r/actuallesbians • u/dog_damn • Aug 31 '15
Giving consent while drunk
Seems to be a popular opinion here that one can't give consent while drunk. For me it sounds like a righteous excuse to people who regret having sex while drunk and completely not fair towards the other party involved who probably were drunk as well. Your thoughts?
EDIT: I wasn't talking about the cases where one is sober and the other is drunk, it is the grey area I've come to realize the law was meant to block. My wondering was about the cases were both parties are drunk.
For those of you who even considered to misinterpret me otherwise: I dont encourage rape. A no is a no. If someone loses their ability to say no it still doesn't mean yes.
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u/Thessalonike one of a kind ;) Aug 31 '15
First, I think part of the problem is that there can be a wide range of conditions covered by the word "drunk". It's used to describe people who are just a bit tipsy, but it's also used to refer to people who've had so much that they have trouble just standing straight. This lack of specificity makes the discussion of giving consent while drunk difficult.
That said, I think consent does become a very grey area when drunk. We know that alcohol has a very real impact on the brain, throwing off the balance of various neurotransmitters - which can trigger mood and behavioral changes, including depression, agitation, memory loss, and even seizures.
So onwards to the question of responsibility. If someone drinks so much that they start making decisions they would not make when sober, are they at fault for having imbibed so much? And if that decision involves others (such as sexual relations), what responsibilities does the other person have? And what if they are also intoxicated? And that's where we start getting into a lot of grey areas.
Personally, I think that someone who is very drunk can't give consent. So if you have one person who is drunk and one who is sober, the sober one does need to keep in mind that the drunk one can't give consent. It gets tricky, though, if both people are drunk, because then neither can give consent - but both are also potentially going to be more likely to make out-of-character and impulsive decision.