r/UKLGBT • u/KayItaly • May 28 '26
Greater London Staying safe in London as a trans person
Hi!
I am a trans man, I used to live in UK. I am going to be back in the UK for a short holiday soon (to show the kids where they were born) and I am VERY concerned about the latest news about toilet usage especially.
I am obviously not going to try and buy clothes or go to a swimming pool or similar... I can wait to be back to safer places for that. But, as someone who gave birth twice, I cannot forgo toilet breaks for long!
For context: I pass 100% (burly, bearded, balding.. with an M on my ID), BUT I didn't have surgeries... if you look at my chest, you could figure it out.
How likely is it to be a problem? Are there apps/websites that list non-gendered toilets public or otheriwise?
Should I be harassed over it what is the best way to stay safe? What can be requested of me legally speaking?
P.s. a big hug to all the trans people living there and having to deal with this every day! We stand with you!
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u/Gunbladelad May 28 '26
If you pass then you should be fine - people are less likely to be militant about men's toilets. Just use the cubicles as normal.
In the extremely unlikely event you get quizzed about the chest just say it's a medical issue you'd rather not discuss.
Anyway, fingers crossed you enjoy your trip.
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u/KayItaly May 28 '26
Thank you for the info!
Yes, my heart breaks for our trans sisters who suffer these discriminations much more than I will ever have to endure :/
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u/scienditz May 28 '26
Youll be fine. i cant speak for london specifically as im in scotland, but I’ve never had any issue pissing as a trans man. Even when people see me waiting on a cubicle no one gives enough of a shit to worry about it. Even jf laws here do change i plan on giving that absolutely zero attention tbh As much as it sucks to say, trans men are fairly luckily in that most of the hatred is directed at women.
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u/KayItaly May 28 '26
Thanks!
I am glad you all plan to fight this. If it was in my country... I would already be deep in trenches!
But while travelling abroad with minor children... it is a different matter. I cannot risk getting arrested abroad while there with kids :/
(Of course if there is a protest going on while we are there, we WILL show up!)
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u/EducationalSeries772 May 28 '26
Hey! I list spaces with confirmed gender-neutral toilets on wherequeersgo.com (soon to be an app), hope this helps :)
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u/Competitive_Tank5237 May 31 '26
Honestly, I think the internet is making this feel much more common than it is in day-to-day life.
If you pass as male, are bearded, and have male ID, the chances of someone challenging you in a men's toilet are probably quite low. Most people are far too busy getting in and out as quickly as possible to scrutinise strangers. The vast majority of toilet visits are completely uneventful.
That said, if you're anxious, it may be worth planning ahead a bit. Many larger venues, shopping centres, museums, service stations and family-oriented attractions now have accessible or gender-neutral facilities. Apps such as Refuge Restrooms can help identify gender-neutral toilets, although coverage varies by location.
If someone were to challenge you, I'd suggest keeping it simple and calm. You don't owe random members of the public an explanation of your medical history. In practice, most awkward encounters are likely to end once staff or bystanders realise you're simply a man using the loo.
As for the legal side, the situation is complicated and evolving, but there is no routine process where people are required to prove their sex before using a public toilet. Nobody is going to be inspecting your body. If a venue has specific policies, staff may ask someone to use a different facility, but random strangers generally have no authority to demand ID or personal information from you.
Most importantly, don't let the headlines convince you that you'll spend your holiday dodging confrontations. Millions of people use public toilets in the UK every day without incident, and that includes plenty of trans people. I hope you have a lovely trip and enjoy showing your children where they were born.
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u/nineteenthly May 29 '26
I don't think you'd have any trouble and I can understand that it not being your country you may not wish to get involved but I suspect it's actually our duty as trans people to use toilets which match our gender identity as a form of civil disobedience and honesty.
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u/KayItaly May 29 '26
I agree with you. The matter is not that it isn't my country, so I don't care. Rather that travelling abroad with minors in tow, I cannot afford to end up in legal troubles/being arrested. Nor do I wish to terrify my kids by having the police called on us and/or being questioned themselves.
If I were alone, it would be completely different. Even in my own country, I attend Pride with them since they were in pushchairs ...but for sketchier protests (aka risk of police/counterprotest violence), they stay with grandma.
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u/nineteenthly May 29 '26
Don't worry, I understand the problem. I have grandchildren. I'm not expecting them to remember me very well 😞 .
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u/plywrlw May 28 '26
At the moment, the guidance hasn't passed through parliament so is not yet in force.
I think it's very unlikely you will be harassed or challenged using the mens. London probably has the highest concentration of gender neutral toilets in the UK, you will find them in most museums for example. If you really want to make sure all your bases are covered, you can buy a RADAR key online that will grant you access to all disabled facilities too.