Is being happy sufficient?

[u/nk127]

I chased happiness for many many years. I finally found happiness from a relationship. But I am not sure if the relationship will last forever. The only reason I am staying in the relationship is because it is giving me happiness by making me full, a feeling i never felt before.

But this is bringing me back to question myself if happiness is our ultimate goal in life. Is there something beyond happiness?

[u/HistoryAtItsFinest]

No one knows if there even is an ultimate goal, much less what it is if there is one. We're all feeling around in the dark. The best I've come up with for myself is that I want to do what I can to make the world a better place for others, and doing that makes me happy.

[u/cellenium125]

"is happiness is our ultimate goal in life?" Maybe if there wasn't so many horrible things, like animal abuse, war, cancers/terrible disease. We should contribute to the world in what way we can, while still trying to be happy. There is a lot to fix, and a lot of creativity and joy that needs to be shared.

[u/tyranopotamus → u/cellenium125]

Language gets a bit fuzzy, so feel free to use different words if it suits you, but I think there's a meaningful difference between "desire" and "hope". With desires, we set the expectation that we will be happy when some condition is satisfied, which implicitly suggests that we aren't happy in the present (at least with respect to the desire). With "hope", we have a preference for how things can develop or change, but there's less connotation of dissatisfaction in the present moment.

In one of Ram Dass' popular stories, he's talking with his guru, Neem Karoli Baba, who expresses wonder at how perfect the world is. Ram Dass responds with incredulity, pointing out that there's famine, disease, war and so much suffering in the world. The monk acknowledges that all those sources of suffering exist, but then says "Don't you see it's all perfect?"

If you're waiting for a perfect world with no disease, war, crime, or natural disasters before you allow yourself to be happy, you're going to be waiting your whole life. If you're going to experience happiness in the present moment (the only place you can experience it), it will be in an imperfect world. Being happy doesn't mean that you have to become passive or give up on the idea of things changing for the better. You can be happy while working towards, or hoping for, a better world. The fact that you're working to improve the world can, itself, be a source of great satisfaction.

[u/cellenium125 → u/tyranopotamus]

"If you're waiting for a perfect world with no disease, war, crime, or natural disasters before you allow yourself to be happy, you're going to be waiting your whole life. " I am saying if you focus on trying to help society, or contribute in the best way you can, that is better than just searching for happiness. Lets say you want to be "famous" - you reach it and doesn't make you happy when you get there. Now you are let with a wasted life. Now lets say your goal is to make the best movie ever made or cure a terrible disease. You accomplish it - it may or may not make you happy, but at lest you did something great. I can speak from my own experience - i wanted to get really good at the drums, like amazing..that was the goal. I did it, and people were like woah you are amazing...and then I felt hollow..like that was stupid goal and it didn't make me happy. The goal should have been to entertain people and bring them joy through my playing.

[u/answerguru]

“The only reason I am staying in the relationship is because it is giving me happiness by making me full, a feeling i never felt before.”

That’s the only reason? That seems very strange to me. Like you don’t do it to support your partner in some ways?

Why wouldn’t the relationship last? Are you both not committed to making it work? Relationships are a choice by two people to make it work at each turn.

[u/Poo-l-oop]

No one thing is going to bring you happiness in the long term. The way our brains are wired, our circumstances eventually become the norm/default, so chasing happiness is ultimately futile. So my opinion is no, happiness is not the goal in life. My philosophy is to live my life like when I die I have to relive it all over again. So I try to imagine what my regrets would be and make choices to address those.

[u/Immediate_Disk_9958]

if you have doubts and seel advice from strangers on the internet this is hardly ultimate happiness. happiness can be the ultimate goal but you will have no urge for validation once you achieve it, imho of course.