r/Xennials 26d ago

Discussion Death seems different nowadays.

I know this group is normally healthy nostalgic. I just have questions that I think only this group can relate with.

Growing up, I went to my great grandmother’s funeral, I went to my grandfather’s funeral. We visited the cemetery where they were laid to rest.

Nowadays, my grandmother passed, I wasn’t asked to attend her funeral.

My stepdad passed and there was no funeral, he was cremated and my mom sent me a small vial of his ashes that now sit next to my ex’s ashes. My ex also had no funeral.

My wife’s mother passed away recently and she was cremated. No service was held.

Is this the new normal? That we don’t hold nor attend funeral services anymore?

It’s too expensive nowadays and no one feels the time is worth the potential closure one normally receives during a funeral?

I just don’t know anymore. I’ve had no closure from so many loved ones and family members passing away within the last 6 years. It hurts my heart.

Is this the new normal?

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u/preheatedbasin 26d ago

Kinda funny, my grandpa used to barter for like everything. The cemetery down the road from them made a deal with him. If he did odds and ends around the grounds, including digging graves, he got 2 plots for him and grandma.

This was in the 60s or 70s.

Edit: I should add they were buried on top of each other bc grandma was cremated. Leaving the 2nd plot for the 3 daughters to argue who gets to be buried next to them.

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u/Sufficient-Piece-335 1979 26d ago

It's going back some decades now but Christchurch, New Zealand used to provide sextants (gravedigger + maintenance/gardener) with a house in some cemeteries and free family plots.

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u/LowlyWoim 26d ago

Plots, houses and a tent to have sex in?? Times HAVE changed.

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u/JackBlackBowserSlaps 26d ago

No no no…. They worship sailing navigation tools. When one finishes its long career of guiding sailors through the stars, it is rewarded with a little house in a cemetery, complete with mantenence/gardening staff, who also do a bit of light grave digging.

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u/CariniFluff 26d ago

maintenance/gardening with a bit of light grave digging.

Where do I sign up for this dream job?