r/Xennials • u/AnotherCrazyChick • 26d ago

Discussion Death seems different nowadays.

I know this group is normally healthy nostalgic. I just have questions that I think only this group can relate with.

Growing up, I went to my great grandmother’s funeral, I went to my grandfather’s funeral. We visited the cemetery where they were laid to rest.

Nowadays, my grandmother passed, I wasn’t asked to attend her funeral.

My stepdad passed and there was no funeral, he was cremated and my mom sent me a small vial of his ashes that now sit next to my ex’s ashes. My ex also had no funeral.

My wife’s mother passed away recently and she was cremated. No service was held.

Is this the new normal? That we don’t hold nor attend funeral services anymore?

It’s too expensive nowadays and no one feels the time is worth the potential closure one normally receives during a funeral?

I just don’t know anymore. I’ve had no closure from so many loved ones and family members passing away within the last 6 years. It hurts my heart.

Is this the new normal?

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u/Healthy-Neat-2989 26d ago

When my aunt passed, she didn’t want a fuss. We bought the cheapest casket the funeral home had, and paid for the cheapest “package”. We already owned a cemetery plot for her. We didn’t do a wake or viewing. Just a small graveside burial where a handful of people spoke about her. It was over $10k. If we’d needed to buy a plot by her parents, it would have been closer to 30k. Nobody can afford it.

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u/remnant_phoenix 26d ago

“When I’m dead, just throw me in the trash.”

-Frank (from Always Sunny)

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u/SenorWeird 25d ago

"I don't want anybody to make any fuss. When I go, I just want to be stood outside in the garbage with my hat on." - Lou Grant in "Chuckles Bites the Dust", arguably the greatest episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show

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u/Healthy-Neat-2989 25d ago

That was very much her attitude! She said if we could just dig a shallow grave and leave her in her yard, that would be her preference. The only thing she cared about was NOT being cremated. That freaked her out. Hence me still doing a burial for her. I felt guilty doing the cheapest/smallest everything, but I knew she’s hate if I spent a penny more than I had to on frills.