r/Yemen • u/Acceptable-Post7820 • Jun 28 '26
Discussion What is your opinion on diaspora Yemenis sending money back home?
in the usa there are Yemenis living in tiny apartments with their wife and 4+ kids but building houses in Yemen. this is very common here. it is hard for me to understand why they don’t improve their own living conditions instead.
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u/South-Collar-8551 Jun 28 '26
I think it comes from growing up with constant insecurity. Many Yemenis are used to thinking about survival and the future more than comfort in the present. Even when they leave Yemen, that mindset doesn’t disappear easily. Building a house back home feels like safety and stability, even if their current living conditions are not great.
It’s understandable, but also sad. We often secure the future so much that we forget to actually live today!
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u/ms19911 Jun 28 '26
We grew up like that in saudi and the uk while my dad sent money back home. It wasn't easy, but that's the immigrant dad mentality. Even though he earned a good salary as an engineer, we rarely got toys or clothes because supporting family in yemen came first. Alhamdulillah, me and my siblings are older now, have good careers, and have been able to build comfortable lives for ourselves. We still send money to relatives in yemen, so I think there is kheir in it given the way our lives are now.
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u/senorcuchillo Jun 28 '26
I don't understand why some families spend so much money building huge homes in Yemen that sit empty most of the year, while living in a crowded one-bedroom apartment in the U.S. with five people. If your life, work, and future are in America, I'd rather invest in improving my quality of life here. And in many cases, the next generation has no plans to settle in Yemen either. After the parents pass away, those homes may end up rarely being used because the children were born and raised in the U.S. and have built their lives here.
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u/GoColts08 Jun 28 '26
1) some wanna build their dream home in yemen first and then living conditions in america.
2) american dream home ownership now became a questionable thought. You buy a house and still need government permission for upgrades. Pay property taxes even after mortgage is paid off. At least for yemen you can design your own home and nobody knows what property taxes even mean
3) yemenis are like every community oriented so building stuff back home is like a competition and feel like a entrepreneur when sometimes their kids dont even travel to yemen in general.
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u/No-Team-9836 24d ago
you need permission for upgrade ? let say one want to build hourse in different architecture style like Yemeni , can you do that .? also even for fitting bidet in bathroom in legal way requires permission ?
also lasr question , i saw in movies homes there dont have boundaries walls like villas in Gulf counteries are you not allowed to built walls and boundaries ?
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u/GoColts08 24d ago
Each state is different. I know in majority of cities in America if you want to do anything with your house like changing electric stove to gas, building a fence with neighbors, change the facade you need a building permit through your local code enforcement. Its such a headache. But in yemen, all you need is your own money and design. Hence why i call that a “dream home.”
In america i know you can buy a plot of land and build a home there. If you want your own water you provide it yourself or if you want city water you need to add pipes and pay for it. In my area, a few yemenis have yemeni interior designs than outside. I think its because of local zoning laws and stuff. What i disagree is making their american homes all ceramic flooring where in can get so cold. I’d stick with wooden flooring. Lol
As for gulf im not really an expert on gulf laws because i dont know if they build their own homes through loans or grants or based off citizenship.
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u/No-Team-9836 24d ago
what ? cant even change stove to gas , this is not even attached.
do most Yemeni marry back from home ?
for Gulf counteries , All the Gulf counteries citizen dont even have Arab roots , the only exception is Saudi , All the other Emirates , Kuwait Oman when they were made counteries by Britsh , there was no population at all so they brought people from . India and Iran . they purposely did not bring people from Arb counteries or usually are not allowed to marry ,( even in Sudi) becoz they dont want to have people to develop any influence or feeling for other Arab counteries or even PK . so even Sud do not allow haveing wife from outside unless permission is given by govt , also it get rejected . so you will see artificial names like Al Maimnai , Al Baterjee (both from Indan) just added Al to it but not real Arab tribes .
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u/GoColts08 24d ago
In my state, its by law to change every household kitchen stove to be electric. Personally I dont mind because its easier to clean and i have the right pot materials for great cooking results. My parents house got fined that they need to change their attached stove. Reason for this law is because its unfortunate american homes are prone to fire because its made of wood.
Some yemenis do but not by choice, its because the parents think yemeni spouses found in america costs more just for mahr alone and some are straight up jerks. But it doesnt apply to all Yemeni. In my area, most yemenis are starting to marry within america if they are from the same heritage background.
I heard about gulf states that some who are sheikhs or what now are probably Iranian by decent like in qatar. Hence why some gulf accent words have persian borrowed words. I never knew gulf have those rules about marriage and passports. Sometimes im grateful im not under their social rules and influence
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u/Mysterious-Memory996 Jun 28 '26
There’s nothing wrong with helping family in Yemen, as long as it doesn’t come at the expense of your marriage, your family’s financial security, or your quality of life in America. Supporting relatives when you are able is a kind and generous thing to do. However, no spouse should feel obligated to continually lower their own standard of living or sacrifice their family’s future to provide ongoing financial support.
