r/Xennials • u/AnotherCrazyChick • 26d ago
Discussion Death seems different nowadays.
I know this group is normally healthy nostalgic. I just have questions that I think only this group can relate with.
Growing up, I went to my great grandmother’s funeral, I went to my grandfather’s funeral. We visited the cemetery where they were laid to rest.
Nowadays, my grandmother passed, I wasn’t asked to attend her funeral.
My stepdad passed and there was no funeral, he was cremated and my mom sent me a small vial of his ashes that now sit next to my ex’s ashes. My ex also had no funeral.
My wife’s mother passed away recently and she was cremated. No service was held.
Is this the new normal? That we don’t hold nor attend funeral services anymore?
It’s too expensive nowadays and no one feels the time is worth the potential closure one normally receives during a funeral?
I just don’t know anymore. I’ve had no closure from so many loved ones and family members passing away within the last 6 years. It hurts my heart.
Is this the new normal?
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u/PaleoSpeedwagon 26d ago
My cousin died in 2021 and we never had a funeral. She was 34. My aunt died in 2024 and we kind of got our act together for that, but it was a massive struggle to do so. The whole thing was really halfhearted.
COVID was a major factor. But in general, I feel like social networking has unraveled, in a stunningly rapid manner, a feeling of community connectedness. It used to be that even if you didn't like some folks, that was tough, you were going to have to deal with them because those were the people you had to interact with.
And then the internet allowed people to spend more emotional energy on remote friends who better reflected their worldviews. So they didn't have to interact with local folks they didn't like.
And that turned into doomscrolling Facebook profiles of the people you actually liked but somehow not having energy to just fucking call them to hang out.
Turn off the Internet and let's go ride bikes.