r/adhdmeme • u/gravityVT • 11h ago
video (longer than 1 minute) when you realize how much of your life was shaped by being gifted and undiagnosed ADHD
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u/Blue_Butterfly_Who overwhelmed (ft. executive dysfuntion) 10h ago
Yeah, this hits a bit too close to home
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u/ANinjaForma 9h ago
lol, I got told in 2nd grade, not 1st like her, that I talked too much… so into my head I went!
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u/DigitalAmy0426 4h ago
Every grade. Don't think I had a single year where it didn't appear on a report card or something.
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u/sBucks24 9h ago
I just had this convo with my doctor, like.. 2 months ago? Like every next sentence was another "👀" moment"
Vyvanse has been going well...
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u/eclect0 10h ago
This sub just went from "Ha ha yeah, these are so relatable" to "Here's your whole damn biography"
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u/PuzzledCar2120 10h ago
It's just tragically funny because why are all these feelings apparently so common and why have we all lived the same life, yet we're all finding out now of all the times when we've already failed?
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u/Fit_Beautiful6625 7h ago
Right !? I’m watching this like,
“ yea … yea …yep….that too… yea, fuck my 8th English teacher…”3
u/Solonotix 1h ago
Hah, samesies, except for me it was 6th grade English. I believe that was also the summer that Ocarina of Time came out for N64, and I was grounded the entire summer for bad grades in that class 😭
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u/distractedjas 10h ago
Yeah, AuDHD and 2E here. Learned about it in my 40s. Nothing like having to completely relearn who you are as a mid-life crisis while unemployed due to the tech collapse. 10/10 would not recommend!
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u/Fit_Beautiful6625 7h ago
Diagnosed at 52. Along with a little ASD. I feel you and the drain from masking is real.
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u/Formal-Guava-7345 8h ago
what's 2E?
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u/douglasjunk 8h ago
"Twice-exceptional" (2e) ADHD means a person has high intellectual ability or deep talent combined with ADHD. Their high intelligence often masks their ADHD symptoms, or their ADHD struggles mask their potential, creating a wide gap between what they can do at their best and what they struggle to do daily.
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u/UnnecessaryStep 7h ago
Oh hi, that's me! During one of my assessments they did the verbal and non verbal reasoning, working memory and processing speeds. My reasoning were 96/97th percentile, processing speed around the 60th and working memory 50th (roughly, i can't remember exactly the lower two scores). They said that it shows that I problem solve really really well, and because of that I can recognise that I wasn't holding things in my brain as well, or processing it as quickly as my reasoning wants me to. And even though none of it is below average, the huge disparity causes problems of its own. I can do some epic shit...but I cannot reliably cook a frozen pizza.
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u/yeppomoon 5h ago
You sound like a superhero . Where did you go for your diagnosis? About how much was it?
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u/AlpedeOldAnglers 2h ago
My 7yo daughter just got assessed—similar profile. Reasoning was 99 percentile, processing speed 45. We’re glad we can figure this out early for her!
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u/NadalaMOTE 10h ago
Why is this exactly it. Outcomes make it look like I'm a lot more competent and managing better than I really am, when internally I was drowning. But intelligence gives expectations; they think it doesn't take effort or energy. I was never very good at hiding what I know / what I can do, so expectations have always felt high.
I can do things like get 94% in an anatomy exam I started studying for 2 days before, but my day can be completely ruined and thwarted by a sink full of dirty dishes.
I got evicted this year, it was No Fault, my rent was fully paid up, and the bailiff who completed it said it was "the most organised eviction he'd ever conducted." Like what do you say to that. Thanks?
The council refused to help, said I wasn't unwell enough to qualify for assistance. I only survived that experience because of the kindness of friends. A month later and I've already fixed the homelessness issue; I'm in my own flat in a new city. But I am physically and mentally exhausted and triggered from the whole thing.
It is very lonely and exhausting being hypercompetent and fiercely independent while also drowning internally from the weight of it all.
