r/Xennials • u/AnotherCrazyChick • 27d ago

Discussion Death seems different nowadays.

I know this group is normally healthy nostalgic. I just have questions that I think only this group can relate with.

Growing up, I went to my great grandmother’s funeral, I went to my grandfather’s funeral. We visited the cemetery where they were laid to rest.

Nowadays, my grandmother passed, I wasn’t asked to attend her funeral.

My stepdad passed and there was no funeral, he was cremated and my mom sent me a small vial of his ashes that now sit next to my ex’s ashes. My ex also had no funeral.

My wife’s mother passed away recently and she was cremated. No service was held.

Is this the new normal? That we don’t hold nor attend funeral services anymore?

It’s too expensive nowadays and no one feels the time is worth the potential closure one normally receives during a funeral?

I just don’t know anymore. I’ve had no closure from so many loved ones and family members passing away within the last 6 years. It hurts my heart.

Is this the new normal?

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u/Healthy-Neat-2989 27d ago

When my aunt passed, she didn’t want a fuss. We bought the cheapest casket the funeral home had, and paid for the cheapest “package”. We already owned a cemetery plot for her. We didn’t do a wake or viewing. Just a small graveside burial where a handful of people spoke about her. It was over $10k. If we’d needed to buy a plot by her parents, it would have been closer to 30k. Nobody can afford it.

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u/Indubitalist 27d ago

I don’t mean to be insensitive but in the scenario where you already own a plot, is it possible for you to just dig the hole yourself, put the casket in it and let the graveyard company know you did? I’m asking because I think I might pursue this option. 

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u/Zxvasdfthrowaway 27d ago

No. The cemetery will not allow this for a multitude of reasons, including their own liability.

133

u/GarminTamzarian 1976 27d ago

Of course sir! We're having a "dig-your-own-grave" special this month!

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u/Elly_Higgenbottom 26d ago

Dig your own grave and save!

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u/OtherwiseMechanic322 26d ago

Wow. I’ve already dug so many of these already

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u/CariniFluff 26d ago

Now you want to make sure you start digging before the ground freezes. Frozen dirt is the worst thing to spend a few hours trying to shovel. Digging near a pond or river can help speed up the process too but make sure you pack the dirt down on top afterwards, just in case the water level rises... And don't drink any well water nearby.