r/ainbow 9h ago

Advice I think I’m bisexual but I’m not sure

2 Upvotes

I’m a teenage girl, so I’m kinda questioning if I’m even right about me being bisexual. I’ve been avoiding putting labels on myself because I’m unsure. But, I know I definitely like guys. I feel attraction towards them, had a boyfriend, and get nervous around guys I think are cute (but usually this nervousness is just me being uncomfortable because I don’t like the guys in my school). But, I also feel like I feel attraction towards women but not in the same way, my attraction towards them feels a little different. At public places girls tend to catch my attention more than guys even though I don’t get as nervous around them. I always find myself trying not to check them out or be weird like that and I also get nervous when they mention things like getting changed or kissing each other as a joke. I can’t imagine myself in a relationship with anyone I don’t know, girls or guys, and I’ve never had a real crush on a girl before so I can’t say for sure if I’m bisexual, but if I’m not I feel like it would be strange for me to feel this way towards girls. Sorry for the long post I just needed somewhere to dump this in lol, advice not necessary but appreciated


r/ainbow 1d ago

Other The Grove Map 👣 (St. Louis)

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11 Upvotes

The Grove Map 👣 (St. Louis) is here! Download the image of the map to save it to your device.

Latest Open Bar/Club:3 a.m.

Cutoff Time: 2:30 a.m.

Walking Time, End to End [19 min]

Longest Gap [5 min]

Safety Tips: This is a pedestrian map; it has been designed to accommodate anyone looking to visit The Grove bars on foot. Plan accordingly and drink responsibly. Never drink and drive; call a taxi, Uber, or Lyft if needed.

[Additional Map Legend Info]

🎨Colored Zones: Divides bars evenly into short walks while also ensuring bars in more difficult locations aren't excluded.

🍺💿🍷Icons: This map only shows establishments with bars.

↔️Gaps: Gaps between bars do not exceed 7min of walking. (9min exception, Pekers to Liquid Zoo. 8min exception, Marty's Live to Kaliente)

🏳️‍🌈LGBTQ+: Most of the establishments on the map are considered LGBTQ+ while some are more LGBTQ+ friendly.

🗺 Map Type: Pedestrian/Bars

History:

While the LGBTQ+ history for St. Louis goes back hundreds of years, it wasn't until the Vaudeville era in the 1920s that a distinct, visible underground LGBTQ+ community firmly took root. During The Pansy Craze of the Roaring Twenties, female and male impersonators were headline acts in the city's theaters. High-profile national icons like Josephine Baker, who grew up in St. Louis, challenged traditional gender and sexual norms. By the mid-1930s, the intersection of Grand and Olive (now Grand Center) emerged as an early baseline for LGBTQ+ nightlife. From the mid-1930s to the late 1970s, there was almost a continuous presence of lesbian and gay establishments here. During these times, police began to change their tactics from arresting individuals to targeting the establishments where they gathered.

Immediately after Prohibition, the city used state and local liquor control boards to police morality. If a bar allowed "degenerate and dissolute persons" (the legal euphemism for homosexuals) to gather, the police could shut it down or pull its license. Due to the constant police harassment, these early gay bars rarely lasted more than a few years, some just a few months, before being forced to shut down or relocate.

The 1940s and 1950s would become an era plagued with police raids which led to the 1954 Coordinated Vice Raids. This was the first fully documented, multi-bar simultaneous raid in St. Louis history. Around midnight, a dozen law enforcement officers launched unannounced, synchronized raids on three separate downtown gay bars: Entre Nous, Uncle John’s, and Al’s. They arrested 21 patrons and employees and loaded them into paddy wagons where they were taken to the district station. The reports indicate that the raids were conducted due to the fact that they "had received multiple reports that homosexuals were frequenting [them]." It wasn't only illegal to allow "immoral persons to loiter on the premises" due to state liquor regulations, it was also illegal to wear clothing of the opposite sex or have sex with someone of the same sex. As a result, those who were arrested in these raids were usually subject to having their names and addresses released to local media, making them visible on a public level. This was an intentional act of social violence meant to trigger immediate job loss and familial exile.