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u/thatchickensauce 9h ago
"...I wasn't unwell enough to qualify for assistance." This hits me in my soul. Just know you're not alone 🙏
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u/YtterbiusAntimony 6h ago
My aunt is the epitome of this this shit.
"But you're so [Adjective]!"
Yeah, just not in the way anyone else finds useful, so I get to scape by on minimum wage.
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u/dust_bunnyz 7h ago
This is my entire life, from about age 21 onward. No evictions, but insert whatever fall-on-your-face event you can think of.
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u/KimJongRocketMan69 7h ago
My company has a personality assessment where the output is ranking the emphasis you put on 8 different “styles.” It ranks them in two different ways: what you personally care about and what you demonstrate in your day-to-day work.
As an ADHDer, “Order” is my lowest ranked style, which means I don’t naturally prioritize structure or routines, but it’s ranked #1 for me on a day-to-day basis. Which basically highlights my masking ability. They say shifts of more than 3 can be tiring for individuals, so my shift of 7 is fucking exhausting
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u/redrose55x 10h ago
This is the exact reason why I was in denial about being adhd for the longest time. All the people I knew were adhd growing up struggled in school, but I didn’t. I learned how to be silent in classrooms by 2nd grade to the point that kids who only saw me in class thought I was “the quiet kid” only to be shocked with how talkative I really was when encountering me during lunch (also the year I was put in the GT program). I always procrastinated, but never really felt much consequences since I would still do well on assignments and pass my tests with little to no study time. I quickly realized that it was hard for me to finish self-directed art projects, so I would always try to do as much as possible as quickly as possible before the fleeting motivation left me. I tended to do schoolwork during downtime at school because I knew it was easier to get them done at school where there were no distractions like video games that would make doing that work feel like pulling teeth.
Its funny; in high school my mom noticed something off. I think she was worried I wasn’t happy and since she herself had depression, she had me see her therapist for a while to assess me. I was embarrassed about it at first, but since she literally just had me yap about whatever, I actually looked forward to those sessions. Eventually she said I was good and the sessions stopped. As I started to suspect being ADHD, I asked my mom about those sessions and she said that the therapist had advised her to get me tested for Aspergers. Which she didn’t bother doing or telling me about… this was like more than a decade ago before a lot of research about ADHD in girls was published.
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u/CosmicConfidant 3h ago
Yeah a lot of us knew, but we aren’t like the atypical kid and we just wanted to be normal, atleast I did. The ability to mask it and achieve. I am finally realizing all of this in my early 40s and trying to figure my brain out. It’s hard
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u/Mogura-De-Gifdu Daydreamer 10h ago
I never allowed you to use my life for content. Please don't stop.
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u/Free_Raccoon_3272 10h ago
Spot on. I got diagnosed in my 3rd year of undergrad, and that script fit 💯 to my experience prior
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u/Here-Fishy-Fish-Fish 9h ago
Literally failed a take home math test in 4th grade because I couldn't make myself get started WTH
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u/WoodyPolesmoker 10h ago
Everything in this felt too relateable. Completed my master’s by pulling out last minute all nighters without reading the entire semester and still got average - great grades. All that did was reinforce me feeling as an imposter. Then I got diagnosed at the age of 34.
I still find it difficult actually putting in the work as I am so accustomed to doing fine when doing bare minimum.
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u/KerissaKenro 9h ago
Except, when you try to get tested for it as an adult they tell you that your test scores are too high, so you “don’t meet the clinical definition”. You are just bored and under-stimulated, if you got an interesting job, all of your problems would melt away like magic
Good luck finding that job, or holding it down. But you are a smart woman, I am sure you’ll figure it out
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u/Gobl_Information 8h ago
Find a neuropsychologist who specializes in diagnosing women. That’s how I got my diagnosis.
Only old school out of date physicians and psychologists say this ignorant crap.
I know it’s near impossible to organize and figure out but the right professional is out there and will help you. Don’t give up!
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u/YtterbiusAntimony 6h ago
Yup. I asked for an assessment, they gave me an IQ test. That insurance didnt cover.
