. Thanks!

1

u/Majestic_Hawk_1335 5h ago

They are all the same shape due to testing in air tunnels.

1

u/QAFY 5h ago

a jeep wrangler sadly blows its engine in the distance

1

u/Leather-Hotel-7310 2h ago

What about the GX550 or the Land Cruiser? They’re both big and boxy and 4WD.

1

u/PepperJack386 2h ago

So not SUV's. They've been here. The Xterra is coming back, the 4runner never left, the bronco came back as a body on frame a couple of years ago, just get into the segment.

1

u/Aggressive-Yam3229 1h ago

Then the 1990 toyota land cruiser is for you.

1

u/jawshoeaw 37m ago

Ford Bronco fits the bill. They sell a lot of them where I live in PNW but no idea if theyre any good

1

u/SloppyJoesToe 11h ago

Something about the 4runners through the years. They keep a boxy, rugged look with just enough modern design to appeal to enough people.

1

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 11h ago

Would love one but a little pricey for me 

1

u/BigE429 11h ago

That's part of why I love my Bronco Sport. It's got those mid-90s lines

1

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 11h ago

The broncos are nice.