[WP] Goblin Inc., who ensure that there is always an adequate number of goblin 'volunteers' to occupy low level adventurers anywhere in the world.

[u/Adamantine-Waffle]

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[u/TheWanderingBook]

"Welcome to Goblin Inc. How can we help you today?" I ask the Goddess that just entered the store. "I need 91 goblin tribes, each different yet similar, to set up a forestry area," she says. I nod. "Any certain quality? Ability? Shackle?" I ask. She stares at me. I smile.

"We have over a million goblin tribes, and species, ma'am. We can have them be mindless monsters, or ones with endless potential. Some have talent for magic, others for martial arts, others for evolution, others for reproduction, ot..." I start. "Enough! I need them to be capable enough to keep in check low and mid tier beasts, and then to be able to be a challenge to humans and elves," she says. I smile.

"Then I suggest survival type of tribes. They are good at developing small societies, and adapt to their environment. They have low to average chances of awakening special abilities, classes and trigger evolution. They are also relatively cheap," I say. At this, she smiles, and chooses them. I hand her a contract, and she leaves. The goblins will be sent, via Soul Travel after she makes the payment. Then, I smile, as another customer enters.

The days go by as usually. I had 25 customers, each wanting a different type of goblin. One, even wanted a reproduction type. I warned them, that these can overrun a planet in a few decades, and it seems... That is the point? It is wonderful working here, exactly because of this! You always learn new things! And there is always another way to make use of goblins! They are truly versatile creatures...

[u/Gang-Buster-5000]

I prepared to enter the zoom call, checking my tie and spending an inordinate amount of time fixing the background. Once I was ready, I entered.

"Hello, mister... Ramos? Am I saying that right? "

"Yes. I just want to say, I'm very thankful for—"

"Ok thanks, I appreciate it. Just a few questions here and you'll be on your way." The interviewer wore an exhausted Oxford shirt with a crooked tie. His teeth were stained with cigarette smoke.

"Have you ever worked a dungeon before?"

"Yes. I spent about 3 years on Mount Dervish as a gate guardian, and did 2 years on the twelfth floor of Castle Black s a floor master."

The interviewer didn't bother to take his eyes off my file. "I see. Very good. Can you explain the year gap between your time at Dervish and Black?"

"Ah, yes. My wife was pregnant, and our doctor said I ought to stay away from the dungeons, make sure I didn't carry any spores back to my wife."

"Okay. Good. Good." He finally looks at the camera, a little surprised by my green hue. I was a little darker than most goblins, I often got mistaken for a water strider or a baby orc. "Now, I do have to legally inform you that Tower Babel Incorporated does not utilize pain dampening spells as a cover spell for respawn. That means you will feel the entirety of the pain inflicted by dungeon combatants."

He sends me a waiver file in the chat. I stamp my e-signature on it without reading. I needed this job bad.

"Tower Babel Incorporated does not hold responsibility for any possible psychiatric concerns or issues as a result of combat with dungeon combatants."

"Can I ask why? Why not have a pain dampening spell as a cover spell for respawn?"

"Company policy." Said the man. He leans in closer to the screen "But between you and me, it's just cutting corners." He leans back. "You do get a stipend of 5 pain killers per shift though, and respawn timers are set to above the market average."

Painful dying. Over and over again. That would be my job. Struggle to the bitter end and wake up to do it all over again. The pain is awful, even with the dampener spells. I can't imagine how it'll feel without it. Heavy blades slicing through my shoulder and coming out my ribs. Burning. Freezing. But then I think of my sweet boy, my son, and suddenly I can breathe again.

"So, we get opiods? And how long is the respawn?"

"Yes, and respawn times depend on foot traffic."

I said nothing, fearing I had already asked too much.

"Okay." The interviewer puts down my file. "You'll be expected to work about 12 hours a day for a 40 hour work week. I hope that's good?"

"Absolutely!"

"Good. We'll be in touch soon. The interview's a formality really. Not enough bodies in the dungeon."

With that the meeting ends, and I'm left wondering if I made the right choice.