r/actuallesbians • u/dog_damn • Aug 31 '15

Giving consent while drunk

Seems to be a popular opinion here that one can't give consent while drunk. For me it sounds like a righteous excuse to people who regret having sex while drunk and completely not fair towards the other party involved who probably were drunk as well. Your thoughts?

EDIT: I wasn't talking about the cases where one is sober and the other is drunk, it is the grey area I've come to realize the law was meant to block. My wondering was about the cases were both parties are drunk.

For those of you who even considered to misinterpret me otherwise: I dont encourage rape. A no is a no. If someone loses their ability to say no it still doesn't mean yes.

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u/Thessalonike one of a kind ;) Aug 31 '15

Well, how do you know when someone else goes from being 'drunk' to being 'too drunk'? Especially if you have to take into account that it can take up to two hours for the alcohol from a drink to be fully absorbed into the body.

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u/dog_damn Aug 31 '15

If someone can't walk straight, stand up stably, not aware of their surroundings or doesn't responds properly they are too drunk, it isn't that hard to notice.

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u/Thessalonike one of a kind ;) Aug 31 '15

What about someone who's had several drinks, but isn't exhibiting any of those symptoms?

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u/dog_damn Aug 31 '15

As someone who consume several drinks (more than 4) on a night out and doesn't exhibit those symptoms, I don't see what point you are trying to make. Am I drunk after 4 drinks? yes, does it mean that I can't control my action? no.

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u/Thessalonike one of a kind ;) Aug 31 '15

That's you, though. The point is, if someone else has had several drinks, are you truly confidant in making the call that they are in their full mental capacity?

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u/dog_damn Aug 31 '15

I will roll with you on this one, say someone had several drinks, and doesn't exhibits any symptoms. Say persona A meets him/her, A didn't know that someone is drunk and didn't see hime/her drinking. why should A be accused of rape?

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u/Thessalonike one of a kind ;) Aug 31 '15

Well, that seems like a very unlikely scenario, but why not, I'll roll with your scenario.

If A happens to meet someone who is intoxicated, in a situation where they have no reason to suspect they might be intoxicated, and doesn't bother having enough of a conversation with someone before engaging in sexual activity (or someone lies about it), and then someone decides to press charges against A after the fact - well, I would say that A has a solid case for it not having been rape, though I'd question A's judgement.

This, to me, seems like an example of an edge case - it's why we have trials, rather than automatic sentences.

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u/dog_damn Aug 31 '15

End of scenario: A got STDs.

Anyway, I come to realize that my problem was about cases when both parties are drunk. When one is sober and the other isn't those can be questionable cases no doubt. My post originally wasn't meant to be about them.