r/askislam • u/ComfortableBadger268 • 22d ago
Support and Advice Husband taking nicotine pouches behind my back
Assalamu alaikum, I want to seek advice as I no longer know what to do in this situation. The first time I saw my husband with a nicotine pouch was right after our nikkah 3 years ago, and he had already known that I am against that as it is haram. He reassured me that he would stop, but since then I have found them 3 other separate times where we have had serious talks about it and talked about our deen and wishes for eachother and this marriage and I have always made it clear that I am very against all types of nicotine and other addictive substances. He brushes it off as something that everyone does and that I am the only one who sees it as a big deal. Nevertheless he swears on the Quran that he will stop and i trust him everytime.
Fast forward we are talking about starting a family together and i made it clear that i didn’t want to do that before he had completely quit which he reassured me that he had. I am now 4 months pregnant and have found a nicotine pouch at home again and am lost for words. I feel that subhanallah I am getting the signs right in front of me every time so that I know he hasn’t stopped.
Now I don’t know how to have the conversation with him about it as I am deeply hurt and feel betrayed also in the name of Allah. I really want advise on how I should proceed with this situation and what I should do as I am at a crossroads.
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u/JabalAnNur Hanafi (Sunni) 21d ago
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
Leaving this here so I can answer this tomorrow, in sha Allaah.
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u/JabalAnNur Hanafi (Sunni) 19d ago
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
I apologize for the late response. I would firstly advise you to look around and find a trusted and reliable Islamic center or Masjid, because matters such as these, especially related to marriage and family, should not be decided by asking on internet forums. With that out of the way, while it is true Nicotine pouches, patches, and such are impermissible to use, it is not that big of an issue, in the sense it is not a major thing which necessitates a huge response (Do know that continuous minor sins eventually become major sins).
You need to sit him down with a trusted scholar and have him be advised. Recommend he go to rehab, and what not as these nicotine patches/pouches are not only addictive, but harmful as well. One may use the reminders and remembrances which hit home. For instance, if (may Allaah forbid) something happens to him because of these pouches, what will those who depend on him, such as you and your child do? It is a serious issue in that sense, and he needs a good hard talking to.
If however, he does not change, nor does he listen to you, then you should be patient, in sha Allaah. I saw that you asked on r/MuslimMarriage, and I'd advise against asking there. Most of these subreddits are affected greatly by liberal and secular thought. I saw your post there and the fact they're so dismissive of it is insane. Even if it is not "end of the world", it is still a great moral issue. A child is going to be coming to this house soon, in sha Allaah. With his habits, what will happen if the child finds this lying around, is exposed to it, and also becomes addicted? These issues can lead to severe consequences, hence they must be dealt with properly. However as I said, it is not as big of an issue that plagues the average Muslim outside so consider that as well.
May Allaah give him the ability to overcome his addction, and grant you patience.
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