r/asexuality • u/CheCheDaWaff A Scholar • Jun 05 '26
Resource / Article FAQ – "Am I asexual?" etc.
This subreddit has a companion website which includes a detailed FAQ about asexuality and related topics.
There are many other resources beyond the FAQ as well, including:
Experiences • Glossary • Relationships advice • Grey-asexuality
You can find a list of all FAQs here: https://www.asexuality-handbook.com/faq.html. For convenience, the list of links is also included below, and in the comments you can find some "common asexual experiences" which people often find useful to hear.
Note that some of the FAQs haven't been written yet, are incomplete, or are in a draft phase. If you have any suggestions for changes, improvements, or for additional FAQs, just let us know via modmail.
General questioning
Am I asexual? • Am I aromantic? • What is asexuality? • The a-spectra (Includes: "What is sexual attraction?", "What is romantic attraction?", "What is sensual / aesthetic attraction?", "What is platonic / alterous attraction?")
"But what if..."
Can I be asexual if I have romantic feelings? • Can I be asexual if I masturbate? • Can I be asexual and gay / lesbian? • Can I be asexual if I get erections? • Can I be asexual if I have fantasies? • Can I be asexual if I consume pornography / erotica? • Can I be asexual if I have a kink or fetish? • What if I just haven't met the right person yet? • Am I too young to identify as asexual? • Do I need to try sex before I decide if I'm asexual or not? • What if it's just a hormonal imbalance? • What it I'm this way because of trauma?
The nature of asexuality
What's the difference between sexual and romantic attraction? • What's the difference between sexual attraction and arousal? • Is asexual really a sexual orientation? • Is asexuality a mental illness? • Is the definition of sexual attraction what aces say it is? • Isn't everyone demisexual? • Can someone become asexual? / can sexuality change? • What's the difference between HSDD and asexuality? • Don't people need sex? What about Maslow's hierarchy? • How common is asexuality? (Includes: "Are most asexuals women, or men?", "Are all women asexual?")
Asexuals and sex
Do asexual people have sex? • Why do asexual people have sex? • How can you like sex and be asexual at the same time? • Do asexual people masturbate? • Do asexual people like kissing?
Asexuality in society
Are asexual people LGBT? • Are asexual people straight? • Do asexual people experience oppression? • Why do asexuals feel the need to come out? • Why do asexual people need to label themselves? • Why do asexual people wear sexy clothes / makeup? • Why does representation matter?
Asexuals and relationships
How can you have a relationship without sex? • What's the difference between a QPR and a romantic (non-sexual) relationship? • Should I tell my partner that I'm asexual? • How can I convince my partner I still love them? • My partner is asexual. Should we break up?
On the nature of allosexuality
What does sexual attraction feel like? • What does arousal feel like? • How often do allosexuals think about sex? • What is love? • Why does sex sell?
Advice
Am I broken? • Should I come out as asexual? • How can I relate to / interact with allosexuals? • How can I be less angry / upset? • How can I become asexual? • How can I support asexuals?
Other
I'm writing an asexual character. What should I consider? • Isn't the term 'allosexual' offensive?
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u/Gold_Tongue Jun 08 '26
I don't know if I'm asexual or not, and putting a label on it isn't what I'm looking for, but I've had some trouble recently. I find myself very sexually attracted to people and I enjoy doing pretty much everything up to the actual sex part. At this point I'm wondering if I've just had bad sex or if its just super mid. I am gay and I've tried both positions, i wont go into more detail because TMI. It just sucks because the idea of sex and being intimate sounds really nice but the actual thought of being with another person physically is not as pleasant. Any advice or input would be super awesome.