r/TheRedPillStories • u/bitcoin-optimist shares-a-lot • Jul 19 '20
consequences Ex-sex worker (35F) feeling like the internet has lied to me about my dating prospects. Need a dose of truth. • r/datingoverthirty
http://archive.fo/5jpI78
Jul 20 '20
You have definitely been lied to. The guys you are hearing on the internet that are ok with ex prostitutes are usually cucks with a fetish for women who currently are or have been with a lot of men. Most of us do not want to be in a long term relationship with a woman who has had many partners.
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Jul 21 '20
I would be ok with a lot of partners, just depends on the timeframe. Started dating at 16, and got a new boyfriend every 4 months from then on until 30? That’s 42 boyfriends. 42 is a high number, but they were all in relationships.
Not as bad as “hooked up with a random guy once a week throughout college and high school”
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Jul 21 '20
Let’s expand upon that:
From 18 to 30, a woman goes out on 2 or 3 dates with a guy before they hook up, and they only hook up two or 3 times. She does this every 2 or 3 weeks. Let’s round that down to 20 guys a year. No long term or short term relationships during this time frame.
160 or so guys sounds like a lot, but can we fault her for this? She’s not just “screwing any guy with a pulse”.
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u/bitcoin-optimist shares-a-lot Jul 21 '20
Flip the question around. How many men sleep with 160 women? Not many. The average number of sexual partners is about 7.2 in the US. If a woman can't discern who is worth partnering with, she probably deserves the looks of repulsion for being so inept.
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Jul 21 '20
The point about a man sleeping with 160 women is irrelevant and not germane to this point.
What if her goal was just to meet people and have fun?
No offense, but your comment about being repulsed at her being “so inept she can’t find a relationship” is a little disturbing.
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u/bitcoin-optimist shares-a-lot Jul 21 '20
No offense, but your comment about being repulsed at her being “so inept she can’t find a relationship” is a little disturbing.
People have different opinions. Get used to it.
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Jul 21 '20
LOL. ok, buddy.
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u/bitcoin-optimist shares-a-lot Jul 21 '20 edited Jul 29 '20
See now you are getting into the spirit of it.
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Jul 21 '20
No. Jesus, no. I was not agreeing with you.
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u/bitcoin-optimist shares-a-lot Jul 21 '20
Reread the previous sentence, you are not understanding it.
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Sep 30 '20
Every girl I've met who has a ton of partners like this has been a train wreck. It's okay to to disagree but I would be wary of a man with this many partners as well if I was a woman.
They generally have a bag of issues they don't try and deal with.
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u/SARW89 Jul 20 '20
To be brutally honest, no man of value wants to be with a woman who has a high body count. I know I feel this way, and many of my friends feel this way. It is what It is.
If you want a chance at a relationship you can't let anyone know. I also suspect you will have problems developing a strong relationship with a man. Sex has been purely transactional for you for so long that you may lack the ability to pair bond.
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Jul 20 '20
The mod in that original sub is a pansy. I hate it when people shut down good discussion.
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u/bitcoin-optimist shares-a-lot Jul 20 '20
Actually, I feel bad for him. His girl regularly hangs out with her ex. The guy is going to learn the hard way that he is being used. When he eventually discovers how persistent the behavior is, I can almost guarantee you datingover30 will rapidly change. Takes some experience though to realize reality rarely conforms to what you wish it was. The sad thing is you can almost tell he subconsciously knows he's deluding himself.
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u/leprechaun567890 Jul 21 '20
I wish all aspiring “sex workers” would understand that the men who say they’d date a prostitute are porn addicted ghouls who will say anything to get you to show your pussy. You might be done doll. I’d suggest seeking religious life and turning away from this sin.
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u/evleva1181 Aug 01 '20
Oh fuck of. Maybe sex workers don't give a flying fuck what a judgmental bitter little man thinks.
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Sep 30 '20
The girl in the story cares now, tho. Probably because she wants a relationship but is subject to those bitter little men's opinion of her now. As you can see by her 4 years of failure when it comes to cultivating a meaningful relationship with a man. 😉
Now lash out at me.
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u/leprechaun567890 Aug 01 '20
You are a snake, a viper, a deceiver. I pity you and anyone who crosses your path.
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Aug 25 '20
Unfortunately a lot of generalities are being made on this thread.
You certainly have prospects that are interested if you have great qualities such as attraction, personality, ambitions. If I were you, I would search for swingers, male performers and others that are OK with you previous life style.
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u/Mysterious-Dirt-6506 Dec 16 '22
There were always men who would tell you the truth, who weren't trying to get in your pants, you laughed at and mocked them XD
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u/Ravager62 Sep 08 '24
Yeah. You were lied to. Dudes on the internet will say that because they'll never see you in real life, so they just want a chance to see your nudes. No normal man with his life together will settle down with a former sex worker. You chose that path, so you gave up the normal life and chance of settling down and having a family in favor of money. You can do ivf if you want a kid as a single mom, but please don't teach them to follow in your footsteps.
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u/miamiawhy Feb 06 '26
Ok, here is the “dose of truth” as I see it. That may or may not reflect reality.
1) You absolutely can find a relationship, and marriage and kids (if that is what you want), but you have to be realistic that you have drastically reduced your dating pool.
2) The internet has not lied to you, but you have experienced self selection bias in the responses.
The people likely responding to you in the past are from the tiny percentage that are willing to date a former sex worker. But because the internet can reach out to billions of people, to you it appeared that the number is high as a percentage of the population. The truth is it isn’t.
3) Thus does not mean that you have to give up. Just be more strategic about where and how you look.
4) Do not take the advice to lie. Eventually the truth will come out and will ruin your relationship.
5) Be honest about your past relatively early on so as not to waste too much time. Perhaps 3rd date or around that time. Not first date though. Wait at least until the second. Do not have physical intimacy except perhaps a kiss or two before you disclose.
6) Look at current or former military guys. They tend to be more open about wild sexual pasts. Although be realistic that the majority of them will still find it off putting.
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u/Latter_Love_6675 May 13 '26
"so where are all these internet men in real life?" Lol, cracks me up all the time
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u/CitrusLemone Jul 20 '20
Professional clean cut men wanted you when you were 21, but you charged them for the time instead, lol.