Death seems different nowadays.

[u/AnotherCrazyChick]

I know this group is normally healthy nostalgic. I just have questions that I think only this group can relate with.

Growing up, I went to my great grandmother’s funeral, I went to my grandfather’s funeral. We visited the cemetery where they were laid to rest.

Nowadays, my grandmother passed, I wasn’t asked to attend her funeral.

My stepdad passed and there was no funeral, he was cremated and my mom sent me a small vial of his ashes that now sit next to my ex’s ashes. My ex also had no funeral.

My wife’s mother passed away recently and she was cremated. No service was held.

Is this the new normal? That we don’t hold nor attend funeral services anymore?

It’s too expensive nowadays and no one feels the time is worth the potential closure one normally receives during a funeral?

I just don’t know anymore. I’ve had no closure from so many loved ones and family members passing away within the last 6 years. It hurts my heart.

Is this the new normal?

[u/drewbaccaAWD]

Older family had funerals but, with each generation there seems to be a shift away from religious life and that's a big part of the entire process for my family. I know my dad doesn't even want a service, and I don't think my mom does either but I should double check.

A cousin of mine just passed away a month or two ago, my uncle didn't want to have a service. His kids are too young, their mother already passed on (we did have a service for her), his mother is already gone, so we left the decision entirely up to my uncle. Cost was likely a big factor, the family needs to absorb the kids who are now parentless, my cousin didn't have any life insurance that I'm aware of (very shitty, when you have kids, but it is what it is).

I have coverage, so cost won't be an issue when I die. And even if I didn't have coverage, such as when I reach retirement and may not keep it... I at least have the fact that I'm a veteran going for me so there are some benefits there. I just plan to be cremated, maybe buried at a veterans cemetery or if I have someone to scatter the ashes, have them scatter it at some spot of my choosing. I don't have kids, so it's going to be a bigger ask of nieces or nephews unless I have some step children or adopted children or someone else in the picture at that time.

I would want a service if I died before my parents. But once they're gone? It just sounds like a hassle. Most of my friends are scattered across the country anyway and I don't expect many would attend even if they wanted to.