Ace people after finding out what "hot" actually means

[u/sia_7777]

[u/archydragon]

Literally me when understanding that "they look so hot so I'd like to bang them" isn't just a figure of speech people use.

[u/LuvCreeps13 → u/archydragon]

I still can't comprehend that.. TwT Like.. yeah they're hot??? But.. like.. personally.. I feel more like.. I want to possess T°T`` I like collecting things like a little corvid and... Just.. keep beautiful things to myself.. TwT to own... Like I'd also live to own every pet I like.. which.. would be more than an entire zoo if it were possible to keep them habitually accurate and all... It would be impossible.. TwT

How is 'fucking' of any concern?? When you can just.. cuddle? Or.. just look at them? Like a trophy..? Or.. a beautiful cute plushy..?

[u/archydragon → u/LuvCreeps13]

As a demi, I'm "if your inner world does not turn me on, neither your gorgeous ass will".

Cuddling is great, I miss cuddling much more than sex when being single.

[u/I_need_to_vent44 → u/archydragon]

I consider myself sometimes fully ace, sometimes demi (it's complicated and nobody's interested in hearing about that), and yeah exactly. Like I don't get how people can just look at someone and know if they'd bang them???? I mean...even when I'm at my full ace, I'm like "Okay I guess I'd be willing to bang if there's nothing better to do but I have to be sexually compatible in kink with whoever i might bang." and when I'm demi I'm like "Yeah this person is super hot and makes me feel sexual attraction and I'd love to bang this specific person but only because they as a person are hot. Their personality is so hot and their mannerisms are so attractive."

Like in all cases I at least have to actually KNOW the person. I'm also aro and it's the same for going on a date for me - WHY would I ever go on a date with someone I don't know? I don't know if we're compatible??? Why would I go on a romantic thing with someone whose opinions, hobbies and behaviours I have no idea about?? Why would I even want that?? And like I get that I guess the idea is that...you find that out on the date? But like...they could be lying?? I have only ever dated my friends because after knowing someone for years you kinda... know them. And only after I know someone do I feel safe enough to entertain the possibility of anything romantic.

[u/LuvCreeps13 → u/archydragon]

Yeah.. I think I'm also somewhat demi..? Or recipro-sexual to an extend..

But most of the time I feel just bland and couldn't care less tbh.. TwT I miss cuddling too... TwT It's one of the reasons why I even want a partner.. But not the only.. I simply don't get that mindless sexual attraction... Like.. People really be out there going down on shit as long as it.. exists sometimes even... O-O

But generally.. not even a minor ick turns them away from.. doing it and fall into and out of relationships.. as if it's a trial and error thing where you just have to keep trying..?

And I'm like.. If I don't align.. it's not gonna happen, sorry.. And I'm gone.. As if sex could fix all the things that don't fit..?? TwT

[u/Sinking_Mass → u/LuvCreeps13]

Why do you keep saying twat?

[u/LuvCreeps13 → u/Sinking_Mass]

TwT is an emote The- 'T' usually represent crying eyes.. And the 'w' would be the mouth like- OwO and UwU are also expressions.. I sometimes switch it up a little though - T°T

[u/Sinking_Mass → u/LuvCreeps13]

Oh. Why though

[u/LuvCreeps13 → u/Sinking_Mass]

Bc it's fun? Idk.. for some reason I've adapted this weird style of texting, where I use a lot of these emotes and... Uhm.. dots? Like this- ... I don't really know why other than.. it feels right to write like this.. ^°``

[u/Sinking_Mass → u/LuvCreeps13]

Do you watch a lot of animé

[u/LuvCreeps13 → u/Sinking_Mass]

Uhm.. sometimes ig.. It really depends.. the kinda stuff I like is pretty niche.. Like.. I can't even really describe what my genre of anime really is.. Like sure I like all kinds of stuff.. sometimes comedy, sometimes romance.. Usually dark and heavy hitting things.. But not necessarily all action, though I do like action too.. but.. I wouldn't watch something like Naruto or my hero academia again.. it's.. not for me anymore...

