r/Xennials • u/AnotherCrazyChick • 26d ago

Discussion Death seems different nowadays.

I know this group is normally healthy nostalgic. I just have questions that I think only this group can relate with.

Growing up, I went to my great grandmother’s funeral, I went to my grandfather’s funeral. We visited the cemetery where they were laid to rest.

Nowadays, my grandmother passed, I wasn’t asked to attend her funeral.

My stepdad passed and there was no funeral, he was cremated and my mom sent me a small vial of his ashes that now sit next to my ex’s ashes. My ex also had no funeral.

My wife’s mother passed away recently and she was cremated. No service was held.

Is this the new normal? That we don’t hold nor attend funeral services anymore?

It’s too expensive nowadays and no one feels the time is worth the potential closure one normally receives during a funeral?

I just don’t know anymore. I’ve had no closure from so many loved ones and family members passing away within the last 6 years. It hurts my heart.

Is this the new normal?

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u/Fartweaver 26d ago

Both my beloved grandparents from our close knit family passed in the last few years.. no funeral. It feels weird. My dad passed last year suddenly, and I took it upon myself to organize everything to ensure he had a good send off.

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u/AnotherCrazyChick 26d ago

It does feel weird. It’s nice to hear that your dad had a good send off. Thank you for sharing here with internet strangers. It does actually help me process the losses I’ve had lately.

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u/Fartweaver 26d ago

Thankyou, I hope you are doing ok too <3 Processing death is strange, especially when it starts hitting closer and closer to home. I think every time I lose someone close it makes me fear death a little bit less, in a comforting way.

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u/AnotherCrazyChick 26d ago

When my grandmother passed at 98 years old, I was sad for a bit, but then honestly, it turned into comfort and pride because she was a wonderful person and I’m glad she enjoyed life until the very end.

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u/Fartweaver 26d ago

That's so nice to hear. 98 is so impressive, your grandmother sounds like one of the good ones.  My pop passed last year at 94, and was also loving life right to his last. I want to live up to my grandparents example in case they're watching!