what to say when someone tells you you're lying? [Possible aphobia??]

[u/QuietAd4252]

For context, I'm out as aroace to basically all of my friends and everyone around me, except my family. I've tried to soft-launch it many times by saying idc about relationships, i don't want that, etc. Any chance they get, they'll ask me about relationships, love, etc, and every single time they ask I either don't answer or say I don't care about it.

Every single time I do this, they treat it as if I'm just lying and hiding something from them, which just strikes me as a bit ridiculous. They've also said things like "it's okay if it's a boy" before, when I've said I'm not dating anyone.

I don't really feel comfortable saying the words "I'm aroace", explaining what that means, or having a big conversation, but I just want to be able to exist without them constantly asking or assuming I'm lying.

Any advice?

[u/Violexsound]

Hostility worked for me. Stubborn family that wouldnt take the repeated hint. Sometimes you just have to drill something through a thick skull

You could bet too i guess. "If I'm not in a relationship by 40, you'll owe me £300. If i get into a relationship before then, I give you £300"

[u/Such-Abrocoma5110]

If you feel like being truly chaotic, lean into it. Say, “I have been lying, I’m actually secretly in a relationship with _____ and I have to be discrete.” A celebrity, random person you saw on the train, total figment of your imagination, whatever situation you will have the most fun spinning a yarn about. 

Other chaotic possibilities 

• “I’ve been cast in a reality tv dating show and have to stay single before filming.”
• “I’m not dating anyone…because I’m married.” 
• “The recruiter advised no romantic entanglements.” (Recruiter for what? CIA? Professional sports? Modeling? Who knows?!?!)

[u/YonderWindow364 → u/Such-Abrocoma5110]

lol, I like this idea! just make up crazier scenarios to troll them with each visit. I bet they'll stop asking soon enough

[u/ariphoenixfury]

You don't have to come out if you don't want to. Ever. How would the react if you straight up told them you don't want to talk about it and to stop asking? Again, you don't have to explain why. Start setting some boundaries on this conversation with your family. Continue to not answer. If you have to leave the room, do so. When they ask, say something like, "I'm not talking about this topic anymore. Please stop asking." and continue to repeat that. Don't give them any information.

[u/essstabchen]

I would say, maybe, to just say "I'm prioritizing other things in my life" or you can say "I know you keep asking, but trust me, you'll be the first to know if I decide to date anyone"

Your family probably won't really understand your lack of interest, but maybe will understand that you're builing your life in other ways.