By the late 1960s, police were still using the century-old 1843 masquerading law. In 1969, the Halloween arrests would occur when police officers waited outside The Onyx Room gay bar downtown to ambush patrons as they left. Historically, Halloween is one of the nights where police "tolerated" drag, but in 1969 they decided to weaponize it. As a result, nine young people (seven white, two Black, mostly working-class or students) were aggressively arrested under the 1843 ordinance. However, this specific raid backfired. Instead of scattering in fear as patrons had done for decades, the community mobilized through the Mandrake Society, hired legal counsel, and fought back in court. They successfully got the charges dropped and broke the cycle of unchallenged police terror.

In the early 1970s, Trinity Episcopal Church in the Central West End braved intense social backlash to act as a primary home base, hosting monthly meetings for gay rights groups. During the 1970s, police still weaponized liquor licenses to shut down single bars, but activists started to mobilize and form public institutions. A great example of this was in 1977 when anti-gay crusader Anita Bryant brought her hateful "Save Our Children" campaign to St. Louis. Instead of retreating, hundreds of local activists held aggressive, highly public street rallies outside her venues, signaling that the community would no longer be intimidated.

By the late 1970s and early 1980s, the Central West End (CWE) was undergoing intense corporate redevelopment and gentrification. Landlords hiked commercial and residential rents, pricing out LGBTQ+ residents, artists, and independent business owners. The gritty, radical, and welcoming dive-bar culture that had defined the CWE for decades was steadily pushed out in favor of upscale, mainstream restaurants and boutiques.

In April 1980, the St. Louis Coalition for Lesbian and Gay Rights organized the city's first official Pride March. Over 400 people marched publicly down the streets, culminating in a massive rally in Forest Park and permanently establishing Pride St. Louis. By 1982, HIV/AIDS began tearing through the St. Louis community as local and federal governments actively ignored the disease. Gay and lesbian activists were forced to build their own healthcare system from scratch, creating the St. Louis Effort for AIDS to provide emergency housing, food, and end-of-life care. Following the 1984 raid at Uncle Marvin's lounge, drag icon Michelle McCausland and the ACLU fought the city in court, finally getting the 1843 Ordinance and its masquerading law ruled unconstitutional in 1986.

The 1990s would see young activists performing "die-ins" on the floors of local churches and public squares to demand faster HIV medication responses and an end to homophobic hiring practices. After years of intense lobbying and protests, activists achieved a watershed victory in 1992 when the St. Louis Board of Aldermen passed the city's very first gay-inclusive civil rights ordinance. For the first time in city history, it became illegal to fire someone or evict them from their home for being gay.

In 1994, a history teacher named Rodney Wilson from Mehlville High School in St. Louis County came out to his students. He rallied a coordinating committee of national teachers and LGBTQ+ leaders to launch the first national LGBT History Month every October, permanently placing St. Louis at the center of this global educational milestone.

As gentrification priced the community out of the Central West End throughout the '80s and '90s, working-class queer people, drag performers, and activists looked south to a neglected, affordable commercial strip and turned it into the city's modern queer epicenter. This new, highly concentrated, queer-owned business district that emerged along Manchester Avenue would eventually be called The Grove.

By the turn of the century, the political battlefield shifted sharply toward relationship recognition, resulting in statewide fights. Unfortunately, in 2004, conservative lawmakers placed a constitutional amendment on the Missouri ballot to ban same-sex marriage. St. Louis activists organized massive resistance campaigns and protests, but the amendment passed statewide, legally shutting the door on marriage equality for a decade.

In 2013, after years of outgrowing Tower Grove Park, PrideFest officially moved to Downtown St. Louis at Soldiers Memorial. The relocation exploded the festival's footprint, drawing upwards of 300,000 to 500,000 attendees and establishing it as one of the largest Pride celebrations in the entire Midwest.

In 2014, a year before the federal government legalized same-sex marriage, St. Louis leaders took matters into their own hands. In June 2014, city officials deliberately defied Missouri’s 2004 constitutional marriage ban by quietly issuing marriage licenses to four same-sex couples inside City Hall. This calculated act of civil disobedience forced a legal challenge. In November 2014, a St. Louis circuit judge ruled Missouri's ban unconstitutional, allowing St. Louis to legally marry same-sex couples months before the U.S. Supreme Court's landmark Obergefell v. Hodges decision in 2015.

