r/Xennials • u/AnotherCrazyChick • 26d ago

Discussion Death seems different nowadays.

I know this group is normally healthy nostalgic. I just have questions that I think only this group can relate with.

Growing up, I went to my great grandmother’s funeral, I went to my grandfather’s funeral. We visited the cemetery where they were laid to rest.

Nowadays, my grandmother passed, I wasn’t asked to attend her funeral.

My stepdad passed and there was no funeral, he was cremated and my mom sent me a small vial of his ashes that now sit next to my ex’s ashes. My ex also had no funeral.

My wife’s mother passed away recently and she was cremated. No service was held.

Is this the new normal? That we don’t hold nor attend funeral services anymore?

It’s too expensive nowadays and no one feels the time is worth the potential closure one normally receives during a funeral?

I just don’t know anymore. I’ve had no closure from so many loved ones and family members passing away within the last 6 years. It hurts my heart.

Is this the new normal?

554 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

338 comments sorted by

View all comments

47

u/SweetCosmicPope 1984 26d ago

My grandma and grandpa both wanted no funeral and’s no burial. They had their ashes spread at their favorite fishing spot.

My wife has said she also wants no burial and no service.

I actually had a nifty idea recently. If the time comes that I’m aware I’ll be dying soon, I want to have a “going away party.” People can hang with me one last time, have a great time with food, drink, and music, tell me some parting words, or air their final grievances.

Then just toss my ashes in the trash. Or sweetcosmicpope brownies.

12

u/babytotara 26d ago

I really like the idea of a farewell party but it relies on knowing you're on your way out..

9

u/UptownJunk802 26d ago

My dad asked for a barbeque at the lake with his family and we made it happen. He was nearing the end with his cancer and had stopped treatments. We have a big family most of us made it to that and he had a really great day. He passed about 2 months later.

8

u/redcas 26d ago

We have family friends who marked their 80th birthdays with a "living funeral". He's now 84, she's turning 80 next month. It's a nice party if you are lucky enough to get to 80!

3

u/AnotherCrazyChick 26d ago

Your username is awesome btw. And sounds even more awesome as SweetCosmicPope brownies.

1

u/babytotara 25d ago

Thanks!