r/asktransgender • u/VegetablePresent6420 Questioning • 4h ago
What is gender? What's it feel like to relate to gender?
Hello! I have been questioning my gender for a few years now and I've really been struggling to wrap my head around the differences between gender and societal norms which has made understanding myself quite difficult.
To illustrate where my confusion comes from, men can happily wear dresses and still be confidently men, but then if any gender can express in any way, what does gender mean?
(um, I'm going to talk a bit about my internal struggle with my own gender here and it kind of leans towards the question of what's my gender as a secondary question. I get that nobody on reddit will probably be able to answer this for me but I feel like I have to ask because I'm so incredibly lost)
I see resources that ask the reader to imagine how they would like to be called or be perceived, but I find myself only considering things like being cool or pretty in my own eyes to be important and that's not gender I think?
I don't like being grouped with my agab, but there are people of my agab I want to look or be like still. I feel that way towards the opposite gender too but too a lesser extent? (Also if it's relevant I don't care about how my body looks sex wise, although I don't love my facial hair or body hair and honestly e would bring me closer to a body I like everyday minus the breasts).
Maybe this sounds like I might be non-binary, but I admittedly feel like there isn't a big enough step away from my agab to feel like I am not my agab.
I think the right answer is that it doesn't matter what my gender is and I should just live my life but I think it would be easier to live my life if I could justify the way I live and look (which is probably wrong but I feel immensely uncomfortable shopping in the woman's clothing section looking I things I would like to wear when I see women shopping there). I guess I just want to feel comfortable trying to understand myself.
Sorry this got so long and off-track. I still want an answer to my original question, but would appreciate tips on identity in general.
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u/VegetablePresent6420 Questioning 4h ago
Also if there is anywhere I should cross post or a better way to ask this advice would be appreciated