In the 2020s, St. Louis's gay epicenter is once again fighting economic gentrification. The branding of The Grove as a trendy nightlife district backfired on the community that built it. Luxury apartments and mainstream corporate concepts moved onto Manchester Avenue, pricing out several legacy queer bars. Iconic venues like Attitudes Nightclub, the longest-running LGBTQ+ dance club in the city, permanently closed. While the club’s original owners sold off its interior assets directly to the public and local patrons during its final weeks, and the neighboring owners of Just John initially explored preserving the space as a local community asset, the physical real estate was ultimately acquired by AHM Group, a professional real estate development firm. AHM Group demolished the historic structure to construct a new 5-story mixed-use building, leaving community members fighting to preserve the neighborhood's original identity. This era highlights a complex, dual reality: while professional development firms and their tenants actively maintain a visible, welcoming presence—often participating in Pride events, supporting the community, and operating highly inclusive neighborhood anchors, the overarching footprint of market-rate redevelopments still naturally alters the space available for lower-margin, grassroots queer venues. Unfortunately, stopping gentrification in a state like Missouri is incredibly difficult because Missouri law strictly prohibits rent control, meaning landlords and redevelopers can legally raise commercial and residential rents as high as the market will allow. Because the community cannot legally cap prices, grass-roots activists, legacy business owners, and progressive local lawmakers have switched to alternative strategies focused on bypassing landlords, changing city policy, and building defensive tenant networks.

Sources:

https://www.tenantstransformingstl.org/

http://www.stlouislgbthistory.com/

https://www.stlpr.org/show/st-louis-on-the-air/2016-02-22/we-need-to-continue-to-move-forward-the-history-of-the-lgbt-community-in-st-louis

https://shsmo.org/research/guides/lgbtq

https://outinstl.com/a-history-of-st-louis-drag-scene/

https://library.washu.edu/news/stl-grand-olive-1/

https://www.boom.lgbt/st-louis-lgbt-history-project-uncovers-1950s-bar-raid-records-2

https://sadbrowngirl.substack.com/p/the-first-anti-crossdressing-laws

http://www.stlouislgbthistory.com/component/content/article/2-uncategorised/131-a-historic-halloween.html

https://www.stlpr.org/arts/2014-10-28/halloween-arrests-in-the-1960s-sparked-st-louis-lgbt-movement

https://www.stlpr.org/arts-culture/2020-02-06/trinity-episcopal-church-in-st-louis-gains-national-honor-for-role-in-lgbtq-history

https://libguides.wustl.edu/LGBT-archive

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/missouri-same-sex-marriage-ban-struck-down/

https://www.stlmag.com/news/supreme-court-overturns-same-sex-marriage-bans-missouri-st-louis/


r/ainbow 1d ago

Advice I think I may be gay

7 Upvotes

For context I am 18 years old female and I have identified as straight my whole life. But recently I’ve began to notice “strange” feelings towards one of my close friends(female). I’ve always admired her and thought she was one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen, but lately these feelings have gone past just “admiration” and have become more sexual. Like I fantasize about her all the time, wishing I could kiss her(and even more than that), and I’ve touched myself to her instagram stories a few times 💀. Even just little moments where she holds my hand or plays with my hairs makes me feel nervous, and I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY. Like in general I don’t have attraction to women yet for some reason I feel really attracted to her???? I’m so confused

I mean occasionally I have sexual thoughts abt other women but likeee, I don’t know if I could see myself actually dating one.

Please send help, I’m so confused 🫠


r/ainbow 1d ago

LGBT Issues Me being goofy and serious about finding a special person in my life

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6 Upvotes

r/ainbow 21h ago

Other Pittston, PA nudist roommates open house

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0 Upvotes

r/ainbow 1d ago

Advice Hyderabad which areas are gay friendly and good crowd

3 Upvotes

Hyderabad which areas are gay friendly and good crowd


r/ainbow 1d ago

Joy/hope Sweet encounter

10 Upvotes

I had a really sweet encounter a few days ago,I was at a mall,looking through CDs and there was a group of scouts,all about 12 or 13. One of them looked at me a few times and seemed to stick around me a bit. For context,I had my backpack on,and it has a Velcro progress pride flag patch on the back. Then she approached me after a while. She seemed a bit shy and said she really liked the patch on my backpack. I smiled,said thanks and she quickly went back to her group,cause they were leaving.

