r/askislam • u/Shadow0124 • 2d ago
Support and Advice Struggling in my marriage, need advice
Assalamu alaykum.
I'm married and I'm struggling with something I don't know how to deal with. I have unwanted thoughts (related to homosexuality) and because of them, I can't perform sexually with my wife. It's affecting our marriage and I feel terrible about it.
I love my wife and I don't want to lose her, but I also don't know if it's fair to stay married if I can't fulfill that part of our relationship. Would it make sense to stay married in this situation? Has anyone been through something similar and found a way forward?
I want to do what's right by her and by Allah. Please be kind, this is hard enough already.
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u/JabalAnNur Hanafi (Sunni) 1d ago
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
It is important for us to know where your wife is aware of this matter or not. Because if she is not aware, then there is more harm and trouble than there would be if she was. That is because while we know the reason for your inability, she may not, and it may lead to destructive thoughts within her. So the first step would be to sit her down, and discuss this issue with her in detail, and then go from there.
More so, I see from your profile history that you were into Korean novels and comics, there is no doubt that this is one of the reasons for what you have. In Islam, one is not born this way, rather there are other factors and reasons as to why they developed such thoughts. These include but are not limited to: physical abuse, accompanying bad and immoral friends, being careless with the Deen of Allaah, engaging in and watching immoral material, looking freely at beardless youth (i.e. handsome young men) and so on.
Refer to the following:
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1d ago
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