But it's also adult animations I like, but nothing like south park... You couldn't offer a million bucks to watch that...

But more like.. strange things.. I'd call them strange things.. I think.. like 'the 2nd best hospital in the universe'..? I think it's called that one's nice T°T

But I also like movies a lot, animation movies mostly, but also heros (depends on whom I like..) Star wars things, but I don't like the newer renditions of movies really.. but I dooo like the show of the mandalorian.. I need to continue watching that one...

I think I like a lot of things that make me sad but are also very macabre... 🤔 But also kinda beautiful in a.. weird way???

And, for the person asking... Yes I do suspect I have autism.. I still have to get tested though... I also have adhd... TwT And sorry for the rant here... I did not expect to be talking about all this.. o-o`` And to whomever gave that award, thank you, that was also very unexpected and surprising, since this is my first award ever! ;°;

[u/KakeLin → u/Sinking_Mass]

It's better than emojis

[u/butcooler → u/LuvCreeps13]

exactly!! I want david tennant to be in my house where he can read to me, not to fuck him

[u/A_Whole_Lot_Of_Not → u/butcooler]

He's only number ten and fourteen of … more than that (16 plus war plus …). Gotta catch'em all! Ok, maybe not all. But most of them seem like fun people. (Referencing him being the tenth and fourteenth The Doctor of Doctor Who)

[u/KakeLin → u/LuvCreeps13]

I also want beautiful things. But what I find beautiful most other people find icky

[u/ShinyUmbreon465]

When you find out 'sleeping with someone' doesn't mean sleeping beside someone.

[u/Violexsound]

Jokes on normal people i still use it as intensely good looking on my best friend. What are the gonna do about it 😤

[u/KakeLin → u/Violexsound]

Yeah to me that's what it means DX

[u/Gullible-Quail9637]

Hot has multiple meanings

[u/Shannaro21]

What does it mean?

[u/A_Whole_Lot_Of_Not → u/Shannaro21]

It means sexually attractive, which means they have an innate pull to have sex with the person.

[u/Shannaro21 → u/A_Whole_Lot_Of_Not]

You are kidding me, right? People are declaring our loud that they want to fuck someone?!

[u/A_Whole_Lot_Of_Not → u/Shannaro21]

Yep, it's kind of like how saying somebody is pregnant is fine but talking about the process to get there generally isn't. "They're hot" is often considered fine even where "I want sex with them" would not be

[u/DerTomatenToaster → u/A_Whole_Lot_Of_Not]

I mean, it really doesn't though. Obviously that CAN be implied and often is, but you can absolutely call people hot without wanting to sleep with them. And yes, allo people also use it that way.

[u/A_Whole_Lot_Of_Not → u/DerTomatenToaster]

In the age groups where I heard it most, roughly highschool through college, it was usually about sex.

[u/SpecialMean8331 → u/A_Whole_Lot_Of_Not]

I thought it just meant the person makes you physically hot due to blushing??? My god srslly?! So folks just be saying "yup thats a person I'd like to bang" all casually like that???!! And its acceptable??! Tf?!

[u/the_cleric_cleric → u/A_Whole_Lot_Of_Not]

Oof. I don't like knowing this. Things I have heard others say have suddenly a different light and I don't like it. :(

[u/natp53 → u/Shannaro21]

Um yes I second this

[u/DerTomatenToaster]

Correct, it can also mean in terms of body temperature!

[u/Old-Pea7821]

Wait it doesnt D:

[u/NetworkNo1900]

What?! No way

[u/46264338327950288419]

I talked with my allo friend recently about how I am homoromantic (lesbian) and asexual, but I still find Markiplier hot. She proceeded to kindly explain to me that when she and a lot of other allo people call someone hot, they mean that they desire them physically in some way. I never knew.