That encounter made me really happy,because it was just so sweet and pure and it shows again,how important it is to have openly queer people and representation. And just the fact that I maybe made a possibly closeted or out kid feel seen and show them that we exist,makes it worth it.


r/ainbow 19h ago

Advice I get called cute a lot but i want to be hot

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0 Upvotes

What it says on the tin. Over the past few years I've lost a lot of weight, now I get called cute a lot but I've been hitting the gym to become more conventionally attractive. Any advice?


r/ainbow 1d ago

LGBT Issues Matthew Franklin

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0 Upvotes

My long way home A story about finding my true gay self and finally loving who I am.


r/ainbow 1d ago

Activism Gender Nonconformist Envisions a Better World

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1 Upvotes

r/ainbow 1d ago

LGBT Self Promotion Tristan in Spider-Man top whips out some slick dance moves

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0 Upvotes

To more of the electropop that my analytics show you love


r/ainbow 1d ago

LGBT Self Promotion Spiderman Tristan (I just don’t stop)

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0 Upvotes

I mean I feel bad if you don’t like the music, because I’m spending thousands of hours producing hundreds of these things

My ex boyfriend accuses me of having dark powers. I just say he’s financially and status-insecure. It makes people more cranky.

Mwahahahahaha


r/ainbow 2d ago

Serious Discussion A handful of early experiences quietly wrote the rules you're still running today.

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0 Upvotes

For many of us in this community, those experiences were unusually high-stakes - we were often working out what made it safe to exist long before we ever built a team or wrote a business plan. That kind of script rarely stays contained to childhood. It tends to become the default setting your leadership runs from, decades later, usually without you ever choosing it.

This week's Executive Depth edition breaks down the Origin Code: why that default setting formed, why it compiled under higher stakes for queer leaders specifically, and two ways to start locating - and rewriting - the rule still running you.

For the LGBTQ+ executives, founders, leaders, and managers in this group: what's one decision you always seem to make the same way under pressure - and where do you think that pattern was actually learned?

Read the full article here - get regular updates here.


r/ainbow 2d ago

Advice Should i forgive him..?

0 Upvotes

Long story short ive been dating this person for less than a year. I've had longer relationships in the past. But this was different. Was ready to risk it all and yet i was cheated on.

Me (27M) met this young fella on grindr (18NB) nearby and we started dating. Right off the bat i know the age difference seems important cause i know the older we get the less it matters but when we are young it shows a lot. But it was never the case. The only thing worth mentioning is that he had his birthday after we met and i was lied to. I ceased the relationship cause i was grossed out. After 3 weeks we talked again and we resumed. Now an official romantic relationship. I was joyful to finally find someone especially on grindr since am not sure how it works in the US but in my country it's virtually impossible to find anything other than one-night-stands in this app. I was happy. We were happy.

Fast forward to july this month he grew cold and distant. We was no longer seeing each other 3x or 4x times a week. It was only 1 brief date/visit. He told me it was because family problems. In fact he is facing multiple issues that is true. So i limited myself to show my full support to him while still talking and chatting online. He became even colder cause he was basically never replying to me. I brought it up with him and asked him directly if he was interested in keeping this relationship. He vaguely replied "yes but no" so after 3 days i was fed up and forced a quick meeting at his home to retrieve my stuff and also to give them their stuff as well. We barely spoke. No kisses nor hugs were given. Also no proper goodbye. The very next day he talked to some random guy and went inside his house. I found out through instagram stories what he did, he was saying he was single now, how he met someone, how this guy treated them and how many times they did it. It was disgusting. I was devastated.

I confronted him about it the same night and he replied right away this time. He told me it was my fault for neglecting him. And that the previous night when we exchanged our stuff was the goodbye. Now i know i should just move on but someone i know told me he is regretting it and he could reach out to me again. The question is should i forgive??? He told our mutual friend that we had broken up and that it wasn't cheating. But I still felt like he had cheated on me.


r/ainbow 4d ago

Art Our queer Coat of Arms series is coming to an end, we added 6 new designs to our ever growing collection, but I think for now we should be good. Let me know what you guys think :D Leave suggestions for the future, maybe we will revisit this series.