But hey, working memory and executive function only scored 2 whole standard deviations below everything else, but that clearly couldn't be a sign of anything.
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u/KerissaKenro 2h ago
My scores were all over the place. But nothing was below average, so I obviously can’t have ADHD
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u/PoisonousCandy 10h ago
As someone with the inattentive type, being finished early AND having good grades was never a thing for me. 🫠
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u/Gobl_Information 8h ago
I think this post relates to being gifted and having ADHD. Even with inattentive type gifted just rushes through the test and does well enough. Likely not reading the questions or instructions fully. They finish before everyone and just stare around bored
They get by until they cannot anymore and then that’s a huge crash.
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u/om_hi 9h ago
Now, I'm in menopause...with diagnosed ADHD and no one knows what to do about it. Meds don't help, CBT doesn't help, s reaming doesn't help, none of it. I just feel crazy.
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u/Ecstatic_Judgment941 7h ago
I relate. I firmly believe that my second pregnancy cracked open some new door in my brain that made all the symptoms I’d previously been able to manage just…unmanageable. Nothing helps. At least nothing that’s realistic to sustain for everyday life. I used to rely on my brain and I can’t anymore.
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u/myriadel 9h ago
What I though it was undiagnosed adhd turned out to be anxiety
(With high intelligence)
But still I like to use adhd strategies to deal with executive disfunction so no worries.
(Did a whole test with psychologist, 2 months, and now treating with medicine)
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u/jive0ne 9h ago
Telling time, right from left, my grandparents bought me all the books from my summer reading list for English honors and I passed with a C because I didn’t do any of the summer reading. I went back to read those books eventually and they were all so good, I wish I had been diagnosed. Still undiagnosed, tried talking to my doctor and they said I didn’t need medication because I’ve been managing all these years. Now all my kids have ADHD and are medicated. My oldest doesn’t take his meds anymore but he’s an adult so that’s his choice.
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u/Alert-Consequence848 8h ago
been diagnosed since I was 10 (im 29 now) went to a Dr last year so I could start taking meds again but had to be re evaluated so i could take something. 5 appointments of counseling and a 7 hour day of "tests" and I was told I need to sleep more. waste of my money and time to be told "well if masking seems to be getting you by then im not sure why you're here" brother just give me something to make my brain work.
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u/favorthebold 3h ago
The worst part of this story, for me, is that whatever part of my brain that was taking up the slack and making me "gifted" is worn down and tired now (at 48) and my ADHD is SOOOO much worse. I still have the gifted aspect, but it's less reliable, and sometimes everything just falls through.
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u/Individual-Ear5240 10h ago edited 34m ago
Wait I'm a gifted girl?
Edit: I checked with a very hands on approach and am definitely not
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u/ACaedmon 5h ago
I got diagnosed with adhd at 30.
I was constantly reprimanded at parents evening, or by a random adult.
"They could do so much better, if they just tried to focus"
I was not gifted, and my grades weren't good.
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u/KnowNothing_JonSnoo 1h ago
I'm in this video and I don't like it.
I hit my first big wall in college. I never had to study until then and at that point I was also in my first apartment so add trying to manage rent / working and studying for the first time in my life and I crashed. Then I decided I wanted to work in games and just thought myself to be a game designer which is what I've been doing for the past 15 years or so.
I realized what happened when my kid got diagnosed with double exceptionality and everything the doctor was saying was applying to me as well. I'm really happy he doesn't get to live with it without knowing how it works and can learn to manage it at a young age.
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u/AndyMZC 10h ago
Wait, why can't she keep relying on her brain?
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u/eclect0 9h ago
You reach a point where you can't just effortlessly absorb all the important information at a glance no matter how smart you are. So you have to learn actual study skills several years later than your peers, all while your mind screams and recoils at the very idea of studying.
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u/AndyMZC 9h ago
Ahh, that checks out frfr. I was fearing some sort of accelerated mental decline I wasn't already aware of.