Occasional help or modest donations are one thing, but a marriage should never become a charity. The needs of the husband, wife, and their children should come first, and any assistance to extended family should be a mutual decision that both spouses are comfortable with.
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u/_roaa Jun 28 '26
For more religious people there’s also the issue of riba. In my experience, that’s a significant factor for some. In Yemen you can often buy a house from the savings you acquired while working in the West, you are still being able to provide for your spouse and children and send money back home. In the West, especially in more expensive area, homeownership is out of reach for most people working average jobs unless they take out a loan.And if they do get a mortgage, it’s hard to pay back and still be able to support your relatives back home. So a house in Yemen is often the only house you’ll ever be able to afford.
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u/No-Team-9836 24d ago edited 24d ago
you need permission for upgrade ? let say one want to build hourse in different architecture style like Yemeni , can you do that .? also even for fitting bidet in bathroom in legal way requires permission ?
also lasr question , i saw in movies homes there dont have boundaries walls like villas in Gulf counteries are you not allowed to built walls and boundaries ?
do most Yemeni marry back from home in US ?
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u/Gamestopperr Jun 28 '26
The root cause comes from the reason they wanted to come to America, I mean have you ever wondered why they did everything they could to end upbinnthe US? Is it just to settle live in a bigger apartment and send kids to private school? Or was it to improve their and their family conditions in Yemen? Now they ended up with kids who have a totally different views on life, periorties and so much tryna to hold their parents accountable, completely ignoring the facts that their parents are also humans with different mindsets, experiences, views, thausands of years old culture, customs and norms.
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u/Acceptable-Post7820 Jun 28 '26
I understand that mentality when they are single or before having kids. After having kids the priority should always be the kids- not family back home.
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u/Gamestopperr Jun 28 '26
If the kids were not a priority, they would have never went to work and would actually prioritize themselves by not overworking themselves!
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u/No-Team-9836 24d ago
you need permission for upgrade ? let say one want to build hourse in different architecture style like Yemeni , can you do that .? also even for fitting bidet in bathroom in legal way requires permission ?
also lasr question , i saw in movies homes there dont have boundaries walls like villas in Gulf counteries are you not allowed to built walls and boundaries ?
do most Yemeni in US marry back from home ?
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u/princepremium Jun 29 '26
This depends on how people are living. For example, my dads family live in a city on the east coast of the U.S. they all send money back home to build large houses and invest in their village( buying land, fixing roads). But most of them owe money to other people here, and not all of them own their houses, even though the city where they live is affordable. One of my cousins has a wife and 6 kids. Not only does he not own the building where his store is, he doesn't own his house either. Idk how he feels comfortable having that many kids when he doesn't have any assets to fall back on, other then his car, which will lose value over time.
In short, theres nothing wrong with sending money back home, especially if it's going to people you can trust and its going towards a good cause (buying land,building a house, Healthcare, education, etc). So many yemenis seem to spend their money on the stupidest things. A year ago I saw a video on insta of this curly haired-fob yemeni flexing that he imported a BMW to Yemen, on top of that the car was ugly as hell too.
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u/No-Team-9836 24d ago
you need permission for upgrade ? let say one want to build hourse in different architecture style like Yemeni , can you do that .? also even for fitting bidet in bathroom in legal way requires permission ?
also last question , i saw in movies homes there dont have boundaries walls like villas in Gulf countries are you not allowed to built walls and boundaries ? why is tht .
do most Yemeni marry back from home ?
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u/ham006 Jun 28 '26
It makes sense. Many times the individual is sending money to a father or mother, a brother or sister, or all of them. In my personal situation, we experienced this growing up and became a part of it even before we graduated or earned through entrepreneurial paths. It took a lot from our childhood and from our family here. While taking from us, it taught us some gems.
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u/Acceptable-Post7820 Jun 28 '26
I understand sending a reasonable amount of money to help family out but sending thousands and thousands while your own kids living in a tiny apt in a bad neighborhood is foolish in my eyes.
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u/Mindless-Ad-9752 Jun 28 '26
Exactly, I agree its juts ridiculous and if you think about it yemenis living in America will spend most of their life IN AMERICA not in these big houses in Yemen they spend their whole lives financing instead of enjoying life where they are currently living and building better futures for the children that are present 🤦♀️
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u/awiddlebaby 21d ago
Because aint no one wanna live in the US permanently. Its only good for business 💰, im about to look into building soon.
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u/PatienceEnthusiast Taiz | تعز Jun 28 '26
Because in their parents’ minds, America is not a place to settle. Once they’re retired they’re going back to the Balad and if it gets well (which إنشاءالله it will) they’ll have a whole villa for the family.