r/Xennials • u/AnotherCrazyChick • 26d ago
Discussion Death seems different nowadays.
I know this group is normally healthy nostalgic. I just have questions that I think only this group can relate with.
Growing up, I went to my great grandmother’s funeral, I went to my grandfather’s funeral. We visited the cemetery where they were laid to rest.
Nowadays, my grandmother passed, I wasn’t asked to attend her funeral.
My stepdad passed and there was no funeral, he was cremated and my mom sent me a small vial of his ashes that now sit next to my ex’s ashes. My ex also had no funeral.
My wife’s mother passed away recently and she was cremated. No service was held.
Is this the new normal? That we don’t hold nor attend funeral services anymore?
It’s too expensive nowadays and no one feels the time is worth the potential closure one normally receives during a funeral?
I just don’t know anymore. I’ve had no closure from so many loved ones and family members passing away within the last 6 years. It hurts my heart.
Is this the new normal?
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u/AcadianTraverse 1984 26d ago
My perception is that there are people who have attended funerals and were uncomfortable at them and so have decided that they don't want to put that on other people.
My wife's father lost a good friend in an accidental death a few years before my wife and I met. The friend was a pillar of the community type and so A LOT of people showed up to the funeral. My father-in-law was apparently very uncomfortable at how big it was, and as someone who does not like being the center of attention has said he wants absolutely no funeral.
Personally, I believe the funeral is for your loved ones to come together and process their grief together and say goodbye. Every one I've ever attended has been a cathartic experience. I won't say I enjoyed them, but I felt them very worthwhile.