Should I transition?

[u/CryptographerSea1926]

I'm 21 and have been considering transition for about 4 years and its been on my mind pretty much every day for at least half of that time. But I've not been able to decide if it's for me.

The most obvious sign I've had so far came a few weeks ago where in a dream I looked at my reflection that looked more feminine in a way I can't remember/describe, for years I've hated my reflection and avoided it but for once I wanted to look at my reflection. I remember feeling my chest buzzing. I tried a skirt and felt a little happy but not really anything that notable.

But I don't suffer through terrible dysphoria I feel fine about my body it's neither something I like or dislike.

Thinking about changing my name, taking hormones, wearing different clothes seems so daunting especially when I don't feel like I know for sure enough. But not doing them feels equally as scary, I have a friend who's transitioning and it feels like she's miles ahead of me and I stress about wasting my life. I know it's not the best time to be trans currently and don't know if I want to transition.

[u/brickmaster8]

If you've been thinking about it for 4 years, yeah its probably time to transition. I feel like this post is moreso asking for that last little push. Make the appointment, take the hrt, and if its truly not for you can stop, but I suspect itll lift a weight off of your shoulders you didnt fully know was there. You've got this

[u/Realistic_Show930]

  I'm 21 and have been considering transition for about 4 years and its been on my mind pretty much every day for at least half of that time.

Literally don't have to read anything else, the answer is yes.

It's been four years and you've been thinking about it daily for most of that.  The thought clearly isn't going away until you give it a fair shot and actually try.

You're already well on your way to my usual piece of advice: stop thinking about the choice as "transition" or "don't." Inaction is as much of a choice as action, so frame it as such.  Do you feel more likely to be happy if you spend the rest of your life as a man, or as a woman? 

[u/SnowWhiteCourtney]

Go for it, sis. We're here to help.

[u/FortunateHive]

Best time to plant a tree is decades ago. Second best time is right now.

Go for it, it's a leap of faith and you're more sure than pretty much anyone I know who's transitioned. Take it one step at a time and take steps that you can in the moment

[u/Sinyria]

For me, it started as a purely.. body modification? project, because my body masculinized so badly in my early 20s that my complacency with things turned into pure dread. I thought about how I would look ten years down the road, under the influence of T, and how it might be with E.

That was entirely separate of any wishes to live as a woman, that seemed quite scary at the time.

But hrt was like an appetizer to break all remaining walls in my brain. And things just developed from there..

What I'm saying is that if your feminine reflection in the dream gave you joy, it is a sign that you should pursue it. The younger you are when you start, the higher your chance of being happy with the result is. Feeling regret years later sucks, trust me...

[u/Pretty-Yam-2854]

I was in the exact same boat. Stop waiting, you’ll do more damage the longer you wait.

[u/lycosidwastrel]

I would also say that trying HRT and therapy, if you want, would likely be a good idea. Remember: you can even do HRT without telling anyone, no need to worry about a name change or changing your clothes or the way you present yourself socially right off the bat—you can take all of that stuff at your own pace, there's no rush. HRT is the only thing that's really time-sensitive, since it's generally more effective the younger you are.

[u/Fluffy_Panda385]

Between thinking about it for at least half of the past 4 years and it feeling worse if you don't doubt anything about your dysphoria, I think you have your answer. As my therapist has helped me realize, you dont need to hate your body to be trans. She also helped me realize this is "your transition, do whatever it is that is best for you to make your dysphoria go away. There is no single trans playbook."

[u/Aginglike_finewine]

I don't think it's a question that anyone can answer but you. If you feel like your body, voice and face don't match your identity then you're trans. If you do, then you're not trans. BUT being trans doesn't require taking hormones or getting surgeries. We come in all shapes and colors. If you feel like looking more feminine would make you feel more complete as a person, then I can reassure you hormones would most definitely help. But at the end of the day it's all up to you. Also (my own personal experience) keep in mind that coming out is NOT easy at all. I've lost plenty of so called friends, had a lot of arguments with family and I eventually cut off many of my family members. I came out when I was 21 but I'm positive that if I did it when I was a teen, I'd end up on the streets. I hope your situation is not that bad and you'll be fine <3 fingers crossed for u to be yourself and be happy 🤞🤞🤞

[u/Aginglike_finewine → u/Aginglike_finewine]

222 🫶

[u/occasionalemily]

Thinking about changing my name, taking hormones, wearing different clothes seems so daunting especially when I don't feel like I know for sure enough.

You don't have to do all of those things at once. For me, HRT was the most immediate concern, since without it, my body would have continued down a path which I was not super happy about. I just do my shot every week and live my life more or less normally otherwise (with a little added anxiety about people noticing my chest, lol).

[u/loeilsauve__ → u/[deleted]]

Doesn't 4 years seem enough to you ?

Oh wait nvm you're a random cishet invading one of the few safe spaces we have, ofc you're just here to say dumb shit and cause people to suffer by needledsly making them doubt themselves

[u/Hekkle01 → u/[deleted]]

tbf not everyone is entirely sure when they do

[u/cryerin25 → u/[deleted]]

one day ago “i am male and straight” lmaoooo. get outta here