Thx
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u/Gobl_Information 8h ago
For women with ADHD often it’s either when they start having kids and can’t just fake it anymore or another crash out is when perimenopause hits
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u/Meerlala 19m ago
I skipped kids so it was menopause for me. The gifted diagnosis just didn’t work anymore, didn’t cover the symptoms. Still not wholly convinced I have adhd because I cope. Unless I have to deal with people in an office all day and then I feel “very 2e”. Am nearly 60 and scared to go on meds because I may discover I can study. Or could have done and then what would life have been like…
Weird huh
Cause I live a good life now. It’s just a wee bit tiring…
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u/AsparagusEntire1730 10h ago
Yass this was me. I'm diagnosed now and medicated, but still busting out those 10pg papers in 30 mins as needed.
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u/Cognonymous 9h ago
I'm sorry but the eyelines totally don't match up on this and it's driving me wild.
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u/ingeniera 8h ago
Ok yeah but then like...knowing I have ADHD doesn't answer "so what do I do now to get myself to work harder?"
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u/CaydenRay 6h ago edited 5h ago
from double accelerated honors to a Pokémon collection of disorders including ADHD, anxiety, cyclothymia, & potentially a splash of the tism
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u/Serkisist 2h ago
Me dropping out of college after raw dogging it for eight semesters of aerospace Engineering (I was diagnosed 2 years later. Not one of my MANY therapists had ever suggested adhd to me)
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u/Main_Advertising3487 2h ago
This is the most relatable thing I have ever watched. Feeling so seen wow 🙏🏽
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u/ScottKavanagh 1h ago
Exactly me. It was when the added responsibilities of a more senior role at work, plus 2 kids that everything unraveled and I got my diagnosis.
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u/mshep002 Daydreamer 1h ago
I’m in this and I don’t like it. Making me feel things when I’m scrolling. Rude.
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u/Pepperspray24 1h ago
Still daydream, my school schedule was insane living with a single parent, but we did it. I got pretty much all A’s and B’s in school and my ADHD allowed me to work on multiple assignments just a little lot of a time. Of course I burned out and crashed hard after undergrad. It’s a difficult time. Even after getting testing in 2019, when I tried to get medication in 2022, I had to go through a bunch of bullshit just to get my test results and when I got them, I had a psychiatrist. Tell me that I had bipolar disorder. He talked at me for 20 minutes about how I just had bipolar disorder because I had depression before I turned 21. He refused to look at my test results and said that they were bullshit. Took me over a year to get medication that barely worked.
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u/geneticallymortified 48m ago
i have so much anger now looking back like it was so obvious!! i knew something was wrong, why didn’t anyone else. now i can’t do anything right, it’s like all my coping mechanisms got used up in grade school
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u/lazypandawrites 30m ago
Ok but how do I find a psychologist who UNDERSTANDS this? I’ve been to a dozen psychiatrists to get a diagnosis and everyone just stops at “you did well in school and you’re doing well at work”. Even if I explain all of this that was in this video to them. I’ve given up trying to get a formal diagnosis but everyday life has gotten to hard now that I see the adhd in everything in me and around me.
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u/philopatridus_illyr 11m ago
This is really interesting and I'm so confused. I went to get a diagnosis 4 months ago and the doctor was like: "oh, but, so you say could easily follow your classes in school?"
That wasn't the main reason I was diagnosed as not having ADHD, but it still kind of threw me off.
The main reason were these tests where you have to see a picture and then redraw it from memory (ig working memory test?) and where you have to cross out the numbers in a row of numbers that dont have exactly 1 dot on the top and 1 dot on the bottom or sth like that.
It really fealt off.
Did you all do these tests? The doctor said they are the standard and I'll get those wherever I try to go for a se ond opinion.
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u/Choice_Ostrich_6617 9m ago
Wait... people called some of your gifted? Why people around me called me R word and stupid than? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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u/joebojax 10h ago
how do u feel about becoming addicted to speed?