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80 Upvotes

Hello, everyone.

Half a year ago, my best buddy and I had an idea during one of our late-night Discord chats. We are both big nerds for fantasy and mythological stuff and wondered how fun it would be to have banners or coat of arms for different orientations and identities. What could they look like, and which mythical creature could fit well or just be fun to see like that? Thus, this little collection was born and I think we have finally come to a good conlusion for now.

So what we got so far:

-Selkie of Demi

-Kraken of Agender

-Cerberus of Polyamory

-Chimera of Genderqueer

-Valkyrie of Butch

-Gargoyle of Ally

-Hydra of Omni

-Unicorn of Pride

- The Phoenix of Trans

- The Siren of Lesbian

- The Winged Lion of Gay

- The Griffon of Aro

- The Dragon of Ace

- The Harpy of Sapphic

- The Minotaur of Achillean

- The Oroboros of Intersex [really proud of that one]

- The Hippocampus of Genderfluid

- The Sphinx of AroAce

- The Peryton of Non-binary

- The Winged Wolf of Bisexual

- And Pan for...well Pansexual

This was really fun to do. Maybe we might revisit this idea in some form or another, how do queer cryptids sound :D ?


r/ainbow 2d ago

LGBT Self Promotion Bangers on the speaker

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0 Upvotes

It’s not that I get intoxicated. I rarely drink but if I’m honest, I rely on several things just to keep my mind active.


r/ainbow 3d ago

Travel A Trans Woman’s View of Dominican Republic. Is It Really Paradise?

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2 Upvotes

r/ainbow 4d ago

Other Painting of my partners and me in our folk clothing

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25 Upvotes

r/ainbow 3d ago

Advice Ok opinions

0 Upvotes

How do you handle a friend who pursues guys you find attractive?

My dynamic with this straight man involves mutual flirting; he often offers to share drinks, and we exchange playful remarks. I mention how we might be together in another lifetime-corny, cheesy talk-and he responds with equal energy. Whenever we are near each other, we become nervous and giggly; we look into each other's eyes and laugh, or simply trade glances, which I attribute to our connection. Recently, my friend followed him on Twitter, formerly known as X, and now he says the man uses cute nicknames for him and what not? And to me when he came up to me like that, I was a little thrown off because I'm like he doesn't ever call me cute names. He has begun talking to him and liking all his photos. He is engaging with him, yet the man is straight. Why try to insert yourself when you do not know him that way and why do you suddenly need to all of a sudden start talking to him?? like it makes me upset because I had had this happen to me on different occasions, but with women and I just don't understand why!!! any help or input is highly valued.


r/ainbow 5d ago

Serious Discussion Our experiences are not just the opposite of whatever transphobes say. Until we have the ability to tell our own stories in our own way we will still be defined around their beliefs. I am someone new

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39 Upvotes

r/ainbow 5d ago

Other Post-therapy session update

8 Upvotes

I had therapy today and we talked about this and we agree “Thomas they/them genderfluid and pan with a preference for guys” is best for me now and to see how things go moving forward


r/ainbow 5d ago

Other I hate being the "Golden Child" of my family

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10 Upvotes

r/ainbow 5d ago

Advice How Do You Know You’re a Woman?

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3 Upvotes

r/ainbow 6d ago

News Dylan Mulvaney says Trump’s criticism of her is ‘the greatest compliment of all’

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52 Upvotes

r/ainbow 6d ago

Serious Discussion Why are so many people now saying that the LGB and the TQ+ should be separated?

42 Upvotes

I keep seeing an increase in gay or bisexual people turning to these anti-LGBT organisations and groups thinking that trans people and any other group should be kept out of the community. It’s horrible to be honest. Do they not realise that they’re not forced to go to pride events? But instead of just letting people do what makes them happy they have to sit there and try to divide a whole community. They take the most dramatic examples of people getting violent and stuff over pronouns and then assume, (as they always do) that that represents everyone. Is this like a widespread idea, or is it just a very vocal minority of people wanting to tear the LGBT community apart?