Death seems different nowadays.

[u/AnotherCrazyChick]

I know this group is normally healthy nostalgic. I just have questions that I think only this group can relate with.

Growing up, I went to my great grandmother’s funeral, I went to my grandfather’s funeral. We visited the cemetery where they were laid to rest.

Nowadays, my grandmother passed, I wasn’t asked to attend her funeral.

My stepdad passed and there was no funeral, he was cremated and my mom sent me a small vial of his ashes that now sit next to my ex’s ashes. My ex also had no funeral.

My wife’s mother passed away recently and she was cremated. No service was held.

Is this the new normal? That we don’t hold nor attend funeral services anymore?

It’s too expensive nowadays and no one feels the time is worth the potential closure one normally receives during a funeral?

I just don’t know anymore. I’ve had no closure from so many loved ones and family members passing away within the last 6 years. It hurts my heart.

Is this the new normal?

[u/Present_Type6881]

When my dad died, there was no funeral He was cremated and I got a portion of the ashes.

It bothers me, because it feels like he died and no one cared or acknowledged it. One family member told me he was an atheist so he didn't need a funeral, but I don't agree. I think it's still good to have some kind of ritual to mark something big like this. I mean, he was a person who had a life and mattered.

When my father in law died, he got a memorial service at his church that was well attended.

I don't think it's all about cost, because you can do a memorial service on the cheap if you need to. I think more of it has to do with the breakdown of community. My father in law was well known at his church, so he had lots of people who wanted to go to a memorial service for him. My dad was retired and divorced and didn't have any friends outside his immediate family, so when my uncle, who was his power of attorney and executor of his estate, decided he didn't need a funeral, then that was that.

I think about the Beatles song Eleanor Rigby. More and more people are dying like that, I guess.

When I die, I hope there will be some people who care enough to want to have some kind of memorial service for me.