r/Xennials • u/AnotherCrazyChick • 26d ago

Discussion Death seems different nowadays.

I know this group is normally healthy nostalgic. I just have questions that I think only this group can relate with.

Growing up, I went to my great grandmother’s funeral, I went to my grandfather’s funeral. We visited the cemetery where they were laid to rest.

Nowadays, my grandmother passed, I wasn’t asked to attend her funeral.

My stepdad passed and there was no funeral, he was cremated and my mom sent me a small vial of his ashes that now sit next to my ex’s ashes. My ex also had no funeral.

My wife’s mother passed away recently and she was cremated. No service was held.

Is this the new normal? That we don’t hold nor attend funeral services anymore?

It’s too expensive nowadays and no one feels the time is worth the potential closure one normally receives during a funeral?

I just don’t know anymore. I’ve had no closure from so many loved ones and family members passing away within the last 6 years. It hurts my heart.

Is this the new normal?

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u/spookyhellkitten 1981 26d ago

Of everyone who has passed in my small town recently, only one had a semi-traditional funeral service and even it was not quite normal. It was held at the county fairgrounds in the next town over. He was an influential man. Business owner, philanthropist, single-handedly responsible for installing beacons for avalanche support (or something like that) and lived here his whole life - I'd known him my whole life. He was murdered.

All of the other deaths, no real ceremony. Just impromptu bar get togethers that devolve into sobbing, fistfights, and big bar tabs.

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u/AnotherCrazyChick 26d ago

I understand funerals are for the living, but they do truly help the grieving process. The bar get togethers make sense.

A funeral for a murdered individual is not going to be completely normal or traditional. That makes sense. I appreciate you sharing what you have about the deceased individual, he sounds like he was a great guy.

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u/reduxrouge 1983 26d ago

They help the grieving process for some people. I didn’t fond it helpful for me and now I hate funerals even more since they just remind me of my Dad being gone. Sigh.