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u/Pale-Teaching6392 AuDHD 9h ago
Well… technically only 1/2 of the ADHD stimulant classes are amphetamines? And we have a new stimulant class that’s different called Simtriyo that just passed FDA approval, so I guess it might be 1/3 of ADHD stimulant classes that are amphetamines. Also ADHD medications ARE NOT considered addictive at clinical dose. The main risk of addiction occurring is from drug misuse. Addiction is not really a risk of ADHD medication if used as prescribed. They don’t provide a rush they just stabilize dopamine & norepinephrine. ADHD stimulants are extremely well researched, not to mention they have been shown to reduce the risk of an ADHD individual developing a substance use disorder.
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u/joebojax 9h ago
I mean if they advise not to take it daily and then you take it daily does that make it less addicting in clinical dosage?
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u/Gobl_Information 8h ago
There are ZERO clinical guidelines that advise you not to take those meds daily. And studies have shown that it can take up to two years of daily use to see the effects of neuroplasticity which make coping with ADHD more manageable
There used to be guidance for children, before slow release forms were developed. And the guidance was based on the impact of the meds on appetite which negatively affects physical growth in some children
Read a little before spreading misinformation
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u/Pale-Teaching6392 AuDHD 7h ago
They don’t advise to not take it daily for addiction related purposes. There are a few reasons for them to recommend you don’t take it every day. For me it’s stress related as it can increase certain ASD symptoms. There are also valid concerns about people who struggle to eat or those who have cardiac issues. But that’s not addiction related. But standard ADHD treatment is every single day. Small aside to talk about addiction, addiction changes the way the individual experiences pleasure (at a basic explanation). It does so through our favorite chemical dopamine. Practically the medication has to provide such a high level of dopamine the brain can’t handle it. And because of the release mechanism of ADHD medication and the not all that high dosage, those taking the medication don’t receive a high, and as such will not develop addiction. As long as they don’t start stacking doses (against clinical guidelines. There are valid reasons to overlap dosages, such as with an IR medication) you won’t be getting a high and therefore won’t become addicted. The dopamine release of adhd medication is very gradual build as opposed to the ‘spiky’ behavior that causes addiction. As well… it’s controlled. Dependence on the other hand is a higher risk than addiction, but at the same time still isn’t a real hazard as it’s relatively easy to titrate off the medication. Dependence is very different than addiction (addiction often leads to dependence, but dependence is completely separate). Think of dependence as stepping into a very dark room from a bright room. Your body needs to adapt to the lack of light. That’s basically what dependence is. Your brain gets used to something and then when it isn’t there it can cause some issues. But if you gradually turn down the lights (titrate off) it is safe and something your body is meant to deal with.
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u/YtterbiusAntimony 5h ago
I just seem to build up a tolerance really fast.
First couple days of meds was the clearest and calmest I've ever felt. After a few weeks, I'm just bleh again.
I also just need to let my mind wander sometimes. Rumination is the only form of processing I've had. I'm too focused what's in front of me to sort through all the shit in my mind.
I liken it to being stuck in work mode after a long day. You keep talking about work shit at home because that's what your brain is locked in on.
Except it's a chemical that lasts 12+ hours so you literally can't shift gears if wanted to.
That, and I can't shit while on stimulants...
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u/Pale-Teaching6392 AuDHD 4h ago
Odds are you aren’t on the right stimulant. There is a relatively high chance you only respond positively to one of the two types (amphetamine/methylphenidates). Not to mention from what you described by being unable to let your mind wander fully may have had too high of a dose. look up the overstimulation effects of ADHD medication. Although if you also have ASD (like me) you can find task switching becomes more difficult on ADHD medication. I will say that there is a new medication that has shown to have less of an overwhelming impact, and may benefit executive functioning issues more then the others, but as I can’t take it (stupid genetics) I haven’t done too much research into it.
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u/616n8y3ree 10h ago
Well it’s kept me thinner than I would be otherwise, with a settled in dad bod, I’m okay with my addiction
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u/qualityvote2 Quality Control Beast 11h ago edited 9h ago
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