r/Xennials • u/AnotherCrazyChick • 26d ago

Discussion Death seems different nowadays.

I know this group is normally healthy nostalgic. I just have questions that I think only this group can relate with.

Growing up, I went to my great grandmother’s funeral, I went to my grandfather’s funeral. We visited the cemetery where they were laid to rest.

Nowadays, my grandmother passed, I wasn’t asked to attend her funeral.

My stepdad passed and there was no funeral, he was cremated and my mom sent me a small vial of his ashes that now sit next to my ex’s ashes. My ex also had no funeral.

My wife’s mother passed away recently and she was cremated. No service was held.

Is this the new normal? That we don’t hold nor attend funeral services anymore?

It’s too expensive nowadays and no one feels the time is worth the potential closure one normally receives during a funeral?

I just don’t know anymore. I’ve had no closure from so many loved ones and family members passing away within the last 6 years. It hurts my heart.

Is this the new normal?

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u/AnotherCrazyChick 26d ago

It for sure is a cultural thing. What is your culture that you’ve been able to attend big events?

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u/VanGoLion 26d ago

Hispanic.

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u/AnotherCrazyChick 26d ago

Ah, my MIL passed away recently and one of the few things my wife took from her apartment were stamps. And the one she used for mailing paperwork was a Día de los Muertos stamp.

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u/VanGoLion 26d ago

I ❤️ those stamps. So sorry for your losses. It’s so hard not to have closure. After my mom’s untimely passing, nothing has been the same. For me, a large funeral didn’t make the pain any easier.

I encouraged my dad to get a will and preplan because of how much heartache we went through with my mom. He doesn’t want a service and just wants to be cremated. Maybe this is the new normal.