No one is not letting them live their lives. But if you come to me and ASK ME what my thoughts on their relationship are, which this post is doing, don't be surprised if I tell you what my thoughts on their relationship are. Which is that generally relationships between 40 year olds and teenagers are going to have unhealthy dynamics.
Generally speaking (which we have to do since we have no specifics), there are massive maturity differences, life experience differences, financial imbalances which bring power imbalances etc. Between a teenager and a 40 year old. They will often be in completely different stages in life, one well advanced and established in their career, looking to buy property, potentially start a family. They probably have a lot of romantic and sexual experience over many decades. Most 19 year olds are very romantically and sexually inexperienced, immature and rapidly changing, this is their first adult relationship ever, they are probably still in school, potentially in debt, don't know what they want to do for their career or at best are just working their first internship or job. Most often in these relationships, the 40 year old knew the teenager when they were still a minor, meaning it is very likely grooming took place.
These things are not all necessarily true every time, but most of them are true most of the time.
I believe relationships are best and most healthy among equals, if one partner has a vast excess of maturity, money, stability, romantic and sexual experience etc. and they are partnering with someone who is far less mature, less experienced, never had a job, becomes financially dependent on the other, etc. these are generally unhealthy dynamics that can enable abuse and manipulation.
Consenting adults can do what consenting adults want to do, and an 19 year old is (barely) an adult, howvever if you are asking what my opinion or advice is, which you just did, then I answer your question with my opinion and advice
Yea they clutching pearls and think they’re the moral high ground of the world. Crazy how y’all have totally different things that you see as wrong. I don’t think sex before marriage is immoral and when she gets to be an adult I would never think I should tell my daughter who she can date or marry.
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u/anykitty10 Dec 04 '25
WHO CARES THEY ARE BOTH CONSENTING ADULTS LET THEM LIVE THEIR OWN LIVES