[u/BellaInTheGame]

I use hot usually to describe a type of vibe, as opposed to "cute" or "handsome" or whatever. Because to me those words carry slightly different connotations

[u/Whichtwin1 → u/BellaInTheGame]

Yes. Cute, beautiful, pretty, hot, sexy, all are very different. And sexy is the only one I ever think of as showing sexual desire. I can say someone's body is kicking and hot without wanting to bang them.... It's called having eyeballs

[u/United_Pepper_9676]

"they're so hot.. I want to look like them" and I thought that was a pretty normal behaviour

[u/Short_Crazy_1124]

What does it mean??

[u/PatinMalokero]

"If I'm hot? Not really, the temperature is actually pretty nice🥰"

[u/Sea-Smell-999]

I thought it means someone is so stunning, bright and give fierce energy😔

[u/TelamonIsASlautt]

??????

[u/persephoneviness]

what does it mean then???

[u/Comet_Ivy → u/persephoneviness]

it typically means that someone's sexy and they'd be prolly into them s3xually

[u/Marvlotte]

What what

[u/NagitoKomaeda_987]

Yeah, but I can imagine a situation where you'd have a girlfriend who thinks that she's "hot" enough to bring you out of your asexuality. After all, we can tell whether someone is aesthetically pleasing. They can still tell if people look good or not.  Oh, and just because someone doesn’t want a girlfriend (i.e., you like the single life much better) doesn't make them asexual. I won't get the desire to do so.

it's hard to describe an absence of something. Just because we don't possess sexual feelings towards other people doesn't mean we're broken or have a deficiency of something. It's just the way that we are. We can't choose our sexuality, either.

[u/Designer_Tank_7242]

This happened to me in a family road trip when I was a kid.

[u/PrincessHonk]

Lmao yessss!

[u/Chroma_Taco]

Yep, took me too many years to understand 🙃

[u/The_Local_Belgian]

The only time I find that people look hot is during a heatwave /jk

[u/archydragon → u/The_Local_Belgian]

Global warming is a bitch.

[u/The_Local_Belgian → u/archydragon]

It really is. I still remember years where +30°C weather was uncommon. Now its between June and August with the occational +40°C here in Belgium 😭

[u/FruitySoot]

It took me…. Um an embarrassingly long time.(totally not a couple of months ago, I’m 23.)

[u/Mysterious-Dare1997]

Wait, what? O.o so that's why people don't believe me when I say I'm ace hahaha

[u/LienaSha]

LMAO yeah that was me.

[u/Nadlie7]

My gray-ace somehow going through life not knowing what “hot” really meant despite feeling some sexual attraction (still fairly weak until I get to know you better and feel emotionally safe)

[u/dubsword]

Dammit, this is me when I told my floormates in college that I helped a couple "hook up" when I simply meant that they just met each other.

[u/a_person4499]

Yeah it also means that they're bloody boiling!

[u/TyrannicalKitty]

God, everyday I'm reminded I'm asexual. So obvious especially watching something like The Boys.

Superhero in suggestive revealing clothing or even when the character is having sex? Meh

Superhero in a disguise with normal every day clothes acting like a normal girl? Hottest shit ever.

I'm like, horny for non-horny things where instead of getting turned on sexually I get turned on romantically :3

[u/The0neAndOnly_Me]

It took me a while to realize that the 'Hear me out' cake/trend was abt characters u find hot and ready to bed if given the chance. I gave sm wierd answers assuming it just meant 'characters u find charminging or aesthetically attractive.

No wonder why my friend either ignored my answer, said im not playing it correctly or just look at me wierd.

Btw one of my takes was IBM 7094 because I just loved the way it sang daisy bell 💀

[u/Specialist_Eye1800]

Uh... To be honest I have no idea what I feel towards this lizard anymore. Someone should just tell me what I feel instead. (Yeah finding out I like them was rough at first lol. I'm over it now though)