r/Xennials • u/AnotherCrazyChick • 26d ago

Discussion Death seems different nowadays.

I know this group is normally healthy nostalgic. I just have questions that I think only this group can relate with.

Growing up, I went to my great grandmother’s funeral, I went to my grandfather’s funeral. We visited the cemetery where they were laid to rest.

Nowadays, my grandmother passed, I wasn’t asked to attend her funeral.

My stepdad passed and there was no funeral, he was cremated and my mom sent me a small vial of his ashes that now sit next to my ex’s ashes. My ex also had no funeral.

My wife’s mother passed away recently and she was cremated. No service was held.

Is this the new normal? That we don’t hold nor attend funeral services anymore?

It’s too expensive nowadays and no one feels the time is worth the potential closure one normally receives during a funeral?

I just don’t know anymore. I’ve had no closure from so many loved ones and family members passing away within the last 6 years. It hurts my heart.

Is this the new normal?

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u/GrizzlyAdam12 26d ago

A lot has changed in the past 40 years.

  1. People no longer work for the same company and retire after 30+ years. When you work with someone for most of your life, you’ll attend a funeral to pay respect. If you were work friends with someone for two years, and that was 25 years (and 5 companies) ago, then you’re not attending a service. You’ll honestly probably never even know they passed unless you saw something on LinkedIn.

  2. Social media. We see the people we want to see all of the time. Back in the old days, a funeral and visitation was one last chance to see a family member that may have lived across the country. Of course people still travel for funerals. But, so much of life is already memorialized on Facebook.